Why Asexuality is fake

For discussion of general issues pertaining to asexuality.
PiF
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Why Asexuality is fake

Postby PiF » Mon Mar 10, 2014 3:16 am

Recently things have largely fallen into place on so many things to a point I thought, why on earth is asexuality looked at as fakery..then I saw this post in Aven and in particular see post 3 and thought ..people like this are writing books and blogging what an asexual is???? god help us

http://www.asexuality.org/en/topic/9996 ... heck-am-i/

this and these type of sillyness's are why people doubt us.... asexuality really is an A or B answer there are no grey areas

the only time there are grey areas is when someone sees that a or b is correct..it doesn't suit their need so they create c,d,e,f,g all the way through to z

why is that a problem? because we are trying to show people we as a group of people are genuine, real and as normal as anyone else and you see shit like that aven link and you can see why asexuality is seen as a phase by teens and is as fake as a £75 note and nothing more

for most it is..fake, on avens current population you would also have to say that pretend asexuals..(grey/semi/demi/gender obsessed) far out weigh the sites original and intended group..asexuals

My asexuality last longer than 6 months, the latest phase or my blog/facebook entry and it's on that over the next few weeks I intend to give a real world number of posts on why asexuality is in trouble, why it's not taken seriously, avens greatness then turning into asexual public projection suicide bombers and lastly David Jay..not just complaining though..it will offer some input and ask for input on how we change this

Now..i have always valued others posts even if I disagree with them and will argue my point till the cows come home and respect others will do that also. If that level of acceptance that others have a right to an opinion offends you..then you may struggle with some of these posts and I would respectfully ask wether these are for you and if they are not..fair play for recognising that.

If you are offended by them then may I suggest an adult response and either take part or plain simply ignore the posts and don't read them..no one forces you too ok

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Re: Why Asexuality is fake

Postby KAGU143 » Mon Mar 10, 2014 1:31 pm

I want to insert one question:

Why do you believe that asexuality isn't being taken seriously today?
I ask, because I remember identifying as asexual in the early 1970s, and it was not even acknowledged as a possibility, much less taken seriously.
(I think it might have been noted as an aberration in some little-known scientific studies, but I mean in a more publicly visible sense.)

It would seem to me that asexuality is being taken seriously more often today than it has been at any point in the past, and, much as we might dislike admitting it, I think we have to give DJ and AVEN credit for most of that.

There is some truth to the old adage that bad publicity is better than none at all. The word about asexuality is out now, for better or worse, and I think (hope!) it will stay out, even if it might take another generation or so before all of the nuances are sorted out.

Baby steps ....
If you can't say something nice, don't say anything at all.

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Re: Why Asexuality is fake

Postby PiF » Tue Mar 11, 2014 4:35 am

I'll take your comments and answer them out of sync if I may Nancy

KAGU143 wrote:There is some truth to the old adage that bad publicity is better than none at all. The word about asexuality is out now, for better or worse, and I think (hope!) it will stay out, even if it might take another generation or so before all of the nuances are sorted out. ....


You could say the same about that dire flag in the colours of an old mans pair of pee stained boxers could you not. Any publicity is still publicity? Why not put a swastika in the middle of the ace flag..it would after all garnish awareness and attention would it not?

a slow drip of accurate, relative and correct information is far more group rewarding in projecting asexuality than the enmass bullshit promoted as asexuality that aven is famous for. so I would disagree that any promotion is better than none even more so when it is damaging

KAGU143 wrote:It would seem to me that asexuality is being taken seriously more often today than it has been at any point in the past, and, much as we might dislike admitting it, I think we have to give DJ and AVEN credit for most of that.....


I don't feel it is..go in aven and beyond the front page..no one truly is prepared to say what an asexual is other than a mish mash of make believe and nuonces of stretched out what can we make up this week as what it might be. I would agree visibility is on the rise but that visibility is being damaged as I answered about wrong being promoted as right

I have on many occasions thanked publicly the messiah for creating Aven and the fact aven exists. My complaint has largely been it is not a true reflection of what an asexual is and has allowed this mish mash of vaguity to promote itself as what an asexual is.

dj has the direct ability to say ..hey we have become so diluted that it is impossible to recognise what an asexual is..you certianly would not have a good idea within aven as they continually apply..an asexual is a person who does not experience sexual attraction...but in aven hey what the f*ck..it can be anything that you want it to be..I have to ask..how is that helpfull to real asexuals..those looking to see if they are real asexuals..and even more so it removes the honesty of what one is.

