Search found 72 matches

by Mr. Paradox
Mon Feb 25, 2008 12:19 pm
Forum: Sexuality
Topic: Who's got the power?
Replies: 29
Views: 8245

Re: Who's got the power?

I'm going into this without any romantic or sexual experience, so it's really incredibly difficult for me to verbalize how I'm feeling and what I want and I can't initiate. I'm trying to express that it'd be easier for me for him to initiate and let me say "yes" or "no" to thing...
by Mr. Paradox
Wed Feb 20, 2008 4:26 pm
Forum: Asexuality
Topic: sexual asexuals?
Replies: 18
Views: 9444

Re: sexual asexuals?

Pan-Platonic?
by Mr. Paradox
Tue Feb 19, 2008 12:37 pm
Forum: Sexuality
Topic: Reasons other than sexual attraction that people have sex
Replies: 16
Views: 33647

Re: Reasons other than sexual attraction that people have sex

That seems a bit harsh. Just because people are connecting with others through coitus doesn't mean anyone's forgotten there are other ways. It doesn't mean they're failing, either. I think the point here is that sex is as meaningful as we make it, and as a means of deepening a personal connection it...
by Mr. Paradox
Sun Feb 17, 2008 4:10 pm
Forum: Asexuality
Topic: sexual asexuals?
Replies: 18
Views: 9444

Re: sexual asexuals?

That is one way of looking at it, but don't drive yourself too crazy. Tracing the etymology back to classical roots seems to be missing the point. The only real "etymology" applicable to our usage of the word is that David Jay and others requisitioned it as an analogous term to mirror hete...
by Mr. Paradox
Sat Feb 16, 2008 3:47 pm
Forum: Relationships
Topic: Asex as safe word
Replies: 11
Views: 3927

Re: Asex as safe word

Previously when I had male friends who "liked" me, all that I understood in a blurry kind of way was that they liked me in a way that I didn't like them. Well said. I think this gets to the heart of quite a lot. So many of us assume that this imbalance is insurmountable, including me. Eve...
by Mr. Paradox
Fri Feb 15, 2008 4:36 pm
Forum: General Discussions and Fun
Topic: Who are you?
Replies: 94
Views: 27042

Re: Who are you?

Oh joy! In case you haven't heard it enough on AVEN, you're kind of really awesome.
by Mr. Paradox
Fri Feb 15, 2008 4:29 pm
Forum: Sexuality
Topic: Reasons other than sexual attraction that people have sex
Replies: 16
Views: 33647

Re: Reasons other than sexual attraction that people have sex

*applause* Thank you for posting that. Wow, talk about bringing in some perspective. One can see the whole range of human experience reflected in there: love, hate, greed, adventure, hunger, reputation, guilt, rebellion, spirituality, rites of passage, empathy, sorrow, everything. It's a great remin...
by Mr. Paradox
Fri Feb 15, 2008 4:17 pm
Forum: Asexuality
Topic: ooh, somebody noticed
Replies: 10
Views: 3589

ooh, somebody noticed

I was looking at the referral stats the Admin posted and noticed that a really cool blogger has seen what we're up to: Figleaf's Real Adult Sex He has kind words for us-- particularly Omnes! He looks like the kind of supporter we could certainly do with more of. As many commentators before, he concl...
by Mr. Paradox
Fri Feb 15, 2008 1:32 pm
Forum: Sexuality
Topic: Dissasociative Identity Disorder and Sexuality
Replies: 6
Views: 3396

Re: Dissasociative Identity Disorder and Sexuality

I'm always a bit fascinated, and strangely unnerved, by this. It just... breaks our rules, y'know? I have deep respect for such people who learn to live with all of their personalities. I'm not sure what there is to say about this with regards to sexuality except... it does complicate matters, doesn...
by Mr. Paradox
Fri Feb 15, 2008 1:17 pm
Forum: Relationships
Topic: Asex as safe word
Replies: 11
Views: 3927

Re: Asex as safe word

I know where you're coming from. I ruled out the possibility of ever having any sort of "partner," and most certainly of marriage, very early on because I couldn't disentangle any of that from the sexual elements I was avoiding. Now that I have... I'm married. It's very unlikely that I wou...
by Mr. Paradox
Fri Feb 15, 2008 12:52 pm
Forum: Asexuality
Topic: I'm A and that's OK!
Replies: 22
Views: 6163

Re: I'm A and that's OK!

