Search found 47 matches

by apsaf
Sat Mar 10, 2018 12:43 am
Forum: Asexuality
Topic: So have I been bullshitting my sexuality all these years?
Replies: 7
Views: 2466

Re: So have I been bullshitting my sexuality all these years?

I think that the current trend of subdividing sexual identities into a hundred different micro-identities will ultimately do more harm than good. I like to use broad, all-encompassing identities, so if someone says they are asexual then that's enough for me. I don't care if they fall into a fringe ...
by apsaf
Tue Mar 06, 2018 10:16 pm
Forum: Introductions
Topic: Re-Introduction!
Replies: 4
Views: 1030

Re: Re-Introduction!

Hello, AVEN also seemed overwhelming to me though I don't remember facing much drama... but then again, I didn't post much either. I'm BKAce there. Welcome to Apositive. As CatBunny said, it's not very active here but hopefully, that won't lead to shutting it down.
by apsaf
Fri Feb 23, 2018 8:42 am
Forum: Introductions
Topic: Hi hi!
Replies: 1
Views: 756

Re: Hi hi!

Hello and welcome. This place is much quieter than AVEN but I found the conversations very informative here. I'm 40 and found out about asexuality about 10 years ago (I'm BKAce on AVEN). I can relate somewhat to that awkward feeling of having to explain something that seems contradictory in the envi...
by apsaf
Mon Jan 29, 2018 11:20 pm
Forum: Introductions
Topic: Just a doctor researcher
Replies: 3
Views: 1232

Re: Just a doctor researcher

Hello seaserpent, I'm BKAce on AVEN but I don't post there much (nor here for that matter, but for different reasons: over there I feel overwhelmed by the crowds, opinions, labels, etc. over here, I feel I'm amongst such highly educated and knowledgeable people that I enjoy reading their input and r...
by apsaf
Sun Jan 21, 2018 10:03 am
Forum: Introductions
Topic: Hello - I'm no longer lurking!
Replies: 14
Views: 4119

Re: Hello - I'm no longer lurking!

Hey KAGU143! *hugs back* I seriously cannot believe it's been that long! Well, I discovered the term "asexuality" around 2008, I'm 40 now. I think I've become more cynical, skeptic or maybe pessimistic overall. I don't know if it's age or the general direction "progress" has take...
by apsaf
Sat Jan 20, 2018 3:27 am
Forum: Introductions
Topic: Hello - I'm no longer lurking!
Replies: 14
Views: 4119

Re: Hello - I'm no longer lurking!

Hi AFP! Wow, I hadn't received a notification from this site in ages! Thank you for coming back and bringing me back with you :) Same for me; a lot has changed in my life but a lot is also the same. It would be too bad for this place to go. I've always liked it even if I didn't post much. I can't be...
by apsaf
Wed Nov 27, 2013 5:36 am
Forum: Relationships
Topic: The concept of squish
Replies: 45
Views: 31150

Re: The concept of squish

I've yet to have anyone say to me you are broken let alone solely on the basis of being asexual. I guess it depends on each person's experience and social environment. Even though most people aren't familiar with the term itself, I've been constantly told I was broken and needed help (even or mostl...
by apsaf
Sun Feb 12, 2012 10:42 am
Forum: Asexuality
Topic: Recently discovering who I am
Replies: 6
Views: 2881

Re: Recently discovering who I am

I totally relate to your experience but like KAGU143, I finally crossed the "pressure age." People are either convinced that this IS who I am or think it's too late to save me now :) My life has totally changed since discovering that asexuality exists and now I'm really experiencing the li...
by apsaf
Sun Nov 20, 2011 11:33 am
Forum: Asexuality
Topic: Common occurance amongst asexuals.
Replies: 19
Views: 9437

Re: Common occurance amongst asexuals.

Never heard the term gender dysphoria before and when I read about it just now, I think I might be categorized as having it! gender roles are purely an outmoded social construct I don't think I have trouble accepting my biological gender. However, I totally believe that gender roles are a useless, c...
by apsaf
Wed Nov 16, 2011 1:54 pm
Forum: Asexuality
Topic: Are David Jay and the activists doing more harm than good?
Replies: 36
Views: 13112

Re: Are David Jay and the activists doing more harm than good?