KAGU143 wrote:Baby steps ....


Given avens majority age group then this is more likely to identify it's approach than the true reflection it should be

be honest...if you ignored avens front page..based on avens forum..what would you say an asexual is? it would be difficult to identify asexuality as anything more than a phase mostly by teenage girls so should not be taken seriously as they grow out of it so their claim to being asexual is fake

correct projection achieves..you do not get multiple attempts at a first impression

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Re: Why Asexuality is fake

Postby PiF » Sun Mar 16, 2014 5:34 am

I have just watched the jay guy link Michael posted re David jays speech in a classroom?

From that I feel it supports that much of asexuality is fake and social network driven with the real asexuals feeling isolated by the mouthpiece of asexuality... I have never seen in all my time as a asexual.... a person as David who made so many assumptions about what sexuals feel, think and would find in order to have a better life .....pure bolloxs

As I have been saying for years wether asexuals want it or not... David jay very much see's asexuality as a franchise of the lgbtq and in his words... We should use this opportunity and resources to promote asexuality

The irony is that he also mentions the house story and proclaims we are at a juncture and have to be careful how asexuality is promoted as once it becomes very public that 1st impression will stick.... He clearly has been reading my posts

Where we differ is that David thinks it hasn't happened yet .. I know it already has and with his full permission and wishes

If you promote asexuality as part of the lgbtq what do you think most people will think?

If you promote asexuality through characters... Sheldon, dr who, Sherlock homes will you ever see why people just think asexuality is nothing more than gay geeks?

I have banged on about this for years about projecting accurately what an asexual is and in his video he concedes the no second chance for a first impression

Being honest is a real problem for the asexual movement in that they want desperately to be 'in' that they forgot most of us are already in... We just don't need to sell out to the lgbtq as a franchise.... Do you want fries with that?

As to a speaker Michael ... I see dj on the qvc channel selling hoovers

Until we bring the ship back on course I can see perfectly as to why some view us as fake

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Re: Why Asexuality is fake

Postby flergalwit » Sun Mar 16, 2014 10:06 am

Thank you, Pif, for your interesting erm.. insights on DJ's WorldPride 2012 talk.

PiF wrote:I have just watched the jay guy link Michael posted re David jays speech in a classroom?

From that I feel it supports that much of asexuality is fake and social network driven with the real asexuals feeling isolated by the mouthpiece of asexuality... I have never seen in all my time as a asexual.... a person as David who made so many assumptions about what sexuals feel, think and would find in order to have a better life .....pure bolloxs

Anyone else watched it? I'm genuinely curious as to whether anyone else felt DJ's talk a) gave the impression that much of asexuality is fake, b) made more "pure bolloxs" assumptions about sexuals than anyone else you've ever seen. Thoughts?

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Re: Why Asexuality is fake

Postby PiF » Sun Mar 16, 2014 11:36 am

Thank you for not questioning most of the last post which I will take as you agreed with particulary around the lgbtq resources/franchise for his view of how asexuality should move forward

Or he's more suited to selling hoovers on qvc :lol:

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Re: Why Asexuality is fake

Postby flergalwit » Sun Mar 16, 2014 2:21 pm

PiF wrote:Thank you for not questioning most of the last post which I will take as you agreed with particulary around the lgbtq resources/franchise for his view of how asexuality should move forward

C'mon PiF you don't need me to tell you that, yes, I see asexuality as part of the LGBTQ+ spectrum. We've only been arguing with each other on this point for.. what is it almost 4 years now. Yes I'm still the person who co-wrote this. Yes I'm still the person who works with campus queer groups, giving workshops, presentations and screenings. Yes I'm still the primary person organizing our presence at WorldPride 2014 as well as 2012, and formerly Pride London and Pride Manchester (all with lots of help from others, of course). Yes I'm still the person who has argued about this point endlessly on AVEN and elsewhere.

