So have I been bullshitting my sexuality all these years?

For discussion of general issues pertaining to asexuality.
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CatBunny
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So have I been bullshitting my sexuality all these years?

Postby CatBunny » 13 Dec 2016, 08:28

I've been having hormone problem for years and my doctors basically never told what I have. I don't have low hormones just too much androgen. Now I got a new doctor telling me I either have PCOS or a congenital androgen disorder. Maybe it's a possible congenital defect that makes me think I'm asexual? I mean from what I read the congenital disorder apparently causes intersex/trans conditions and affects sexual orientation to some people. I mean I've been on female hormone replacers for a whole year and I'm still not sexually or romantically attracted to anyone. I haven't been diagnosed yet but I'm right now confused. Is it worth the worry? I mean if it is true it's implied it's from birth, like being intersex so I dunno. I do have a sex drive and i'm not infertile so it's not like i'm confusing a low libido for this.
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KAGU143
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Re: So have I been bullshitting my sexuality all these years?

Postby KAGU143 » 13 Dec 2016, 17:05

I would say that it's not worth the worry, but then you might feel otherwise. The main thing (to me) would be to make sure that there aren't any potential health issues associated with it, and if there are then to beware of them and take preventative measures if possible.

As for whether or not you're asexual, or what your exact orientation might be? Nobody can say for sure except you.
I know that what I'm going to say will be blasphemy to some, but I believe that in some cases asexuality is NOT a lifelong condition, and/or it can be perfectly valid and real even if it IS caused by some other related condition. All asexuality is is a lack of sexual attraction - there are no time limits mentioned - and scientists who study human sexuality can't even decide what sexual attraction IS, so the entire concept is pretty blurry at best.

The line between love and friendship can be just as hard to define. In my opinion, a long term, committed friendship is closer to being true love than an intense, six month sexual fling, and the factors that attract friends to each other are just as real as sexual attraction or romantic attraction.

If you don't feel any desire to have sex with anybody else, and if the idea of never having sex at all seems perfectly okay with you, then I would say that you're probably asexual, no matter what else might be going on, hormonally or otherwise. If any of that changes in the future, it won't invalidate anything at all. It might let you look at things from a different perspective with hindsight, but that's life most of the time anyway.

If there's a "right" person for you, then maybe they're just taking their own sweet time about showing up . . . ? Based on my own experience, I would say that it can take decades, and it seems to happen about the time that you finally give up and decide to focus on staying happily single and eccentric for life. The cosmos seems to take delight in disrupting such innocent and admirable goals. :lol:

Of course, your mileage may vary. :)
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CatBunny
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Re: So have I been bullshitting my sexuality all these years?

Postby CatBunny » 14 Dec 2016, 16:30

KAGU143 wrote:I would say that it's not worth the worry, but then you might feel otherwise. The main thing (to me) would be to make sure that there aren't any potential health issues associated with it, and if there are then to beware of them and take preventative measures if possible.

As for whether or not you're asexual, or what your exact orientation might be? Nobody can say for sure except you.
I know that what I'm going to say will be blasphemy to some, but I believe that in some cases asexuality is NOT a lifelong condition, and/or it can be perfectly valid and real even if it IS caused by some other related condition. All asexuality is is a lack of sexual attraction - there are no time limits mentioned - and scientists who study human sexuality can't even decide what sexual attraction IS, so the entire concept is pretty blurry at best.

The line between love and friendship can be just as hard to define. In my opinion, a long term, committed friendship is closer to being true love than an intense, six month sexual fling, and the factors that attract friends to each other are just as real as sexual attraction or romantic attraction.

If you don't feel any desire to have sex with anybody else, and if the idea of never having sex at all seems perfectly okay with you, then I would say that you're probably asexual, no matter what else might be going on, hormonally or otherwise. If any of that changes in the future, it won't invalidate anything at all. It might let you look at things from a different perspective with hindsight, but that's life most of the time anyway.

If there's a "right" person for you, then maybe they're just taking their own sweet time about showing up . . . ? Based on my own experience, I would say that it can take decades, and it seems to happen about the time that you finally give up and decide to focus on staying happily single and eccentric for life. The cosmos seems to take delight in disrupting such innocent and admirable goals. :lol:

Of course, your mileage may vary. :)


I know the health risks at least with medicine and all that. I realized that with hormone treatment for almost a year and half nothing has changed in terms of sexuality. I mean if I had turned straight by now I would've known haha... I'm guessing I am born with it and chances are whatever hormone problem I have is more of a correlation now looking back at what I read about it. Most people with it are just like that since birth. There are a lot of hormone disorders that affect gender identity and sexuality so who am I to say I really know what's going on?
I think I'm just a type of person who worries too much lol
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Ettina
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Re: So have I been bullshitting my sexuality all these years?

Postby Ettina » 13 Feb 2017, 11:34

To comment on the theme of "asexuality is real even if it's caused by something else", I think my autism is a big part of why I'm asexual. But that doesn't mean that I'm any less asexual. No matter what caused it, I'm still not attracted to anyone.


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