OMG, that was a WALL o' text ! *collapses* And I enjoyed reading and agree to every bit of it! Thank you for expressing what I never could so eloquently :) I consider myself an activist but not specifically for asexuality and I can't separate my causes in different compartments; somehow they're all...
by apsaf
Wed Nov 02, 2011 10:44 pm
Forum: Asexuality
Topic: The relationship between asexuality and LGBT activism
Replies: 29
Views: 13882

Re: The relationship between asexuality and LGBT activism

Since I don't live in the US, I thought I'd tell about my own experience with the "LGBT" community here. The "queer" label fits me well as the organization I joined considers itself a group of "queer activists" instead of the standard LGBT movement and they do not seek ...
by apsaf
Sun May 29, 2011 10:12 am
Forum: Introductions
Topic: Hi
Replies: 7
Views: 2021

Re: Hi

That was my first reaction when I found out too! It's true, it's the biggest relief to find out you're not alone and that you can stop waiting to change or trying to fix yourself and just enjoy a normal life. Welcome!
by apsaf
Mon May 09, 2011 8:00 am
Forum: Introductions
Topic: A way too long introduction :)
Replies: 8
Views: 3091

Re: A way too long introduction :)

I don't really have anything new to add but I read LadyAmandaJane's post a few times and I don't get why everybody so far is considering it harsh. Although I'm cisgender, I relate a lot to what she said about genders (and thank you for the book reference). In my opinion, all she did what clarify som...
by apsaf
Fri May 06, 2011 10:02 am
Forum: Asexuality
Topic: asexuality and benign illness
Replies: 3
Views: 2153

Re: asexuality and benign illness

I know that my cold has made me give up smoking for the time being! I gave up smoking 8 years ago 'thanks' to a nasty cold. :) I don't think illness makes people asexual, when people are ill, sex might make them uncomfortable (or make their partners uncomfortable if it's contagious!). They might al...
by apsaf
Fri Feb 11, 2011 11:30 pm
Forum: Asexuality
Topic: Asexuality Research- please participate!
Replies: 4
Views: 2492

Re: Asexuality Research- please participate!

Well I participated in it and, Dargon, based on the questions, I say anyone can participate in it... except for aromantics :( It focuses on sex and romantic relationships. Some of my replies weren't accurate because of that. But it does mention sexual identification and whether it had ever changed. ...
by apsaf
Sun Feb 06, 2011 12:21 pm
Forum: Asexuality
Topic: treatment of minorities
Replies: 23
Views: 10552

Re: treatment of minorities

Any other definition of "minority" is self-serving hype created by feminists when they realized, much to their embarrassment, that women are actually the majority at 53% of the world's population. "Oops," they thought, "we can no longer ride the coattails of minorities in o...
by apsaf
Mon Jan 31, 2011 11:49 am
Forum: Asexuality
Topic: the other kind of loneliness
Replies: 9
Views: 3620

Re: the other kind of loneliness

I rarely feel lonely, I love solitude and don't get to enjoy it as much as I'd like to due my hectic schedule. But sometimes, I feel what I call "alienation" where I get frustrated that no one, not even my closest friends, share my ideas or feelings (not even some of them!) even though the...
by apsaf
Fri Jan 28, 2011 11:35 am
Forum: Asexuality
Topic: Survey finds 3rd of young Japanese men not interested in sex
Replies: 6
Views: 4766

Re: Survey finds 3rd of young Japanese men not interested in sex

disjointed, I see it as far more selfish to have children than not to have any. The decision to have a child is not made for the child's sake because the child doesn't exist yet. It is also not made with the child's well-being in mind, for the same reason. Most people have children for various self...
by apsaf
Fri Jan 14, 2011 1:33 pm
Forum: Asexuality
Topic: the invisible ace
Replies: 10
Views: 3573

Re: the invisible ace

Apsaf, that sounds like some pretty dull conversation. Is it possible to find people to talk to who are more interested in discussing Plato, macroeconomics, glissando on the cello, or ANYTHING other than what you've listed? In your situation I'd even settle for discussing the biography of Elvis Pre...
by apsaf
Fri Jan 14, 2011 12:38 pm
Forum: Asexuality
Topic: the invisible ace
Replies: 10
Views: 3573

Re: the invisible ace

I like what SlightlyMetaphysical said and I agree. After discovering asexuality, somehow I feel more confident expressing my opinions. The word asexuality itself doesn't come up, but in my society, marriage and kids are a priority (and I'm aromantic). So, whenever I'm attending a social event or a f...
by apsaf
Wed Jan 05, 2011 12:12 pm
Forum: Asexuality
Topic: the touchy-feely thread
Replies: 11
Views: 4416

