Search found 18 matches

by Dame du Lac
Sat Jul 12, 2008 2:35 pm
Forum: Sexuality
Topic: Painful Sex (Warning: frank talk about female parts ahead!)
Replies: 4
Views: 2374

Re: Painful Sex (Warning: frank talk about female parts ahead!)

Sorry! I asked a question and then didn't come back. Thank you for your explanation. As someone who does pilates at a basic level I can say that although its difficult to isolate some of the muscles, once you do so you certainly notice the difference. No wonder sex has been such a painful experience...
by Dame du Lac
Sun Jun 22, 2008 3:07 pm
Forum: Sexuality
Topic: Painful Sex (Warning: frank talk about female parts ahead!)
Replies: 4
Views: 2374

Re: Painful Sex (Warning: frank talk about female parts ahead!)

Thanks for post this CierraJo; its always helpful to have new knowledge. I had heard of vestibulitis before but don't know what it is. Never heard of Levator Ani Syndrome at all. And I was an avid reader of mags like Cosmopolitan for years and have read a lot about health issues. Would you mind expl...
by Dame du Lac
Fri May 30, 2008 2:39 pm
Forum: Sexuality
Topic: What is sex?
Replies: 18
Views: 7374

Re: What is sex?

I do tend to think sex requires more than one person, and that it depends on the participants' interpretation of what's going on. I would agree with sex requiring more than one person. I think that in society at large if you suggested that solo masturbation was sex in the same way that acts involvi...
by Dame du Lac
Mon May 26, 2008 12:46 pm
Forum: Blog Post Discussion
Topic: It's not about the act
Replies: 13
Views: 29547

Re: It's not about the act: the blog post

I think its a really though provoking piece. It gives a good idea of how an asexual thinks in relationships and how sexual people are perceived by asexuals who recognise that sexuality is more than just the sex. Plus it reminds me why I am on the borders of asexuality and sexuality so will say somet...
by Dame du Lac
Mon May 26, 2008 12:17 pm
Forum: Sexuality
Topic: What is sex?
Replies: 18
Views: 7374

Re: What is sex?

I would say that once activity goes below the neckline or above the knees (i.e. touching breasts, stroking the inner thighs) with the intention of causing sexual arousal that is sexual activity. In my mind it becomes sex once you get into direct genital contact. So, the "dry humping" that ...
by Dame du Lac
Thu May 22, 2008 1:50 pm
Forum: Asexuality
Topic: Legitimacy and Blurry Lines
Replies: 34
Views: 29657

Re: Legitimacy and Blurry Lines

I think this issue of people having other issues that they are using the label of asexuality to hide behind is one that needs addressing. There are certainly people on AVEN who have issues that dwarf their lack of sexual attraction and I've noticed a few people who almost certainly do experience sex...
by Dame du Lac
Wed Apr 16, 2008 2:48 pm
Forum: Sexuality
Topic: Romantic attraction?
Replies: 31
Views: 14282

Re: Romantic attraction?

I should probably point out for those of you who no longer visit AVEN that I'm the person who started the threads on aromantics in relationships and what constitutes "romantic" that Placebo is referring to. Like Dargon I have had crushes on people that were romantic in nature although I wa...
by Dame du Lac
Thu Mar 27, 2008 2:30 pm
Forum: Asexuality
Topic: How active is your (imaginary) sex life?
Replies: 15
Views: 6624

Re: How active is your (imaginary) sex life?

Imaginary sex life (barring those couple of blips) = real sex life = nothing Imaginary asexy physical closeness life (cuddle life?), however, is unfortunately infinitely more active than in real life ... Oh so true. I've had vaguely sexual dreams. My first one was when I was eleven (and in the thro...
by Dame du Lac
Mon Feb 18, 2008 2:56 pm
Forum: Relationships
Topic: Reactions to loss...
Replies: 19
Views: 7958

Re: Reactions to loss...

