Search found 234 matches

by ily
Thu Dec 31, 2009 12:13 pm
Forum: Asexuality
Topic: "I hate being asexual and want to change"
Replies: 29
Views: 20487

Re: "I hate being asexual and want to change"

I think that if you're having sex solely for research purposes, you're probably asexual...
by ily
Sat Nov 28, 2009 3:13 pm
Forum: Introductions
Topic: Apositi- er... A-relatively-sure? Eh. That isn't the point.
Replies: 10
Views: 2498

Re: Apositi- er... A-relatively-sure? Eh. That isn't the point.

Welcome! I consider music to be the love of my life, as well. :)
by ily
Thu Nov 19, 2009 12:49 pm
Forum: Introductions
Topic: Yo.
Replies: 8
Views: 1865

Re: Yo.

Welcome! Your little clay things are too cute. Go forth and post!
by ily
Thu Nov 19, 2009 12:43 pm
Forum: Asexuality
Topic: "I hate being asexual and want to change"
Replies: 29
Views: 20487

Re: "I hate being asexual and want to change"

The best advice I've seen is that you could try taking things to increase your sex drive to see if that's the problem, maybe trial and error and baby steps to get to the point where you can have sex and might even enjoy it so you can act like a sexual person. I don't think I'd feel comfortable givi...
by ily
Tue Nov 17, 2009 2:16 pm
Forum: Sexuality
Topic: Lust
Replies: 12
Views: 5318

Re: Lust

So, I know I'm not a broken being, so I guess my next question is, should I be feeling lust for others? I sometimes get a feeling in my chest if I see a seriously attractive man or woman, but I am usually playfully amplifying my feelings, either because I'm with a group of people who are doing the ...
by ily
Mon Oct 19, 2009 12:09 pm
Forum: Introductions
Topic: Hai =^_^=
Replies: 4
Views: 1007

Re: Hai =^_^=

Welcome-- go forth and post! :)
by ily
Tue Oct 13, 2009 11:41 am
Forum: Announcements
Topic: Domain & Hosting Expiration: December 10th
Replies: 23
Views: 22064

Re: Domain & Hosting Expiration: December 10th

I would nominate Shockwave to be the lead person on this because he has the phpbb3 experience. I agree on the cooperative effort though, and would be glad to help. Maybe after the ownership changes hands, we can have a discussion about breaking up among us the things that need to be done.
by ily
Fri Oct 09, 2009 7:43 pm
Forum: Announcements
Topic: Domain & Hosting Expiration: December 10th
Replies: 23
Views: 22064

Re: Domain & Hosting Expiration: December 10th

Projecting from now, I'd have the time, and I could contribute to some portion of the costs. But, I have no website skills aside from the HTML I learned over 10 years ago. 8| I don't know if most of the time involves the website skills. If they're separate, then I could do any non-technical portions...
by ily
Thu Oct 08, 2009 11:15 am
Forum: Announcements
Topic: Domain & Hosting Expiration: December 10th
Replies: 23
Views: 22064

Re: Domain & Hosting Expiration: December 10th

Aww, that is too bad. Can you explain a little more what your role entails?
by ily
Wed Sep 30, 2009 6:25 pm
Forum: Introductions
Topic: Hello!
Replies: 5
Views: 1092

Re: Hello!

Welcome! I have gotten a few negative reactions, but most people are just a little surprised and then they get over it. :)
by ily
Tue Sep 29, 2009 10:58 am
Forum: Relationships
Topic: The concept of squish
Replies: 45
Views: 30896

Re: The concept of squish

Individual, I know you probably think you're telling us this "for our own good", but it comes across as rather mean. If intellectualizing isn't your bag, fine, but why are you coming here and telling us how to live our lives? You're making an awful lot of assumptions about people.
by ily
Mon Sep 21, 2009 1:33 pm
Forum: Relationships
Topic: The concept of squish
Replies: 45
Views: 30896