Re: the touchy-feely thread

I never liked having people in my face and I still don't. For some reason, it has always seemed very threatening to me and it creeps me out and makes me defensive - even when I don't want to feel that way. Sitting side by side is fine, though - no problem at all, especially with people I know. I wi...
by apsaf
Mon Nov 22, 2010 11:58 am
Forum: Asexuality
Topic: Asexual relationship energy and communities
Replies: 20
Views: 9575

Re: Asexual relationship energy and communities

I used to be a huge fan of the original UK Queer As Folk actually :) I still get a lot of pleasure from marathoning the entire series every so often. That's amazing! I'm addicted to the US version, mainly because of the character Brian Kinney. I used to think that TV characters have no bearing on p...
by apsaf
Sun Nov 21, 2010 3:43 pm
Forum: Asexuality
Topic: Asexual relationship energy and communities
Replies: 20
Views: 9575

Re: Asexual relationship energy and communities

I also get more and more intimidated the larger a community is and the more in jokes and culture it has. Although I've more recently done considerably better with fandom, creativity and fan creativity related communities. That's one of the reasons I felt I belonged much more to the Queer as Folk fa...
by apsaf
Sun Nov 21, 2010 12:45 pm
Forum: Asexuality
Topic: Asexual relationship energy and communities
Replies: 20
Views: 9575

Re: Asexual relationship energy and communities

As someone who identifies as aromantic, polygamy (before I found out about asexuality and polyamoury) has always made more sense to me than monogamous marriage and relationships (marriage doesn't make any sense to me whatsoever, actually). As for the excitement and energy put into relationships and ...
by apsaf
Fri Jan 29, 2010 5:47 am
Forum: Introductions
Topic: A Hello, A Thank You, and a Little About Myself
Replies: 6
Views: 1767

Re: A Hello, A Thank You, and a Little About Myself

Hi Chris, I think I'm like you in many ways. I don't think I fit in anywhere regarding attraction based on sex or gender. I do see beauty in people of different sexes and genders, but I've never felt sexually or romantically attracted to them. So, I guess I don't know either. The most amazing thing ...
by apsaf
Tue Jan 19, 2010 6:20 am
Forum: Introductions
Topic: pleasure to make your acquaintance
Replies: 7
Views: 7348

Re: pleasure to make your acquaintance

Hi Fangirl. I had no idea about "intersectional feminism." I mean I know that non-Caucasian women slip through the cracks when it comes to equal rights because of the double discrimination against them but I didn't know that the concept had a name. I've avoided joining any feminist groups ...
by apsaf
Thu Dec 31, 2009 10:12 am
Forum: Introductions
Topic: Hello
Replies: 5
Views: 1560

Re: Hello

Welcome to Apositive, apsaf. I agree that a certain amount of silliness can be a good thing as long as it doesn't get out of hand. (There are some plans to dedicate a small area of Apositive to a more socially-oriented format but that is still pending.) In the meantime, kick back and relax! -Greybi...
by apsaf
Thu Dec 31, 2009 10:05 am
Forum: Asexuality
Topic: What do *you* think causes Asexuality?
Replies: 13
Views: 6961

Re: What do *you* think causes Asexuality?

This reminded me of a thread I read on another forum where lesbians were telling, jokingly, what caused them to "become" lesbians. Reading that, I realized that if orientations had causes, I should've ended up a lesbian as well... instead, I just turned out to be a feminist. Somehow, I did...
by apsaf
Tue Dec 29, 2009 8:13 am
Forum: Introductions
Topic: Hello
Replies: 5
Views: 1560

Re: Hello

Hello, yes, I've recognized you. Even though this place is less active than AVEN, I like it better so far. I don't mind being silly and having fun sometimes... I enjoy an environment where there's balance in everything. But fun and immaturity are 2 different things. I sense a lot of immaturity there...
by apsaf
Tue Nov 24, 2009 12:32 pm
Forum: Community & Public Visibility
Topic: Meeting to talk with my employer about Asexuality
Replies: 2
Views: 2139

Re: Meeting to talk with my employer about Asexuality

AFlyingPiglet, I've just read your summary about the meeting on AVEN and I thought I'd congratulate you here (no other reason than to keep this site alive :D). I'm BKAce on AVEN, by the way. The efforts you made and the success you achieved are very inspirational and hopefully, many asexuals (me inc...