It took me a while to realise that everyone else wasn't just joking around and enjoying the liberating bawdiness of adolescence, as I was. I guess I thought it was like singing songs about blowing up teachers: good naughty fun, but nobody actually wanted to do it . Then one day, BAM, blowjobs everyw...
by Mr. Paradox
Wed Feb 06, 2008 3:00 am
Forum: Asexuality
Topic: Poston and Baumle 2005
Replies: 20
Views: 7419

Re: Poston and Baumle 2005

If we modify "essentialist" to omit the seemingly metaphysical concept of an "asexual nature" with a psychological reality of the subjective experience of "little or no sexual attraction" and abandon any attempt to fit everyone neatly into an asexual/sexual binary, the...
by Mr. Paradox
Tue Feb 05, 2008 6:29 pm
Forum: Asexuality
Topic: Poston and Baumle 2005
Replies: 20
Views: 7419

Re: Poston and Baumle 2005

If we were employing an essentialist definition, we would say that a person is only asexual if they meet X, Y, and Z criteria coinciding with an unchangeable asexual nature which existed before we had the words to describe it. This nature could be genetic, behavioural, hormonal, psychological, spiri...
by Mr. Paradox
Tue Feb 05, 2008 1:49 pm
Forum: Asexuality
Topic: What is hypo?
Replies: 17
Views: 4837

Re: What is hypo?

Yeah, it's pretty much exactly like your comment on grey-A. I realised that after the fact. If it weren't for elitism, people wouldn't feel the need to come up with terms like these.
by Mr. Paradox
Tue Feb 05, 2008 3:41 am
Forum: Asexuality
Topic: What is hypo?
Replies: 17
Views: 4837

Re: What is hypo?

Hahaha. Okay, I see the general point. I was just noticing a bunch of "see: hypoactive sexual desire" entries under hyposexual and "also known as hyposexuality" notes on pages about HSDD. The two seem to be linked in a lot of sources, if not the DSM-IV. At any rate, I'm not terri...
by Mr. Paradox
Mon Feb 04, 2008 3:56 pm
Forum: Asexuality
Topic: What is hypo?
Replies: 17
Views: 4837

Re: What is hypo?

Did you look up hypoactive sexual desire or inhibited sexual desire? ISD seems to be on the rise as the preferred term.
by Mr. Paradox
Mon Feb 04, 2008 3:54 pm
Forum: Asexuality
Topic: Poston and Baumle 2005
Replies: 20
Views: 7419

Re: Poston and Baumle 2005

Actually, I thought the essentialist vs. social constructivist distinction was one point well made. While the essentialist position as they told it was a bit flimsy, we shouldn't fail to notice that this is the position a great number of us AVENites take . Namely, that we have within us an innate es...
by Mr. Paradox
Mon Feb 04, 2008 3:37 pm
Forum: Asexuality
Topic: What is hypo?
Replies: 17
Views: 4837

What is hypo?

Speaking of unhelpful labels, it's just as bad when the people using the labels think they know what they mean, but don't. For example, I don't believe "hyposexuality" (ie, hypoactive sexual desire disorder or inhibited sexual desire) has ever been used on AVEN in its recognised medical se...
by Mr. Paradox
Mon Feb 04, 2008 11:19 am
Forum: Asexuality
Topic: Poston and Baumle 2005
Replies: 20
Views: 7419

Re: Poston and Baumle 2005

Yeah, I was really into it up until they presented the NSFG. It wasn't their fault that the survey was so spotty, but they shouldn't have wasted their time analysing it, and they definitely shouldn't have presented conclusions like, "asexuals are more likely to _______" based on it. They c...
by Mr. Paradox
Mon Feb 04, 2008 10:47 am
Forum: Asexuality
Topic: Poston and Baumle 2005
Replies: 20
Views: 7419