Re: The concept of squish

It seems as though they feel incomplete without a Romantic Partner. Although I fully respect their feelings and their experiences, I feel that, in many ways, I am living on a totally different planet to the one they are on. I totally understand what you're saying here. I have my hopelessly romantic...
by ily
Mon Sep 21, 2009 12:35 pm
Forum: Relationships
Topic: The concept of squish
Replies: 45
Views: 30896

Re: The concept of squish

Adding to my lack of understanding is the fact that I don't know how sexual people experiences crushes. Research time! I've heard my friends say they have a crush on someone, but I don't know what that means. For me, my crushes never compelled me to seek a relationship or sex, which is analogous to ...
by ily
Wed Sep 16, 2009 11:19 am
Forum: Relationships
Topic: The concept of squish
Replies: 45
Views: 30896

Re: The concept of squish

Perhaps it is simply inability to relate, but it sounds unnecessary and, to be blunt, outright stupid. Ha, I like your bluntness, probably because I agree. To me, "squish" defines the problem inherent in coining words online. Did whoever came up with "squish" try saying it aloud...
by ily
Tue Sep 15, 2009 11:27 am
Forum: Asexuality
Topic: reactionary politics and prescriptive asexuality
Replies: 24
Views: 10747

Re: reactionary politics and prescriptive asexuality

Yeah, that's the article I was talking about on Pg. 1 on this thread. That quote bothered me because who are "many asexuals" and who is the "they" of "they say"? It's not as if we got together and elected David to be the spokesman, but that's how the article makes it so...
by ily
Mon Sep 14, 2009 12:13 pm
Forum: Sexuality
Topic: A new theory of sexuality
Replies: 28
Views: 11928

Re: A new theory of sexuality

For someone who gets crushes on people, but very rarely, and these never go anywhere, or for someone who gets crushes on people, but these don't cause them to want to go out with those people, the question of being romantic vs. aromantic becomes very tricky. That's been my experience exactly. The p...
by ily
Mon Sep 14, 2009 11:49 am
Forum: Introductions
Topic: Just another alien, I guess
Replies: 12
Views: 3162

Re: Just another alien, I guess

Welcome! I'm glad you found us. :) I wrote 2 of the posts you mentioned, and it means a lot to me that they helped you feel some relief. I work really hard on that blog, so if it helps someone, that is fantastic to hear. I also like the conversation on Apositive more than on AVEN, although this site...
by ily
Sat Sep 12, 2009 9:30 pm
Forum: Sexuality
Topic: A new theory of sexuality
Replies: 28
Views: 11928

Re: A new theory of sexuality

I don't know if I'd agree that there's a crucial distinction between romantic and aromantic people. Am I an outlier because I can't figure out whether I'm romantic or aromantic, or do the existence of people like me show that maybe it's not a part of everyone's orientation? The only place where I've...
by ily
Fri Sep 04, 2009 2:30 pm
Forum: Introductions
Topic: Cathy's here
Replies: 4
Views: 1011

Re: Cathy's here

Heyy, it's Cathy! :dance: Welcome...
It tends to be pretty quiet here, so feel free to post away!
by ily
Thu Sep 03, 2009 4:57 pm
Forum: Asexuality
Topic: reactionary politics and prescriptive asexuality
Replies: 24
Views: 10747

Re: reactionary politics and prescriptive asexuality

"Extensive Kinsey studies show that 37 percent of American men have achieved orgasm with other men, yet only 4 percent identify as gay." I've heard that kind of stat before, but I think it shows how resistant people are to questioning their orientations. Same with the macho guys. If those ...
by ily
Thu Sep 03, 2009 11:48 am
Forum: Asexuality
Topic: reactionary politics and prescriptive asexuality
Replies: 24
Views: 10747

Re: reactionary politics and prescriptive asexuality

Did anyone here ever NOT wonder if they were a "real" asexual? I ask because it seems so pervasive, and yet I can't remember ever doing this. Once I "officially" accepted that I was asexual, I don't recall having any serious doubts about it, even though I am far from "the id...
by ily
Wed Sep 02, 2009 1:41 pm
Forum: Asexuality
Topic: Criticism of asexuality. Maybe there's something to them.
Replies: 17
Views: 10017

Re: Criticism of asexuality. Maybe there's something to them.