Having had unrequited crushes when younger I can only guess at how bad it must feel to have hope of a relationship so close then cruelly dashed. *Hugs* for you.
by Dame du Lac
Mon Feb 18, 2008 2:34 pm
Forum: Sexuality
Topic: Reasons other than sexual attraction that people have sex
Replies: 16
Views: 34070

Re: Reasons other than sexual attraction that people have sex

I echo Mr Paradox in thanking you for posting this Olivier; it really is amazing the sheer range of reasons why people have sex. Shall I start the suggestions for an asexuals top twenty? (Obviously, all personal reasons - not meant to be representative of all asexuals.) In no particular order: 1. cu...
by Dame du Lac
Mon Feb 18, 2008 2:04 pm
Forum: Sexuality
Topic: Dissasociative Identity Disorder and Sexuality
Replies: 6
Views: 3589

Re: Dissasociative Identity Disorder and Sexuality

I recently brought Rita Carter’s Multiplicity which argues that our personalities are not made up of a ‘single self’ but of a ‘group of personalities held together by shared memories… a brilliant trick of the mind that helps us to cope in a fast-moving world, our ability to shift viewpoint and behav...
by Dame du Lac
Thu Feb 07, 2008 2:49 pm
Forum: Sexuality
Topic: Why not have sex?
Replies: 25
Views: 8730

Re: Why not have sex?

Having said that, I personally do identify very much as sex-positive, and this is rather important to me. (This is just MY PERSONAL take and in no way implies that others should do the same.) For me, being sex-positive is mostly political and ideological. I believe we live in an extremely sex-negat...
by Dame du Lac
Mon Feb 04, 2008 12:47 pm
Forum: General Discussions and Fun
Topic: The rest of your identity
Replies: 90
Views: 34232

Re: The rest of your identity

Well, I used to be an ardent atheist between the ages of 11 and 14, but then I started believing in "something". Eventually, I became a Christian in belief, even though I never went to church. I could never really get to grips with some of "morals" that went along with mainstream...
by Dame du Lac
Mon Feb 04, 2008 11:30 am
Forum: Sexuality
Topic: Why not have sex?
Replies: 25
Views: 8730

Re: Why not have sex?

I would say that far from betraying a closed mind, you are living out what I believe we are trying to encourage on this site. i.e. you are fully accepting that sex is a natural and healthy thing to be involved in and that you have no problem with those who wish to have sex with others, regardless of...
by Dame du Lac
Sun Feb 03, 2008 11:09 am
Forum: Asexuality
Topic: beyond 101: explaining nuance to the media and others
Replies: 11
Views: 7413

Re: beyond 101: explaining nuance to the media and others

I suppose in order to get it across in the media we probably need to look at getting a printed feature, rather than tv coverage, in one of the Sunday supplements of the quality newspapers or something similarly "high-brow". The alternative may be to generate interest by publishing a book c...
by Dame du Lac
Sun Feb 03, 2008 10:36 am
Forum: General Discussions and Fun
Topic: The rest of your identity
Replies: 90
Views: 34232

Re: The rest of your identity

Well, I'm a sceptical, atheist Christian, which I suppose has become a big part of how I see myself. I'm a fairly prolific reader, and I've recently started learning to Salsa (as I have two left feet its going fairly slowly). I'm starting to see myself as a long-term part of my local community, some...
by Dame du Lac
Wed Jan 30, 2008 3:16 pm
Forum: General Discussions and Fun
Topic: Who are you?
Replies: 94
Views: 28316

Re: Who are you?

Well, I'm Dame du Lac on AVEN (you'd never have guessed would you? ;) ). I think its going to be easier to discuss some things here, like the concept of sexuality in itself, and where the borders lie between behavior and orientation etc, than on AVEN, because as Dargon says, the people who make that...
by Dame du Lac
Sat Jan 26, 2008 6:27 pm
Forum: Asexuality
Topic: Textbook asexuals
Replies: 3
Views: 2048

Re: Textbook asexuals

You can get it new on Amazon but its £34.99 and there's only one copy left. Or you can get it second-hand for £31+ p&p. If I remember tomorrow I'll have a look around some second-hand bookshops.