Search found 29 matches

by Clarity
Sun Jul 31, 2011 10:43 am
Forum: Community & Public Visibility
Topic: Toronto Pride 2011: Sun July 3-- spread the word
Replies: 15
Views: 6993

Re: Toronto Pride 2011: Sun July 3-- spread the word

Uhh, Dargon, why are you giving him the benefit of the doubt about the church thing, given everything else he's said? I googled for a while, couldn't find any evidence that churches are required to perform same-sex marriages in Canada; indeed, several sites talk about churches that do perform same-s...
by Clarity
Sun Jul 31, 2011 8:11 am
Forum: Sexuality
Topic: Desire vs. Attraction
Replies: 21
Views: 9411

Re: Desire vs. Attraction

Hmm, I might try to define them by saying that desire is psychological arousal (often accompanied by physiological arousal, of course) and can be either free-floating (horniness) or focused on a person (you'll have fantasies of them when they're not around). Attraction, on the other hand, is either ...
by Clarity
Sun Jul 31, 2011 7:52 am
Forum: Sexuality
Topic: Reasons other than sexual attraction that people have sex
Replies: 16
Views: 32270

Re: Reasons other than sexual attraction that people have sex

For me (gray-asexual identified, but more sexual than most who identify that way, I think): 1. I was bored. 2. I thought I was supposed to. 3. I was unable to exert my will in most of my life, so the concept of doing something I genuinely wanted and would bring me pleasure seemed alien. It was easie...
by Clarity
Sun Jul 31, 2011 7:09 am
Forum: Sexuality
Topic: Look, a sexually active asexual main character!
Replies: 1
Views: 1193

Look, a sexually active asexual main character!

I had realized by then that I didn't feel what others called "desire." Something was missing in me. I felt love--the strain and heat of it, the animal comfort mixed up with human fear. I felt it for all the Glovers, for Sammi at the bakery, for Dylan when he sang "Baby Blue." Bu...
by Clarity
Tue Jun 07, 2011 5:19 pm
Forum: Sexuality
Topic: To consent or decline?
Replies: 2
Views: 1664

To consent or decline?

How do you--asexuals, gray-asexuals, and sexuals all included--decide whether or not to consent to (or propose) a given type of sex with a given partner at a given time? In my life I've suffered from partners assuming consent wasn't necessary--and that communication wasn't either. I never want to en...
by Clarity
Thu Sep 17, 2009 6:57 am
Forum: Sexuality
Topic: Are these things sexual or asexual?
Replies: 13
Views: 7100

Are these things sexual or asexual?

BDSM (which is about emotional and interpersonal things like dominance, submission, humiliation, and so on, and therefore doesn't have anything to do with sexual attraction to another person) Responsive desire (which seems to me to be pretty much by definition that you're not sexually attracted to y...
by Clarity
Tue Sep 15, 2009 10:16 am
Forum: Asexuality
Topic: reactionary politics and prescriptive asexuality
Replies: 24
Views: 9119

Re: reactionary politics and prescriptive asexuality

This article is amazing: http://www.scrippsnews.com/node/46345 Apparently originally published in the San Francisco Chronicle and written by Demian Bulwa, it's titled "Sex? Asexuals say who needs it?" I'm assuming a lot of y'all know about it. It starts off discussing a 48-year-old asexual...
by Clarity
Tue Sep 15, 2009 9:22 am
Forum: Relationships
Topic: The concept of squish
Replies: 45
Views: 25445

Re: The concept of squish

fwiw, I was on this thread on another forum: http://giftedhaven.net/forum/showthread.php?tid=1928 . Nothing to do with asexuality, but the people there found the concept of a squish to be helpful. (Although I'll agree that people there, including me, said some arguably foolish things.) A crush can b...
by Clarity
Mon Sep 07, 2009 3:10 pm
Forum: Asexuality
Topic: reactionary politics and prescriptive asexuality
Replies: 24
Views: 9119

Re: reactionary politics and prescriptive asexuality

I think you answered your own question, sinister: Perhaps the need for a male stems from our views on sex and the current expectations of how men relate to the opposite sex. It is okay for a woman not to want sex, but a man who does not have a constant porno film running in his mind is somehow broke...
by Clarity
Thu Sep 03, 2009 8:28 pm
Forum: Asexuality
Topic: reactionary politics and prescriptive asexuality
Replies: 24
Views: 9119