I think a lot of the alienation that asexual folk feel with respect to sexuality has to do with being different *in a way that is not understood*. People are different from other people in all sorts of ways. These don't all lead to alienation. This, but also the fact that asexual community is still...
by ily
Wed Sep 02, 2009 1:26 pm
Forum: Asexuality
Topic: reactionary politics and prescriptive asexuality
Replies: 24
Views: 10747

Re: reactionary politics and prescriptive asexuality

Great manifesto! :D I love it. I agree that our increased media exposure has created a dilemma that I'm not sure how to solve. If asexuality remains unknown to most people, than most asexuals will invariably live their lives without knowing that there is a community of people like them, perhaps alwa...
by ily
Tue Sep 01, 2009 11:30 am
Forum: Asexuality
Topic: "I hate being asexual and want to change"
Replies: 29
Views: 20487

Re: "I hate being asexual and want to change"

Correct me if I'm wrong, but in the case of transpeople, don't they feel like they're not their real sex or gender? So it might not be so much the issue of them hating their gender, but that they feel they're really some other gender that they are currently unable to express. I don't think asexuals ...
by ily
Mon Aug 31, 2009 2:24 pm
Forum: Sexuality
Topic: Pre-asexuality views on sex?
Replies: 38
Views: 23307

Re: Pre-asexuality views on sex?

It's funny, because our culture's obsession with sexual behavior (vs orientation) is what led me to question my sexuality. I thought I couldn't be heterosexual because I never "acted" on it, however I had never acted on anything homosexual either. When I looked behind the reasons why I was...
by ily
Mon Aug 10, 2009 11:30 am
Forum: Sexuality
Topic: Desire vs. Attraction
Replies: 21
Views: 10904

Re: Desire vs. Attraction

Dargon wrote:Desire -> I wanna do it.
Attraction -> I wanna do it with that person.

Simplest way I can think to say it.


That's what I was thinking. So is "desire" any different from sex drive or libido?
by ily
Sun Aug 09, 2009 7:34 pm
Forum: Sexuality
Topic: Desire vs. Attraction
Replies: 21
Views: 10904

Desire vs. Attraction

I just took Laurie Brotto's survey on defining asexuality. She asked "What is sexual attraction?" and then "What is sexual desire?" I was all..."Huh...? :think:" I could define attraction, but I had no idea how to define desire differently. It had never occurred to me t...
by ily
Tue Aug 04, 2009 11:50 am
Forum: Asexuality
Topic: "I hate being asexual and want to change"
Replies: 29
Views: 20487

Re: "I hate being asexual and want to change"

I definitely get that. When I first realized I was asexual, I wasn't happy about it, either. I think one thing that it's important to convey is that unhappiness about being asexual doesn't make you any less asexual. Like, you don't go from having an orientation to having a disorder just because you'...
by ily
Wed Jul 29, 2009 2:54 pm
Forum: Asexuality
Topic: "Quality of life"
Replies: 21
Views: 10189

Re: "Quality of life"

I took a class on African religions once, and it was interesting because here are some cultures that traditionally, did not use the medical model at all. Like, if you did have liver cancer, that was not a disorder, but a curse upon you. So the cure for it might have been religious action. That may n...
by ily
Tue Jul 28, 2009 2:55 pm
Forum: Introductions
Topic: Hello all
Replies: 3
Views: 774

Re: Hello all

Welcome! Don't worry, it hasn't been very long since April...took me a lot longer to fully accept being asexual, but it happened eventually.