Poston and Baumle 2005

Thanks to the Admin for finding this reference, and the pretzelboy for getting a copy out of the author. http://www.apositive.org/forum/viewtopic.php?p=1012#p1012 This was presented at a major sociological conference in 2005 but hasn't yet been published. This may be because it's kind of crap. I dig...
by Mr. Paradox
Thu Jan 31, 2008 12:51 pm
Forum: General Discussions and Fun
Topic: Labeling: Descriptive vs Prescriptive
Replies: 31
Views: 11685

Re: Labeling: Descriptive vs Prescriptive

That's funny, I can see this same sort of integration of personas in myself as well. One could consider it maturity. On the other hand, people often talk about growing up as a process of learning to wear more masks. Maybe I'm not doing it right.
by Mr. Paradox
Thu Jan 31, 2008 3:17 am
Forum: Asexuality
Topic: The Storms model
Replies: 33
Views: 28323

Re: The Storms model

I'd love to see you write a blog post on Kinsey and us, Omnes. I find it interesting that as revered as Kinsey is now, his own definitions kind of got left by the wayside. The orientation-minded sexual revolution took his data and ran with it. His only holdouts today are the "everyone's really ...
by Mr. Paradox
Wed Jan 30, 2008 12:24 pm
Forum: Sexuality
Topic: Why not have sex?
Replies: 25
Views: 8250

Re: Why not have sex?

I'd agree with that. Visibility is all we've ever expected out of the media, and to their credit they've delivered like nobody else can. Does that mean, though, that we should leave things in black and white for them, with clean-cut spokespersons whose behaviour matches their attraction, and save th...
by Mr. Paradox
Wed Jan 30, 2008 12:04 pm
Forum: Blog Post Discussion
Topic: We bloggin' (and I hope you like bloggin' too...)
Replies: 4
Views: 4521

We bloggin' (and I hope you like bloggin' too...)

Now that we have a hearty crop of threads sprouting up, I hope we can start harvesting some good blog material. If there's a discussion that's really come to fruition and you'd like to write it up, as it were, into a nice packaged article for the front page blog, please do so and post it here. If yo...
by Mr. Paradox
Wed Jan 30, 2008 11:30 am
Forum: Sexuality
Topic: Why not have sex?
Replies: 25
Views: 8250

Re: Why not have sex?

Thanks for your great answers, everyone. I think the drinking and drugs analogies are excellent ones -- I'm in the same boat with those, too. In my case I think what it probably boils down to is, I'm not closedminded, I'm just principled. I tend to stick to my guns, and if I have no desire to do som...
by Mr. Paradox
Tue Jan 29, 2008 4:52 pm
Forum: Sexuality
Topic: Why not have sex?
Replies: 25
Views: 8250

Why not have sex?

I'm suddenly starting to feel like I've dug myself into a bit of a hole. I've been throwing my wholehearted, honest support behind all of this talk about differentiating attraction from behaviour and accepting the idea that it makes perfect sense for asexuals to engage in sexual activity because the...
by Mr. Paradox
Tue Jan 29, 2008 2:44 pm
Forum: General Discussions and Fun
Topic: Labeling: Descriptive vs Prescriptive
Replies: 31
Views: 11685

Re: Labeling: Descriptive vs Prescriptive

I guess we could be all Web 2.0 and say these are tags rather than tree structures.
by Mr. Paradox
Sun Jan 27, 2008 1:17 pm
Forum: General Discussions and Fun
Topic: It's All About Us
Replies: 18
Views: 6824

Re: It's All About Us

Some of us have been coming up with those and passing them to the admin. If you have any clever ideas to add to the mix, you can post them in this thread:

viewtopic.php?f=7&t=38
by Mr. Paradox
Sun Jan 27, 2008 1:54 am
Forum: Asexuality
Topic: The Storms model
Replies: 33
Views: 28323

Re: The Storms model

pretzelboy, don't get too confused by that article. It's one of a series of intentionally controversial and scientifically shaky studies by Gerulf Rieger, who's known for things like trying to prove that mtf transsexuals are "really" male and just confused gay men. He's got an agenda and v...
by Mr. Paradox
Sun Jan 27, 2008 1:41 am
Forum: General Discussions and Fun
Topic: Who are you?
Replies: 94
Views: 27042

Re: Who are you?

Hi Jeremy!

Hi Dargon!

This is gonna be awesome.