Re: reactionary politics and prescriptive asexuality

I think there's tons of people who question their orientation constantly, in every label. "Extensive Kinsey studies show that 37 percent of American men have achieved orgasm with other men, yet only 4 percent identify as gay." This "stat" actually comes from Kinsey et al.'s book...
by Clarity
Thu Sep 03, 2009 8:05 pm
Forum: Introductions
Topic: Hello!
Replies: 20
Views: 3900

Re: Hello!

Yeah, I know! I guess my sense of the vast range of emotions and situations that can involve or not involve crying for a given individual at a certain time and a certain immediate setting makes it seem so ridiculous that people would assume something from crying. I mean, I most often cry in deep exi...
by Clarity
Thu Sep 03, 2009 5:26 pm
Forum: Asexuality
Topic: reactionary politics and prescriptive asexuality
Replies: 24
Views: 9119

Re: reactionary politics and prescriptive asexuality

Or maybe they're perfectly capable of orgasming from mutual masturbation or sexual activity with another man, but when they think about the psychological component, they're not attracted to men. And the psychological component's more important than the mechanical. I mean, I'm sure some many would, i...
by Clarity
Thu Sep 03, 2009 4:37 pm
Forum: Asexuality
Topic: reactionary politics and prescriptive asexuality
Replies: 24
Views: 9119

Re: reactionary politics and prescriptive asexuality

I think there's tons of people who question their orientation constantly, in every label. These statistics are completely subject to suspicion, but here's some quotes from a book called The Bisexual's Guide to the Universe[/i by Nicole Kristal and Mike Szymanski: "Extensive Kinsey studies show ...
by Clarity
Thu Sep 03, 2009 1:36 pm
Forum: Introductions
Topic: greetings
Replies: 6
Views: 872

Re: greetings

Hola.
by Clarity
Thu Sep 03, 2009 7:02 am
Forum: Introductions
Topic: Hello!
Replies: 20
Views: 3900

Re: Hello!

I have an INTJ (I think) friend who really surprised me when he told me that he couldn't cry for strangers. I can't help but cry for strangers sometimes. And he couldn't even cry for a friend of several of his own friends who had died their senior year of high school. ...This one kind of struck me....
by Clarity
Wed Sep 02, 2009 6:38 pm
Forum: Asexuality
Topic: reactionary politics and prescriptive asexuality
Replies: 24
Views: 9119

Re: reactionary politics and prescriptive asexuality

@Pretzelboy I think you're saying that the label "asexual" leads to our brains assuming that a person can be asexual or can be not asexual, and so the label causes the conformity pressure. But the reason the label is something so high-pressured is because of politics. Not as much the polit...
by Clarity
Wed Sep 02, 2009 6:01 pm
Forum: Introductions
Topic: Hello!
Replies: 20
Views: 3900

Re: Hello!

I think part of all this is that "empathy" is a slippery construct to pin down. I think I've stopped trying to because I always tied my mind in knots. I can't speak for all us INTJs but I my self have a very difficult time empathizing I think it has to do with my inability to view other in...
by Clarity
Wed Aug 26, 2009 11:43 am
Forum: Introductions
Topic: Hello!
Replies: 20
Views: 3900

Re: Hello!

Thanks for the greetings! (And the discussion. ;) ) The main reasons for coming out as gifted are pretty much the main reasons for coming out as anything else--political advocacy, social awareness, personal relief, finding others like you, and so on. Saying that things are solved by university is ki...
by Clarity
Sun Aug 23, 2009 4:23 pm
Forum: Introductions
Topic: Hello!
Replies: 20
Views: 3900

Re: Hello!

Thank you! It's interesting--in the gifted teen/young adult community I belong to, a lot of people are "in the closet", even from their own families. They come to a website in order to talk to other gifted people their age, but they won't admit to being gifted in real life. There isn't rea...
by Clarity
Sun Aug 23, 2009 9:42 am
Forum: Asexuality
Topic: Things Asexuals Like
Replies: 16
Views: 7052

Re: Things Asexuals Like

.5^5? Assuming that each player is equally likely to pick any given tile.

I would just like to say that I have never before seen anyone spam a math problem. It makes me happy. ^^
by Clarity
Fri Aug 21, 2009 1:33 pm
Forum: Asexuality
Topic: Don't knock it til you try it!
Replies: 23
Views: 10700

Re: Don't knock it til you try it!

Instead of the long side notes about how we're not suggesting someone who doesn't want to have sex should try it just to see or to prove something, couldn't we say: "It's never good to have sex just because of social pressures or just to prove something." ? And I think another main point i...
by Clarity
Fri Aug 21, 2009 11:24 am
Forum: Sexuality
Topic: Pre-asexuality views on sex?
Replies: 38
Views: 20774

Re: Pre-asexuality views on sex?

Romance stuff freaked me out when I was a kid. ~_^ Before reading more of the sorts of stories around here, I spent about 4 years of teenage angst questioning my sexuality. See, I identified as bi, and I really wanted to hold onto that identity, because my only real motive not to was anti-bi prejudi...
by Clarity
Fri Aug 21, 2009 10:10 am
Forum: Blog Post Discussion
Topic: LGBTQQAILOLWTF?!
Replies: 16
Views: 11078

Re: LGBTQQAILOLWTF?!

My school's GSA is called "Alphabet Soup!!"--the acronym is LGBTTQQIAPPTSS, or random variants that occur when people try to repeat it from memory. The A is for asexuality, though. I love the QuEST (Questioning Established Sexual Taboos) acronym, though. I wish my group had been so clever!...
by Clarity
Fri Aug 21, 2009 9:50 am
Forum: Blog Post Discussion
Topic: What heaven perhaps will grant us
Replies: 1
Views: 18898

Re: What heaven perhaps will grant us

Thanks for sharing this! (Way back when...)

I think this is the kind of love/community I have been looking for. I will try to provide something of that feeling for others, then.
by Clarity
Thu Aug 20, 2009 2:37 pm
Forum: Asexuality
Topic: "Quality of life"
Replies: 21
Views: 8907

Re: "Quality of life"

My favorite thing in the class was a religious sect called Ngoma in which only people who had survived a certain illness could become healers (and that was the only expertise you needed). I think for cancer, this might not be the best solution, but it could provide a lot of support for people with,...
by Clarity
Thu Aug 20, 2009 1:50 pm
Forum: Asexuality
Topic: Criticism of asexuality. Maybe there's something to them.
Replies: 17
Views: 8758

Re: Criticism of asexuality. Maybe there's something to them.

I wonder if maybe a lot of people in the 5-15 range who aren't "really asexual", who aren't obsessed with sex, but who would enjoy it, who would desire it, perhaps only in very specific circumstances, perhaps a lot of these people mislabel themselves as asexual because of comparing themse...
by Clarity
Wed Aug 19, 2009 11:16 am
Forum: Sexuality
Topic: Desire vs. Attraction
Replies: 21
Views: 9411

Re: Desire vs. Attraction

From the UBC Sexual Health website the survey takes you to: http://www.obstgyn.ca/SexualHealth/sexual_dysfunctions/arousal_disorders.php Many women have a difficult time differentiating sexual desire from sexual arousal and this suggests that the separation of these phenomena by researchers and clin...
by Clarity
Wed Aug 19, 2009 11:00 am
Forum: Sexuality
Topic: I'm not sure I believe in sexual attraction anymore
Replies: 17
Views: 8251

Re: I'm not sure I believe in sexual attraction anymore

I didn't read all the above discussion once we started arguing research methodology, but it seems to me that the strongest reason for using surveys is the sort of information we want: 1. We're trying to develop conceptual models of asexuality by seeing what makes people identify as asexual. 2. That ...
by Clarity
Wed Aug 19, 2009 8:58 am
Forum: Introductions
Topic: Hello!
Replies: 20
Views: 3900

Hello!

Hi, my name is Adair, I'm 18 years old, and I've been in love with the asexuality movement for two or three years now. Unfortunately, it took me this long to admit it to myself, to realize that it appealed to me far more than my old relationship with another sexual orientation, so I'm just now tryin...