In other words, yes I am in favour of asexuality being considered part of the LGBTQ+ spectrum. That shouldn't be much of a surprise since, as I noted earlier, you and I have clashed on this multiple times.

In fact, I am probably more pro-LGBT-inclusion than DJ is. There is some evidence DJ sees our two groups as allies, while I argue for actual inclusion. From the London Metro (one of the articles that came out about WP12)...
Mr Jay sees the asexuality movement as allies of LGBT groups, while Mr Doré said: ‘I regard myself as quite sex-positive and I think that what LGBT are really about is exploring non-traditional possibilities for sexual and romantic relationships. I think we fit into that. An inevitable consequence of actual sex positivity is the idea that it’s okay to have none.’

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Re: Why Asexuality is fake

Postby PiF » Mon Mar 17, 2014 2:15 am

4 years??? it seems so much longer :lol: I've always respected your views micheal even though I disagree with them. Your intent is well meant with a genuine desire to push asexuality in some ways I admire your unbending beliefs..but your methods are causing asexuality to fail..not with visibility but correct information and projection.

The lgbtqa doo daah what ever this week...I have no beef with them..they are not a minority group as some would have you believe but more like a union...a far bigger organisation than some are comfortable admitting because it would take away their minority status..but it is the best example why aven, it's project team and dj have sold us out and are the largest cause of why asexuality is seen as fake.

I'll explain.

Why associate with the lgbt?
The lgbt is and has always been seen as a very very sexual body..we are by definition ..a largely non sexual group
gay then?... not according to the 2008 census of aven..most asexuals identify as straight

so as a group we are not sexual and not gay so where is the link between us and the lgbt? aahhh minority..as I said before..the lgbt stopped being a minority group many moons ago

that leaves only one possible suggestion..we have aligned with a body that is sexual and mostly gay..something we are not..under the minority clause.

If your a politician of both asexuality and lgbt I see the fakery and why it is a benefit to those who play politics..the lgbt can go away saying ..see we do not descriminate..something that would be a media disaster if they did not accept us..but more it strengthens their position saying they represent xyz blah blah

from our point our wrongly spouted mouthpieces see it not as a correct alignment but a beneficial one so when they want to throw their weight around they can say ..hey back off, we are part of the lgbt

As with most politicians..honesty is sacrificed

There is a main drive within the advertising industry..it's bread and butter if you will called..associated product. Example..I want a coke I think coke cola, I want an energy drink I think red bull, I want A i automatically think B. Correct association is the mainstay of any item you wish to promote.

You project an image that you hope will train people to without thought... think of one thing and associate it with something...dj=cock :D I'm sure by now most will have got that marketing drift..first impressions count and are incredibly difficult if not impossible to change

We have slept technically with a body we have no relation to as a group for nothing more than visibility..and even worse, the visibility is flawed and false. Like avens numbers..I saw someone say..hey we have 55,000 members.erm you don't. since it's inception 55,000 have registered..at anyone time you only have about 100 members..look at pride, look at meetings..were are these 55,000?

So someone comes into aven then goes home to thier parents and say..hey mum, dad..I want to tell you I am asexual.
Parents look it up... your gay then?
No! (might be but lets say what the majority of aven is)No mum and dad why would you say that?
Well asexuality is part of the lgbt yes?
well yes
so your sexual then too which confuses your asexual claim..I'm puzzled say the rents
No I am asexual dad,mum I have no sexual attraction to others so as with most asexuals I am not gay or have sex
Son..says the rents..it must be a phase your going through as your representitive body is both gay and very very sexual
..kid gives in and says okay I'm gay
why? because it's easier to explain being gay... than belonging to a gay sexual body that bears no resemblence to your defintion and who you are

Associated product..dj recognised this funny enough in that talk saying that we have to be carefull how we project ourselves as we won't get the lid of pandoras box shut once it's been opened

So lets go with the association through a minority group as the last desperate clutch by those pushing for this disasterous association..as I said ..lgbt stopped being a minority years ago

If we were to align correctly with a minority then why not pedophiles?..there are more pedophiles than asexuals so the larger group benefit is there, they are well organised and are mostly straight and are a group that also are unlikely to feel sexual attraction...to adults..surely we have more in common if minority is the only desperate link we use to justify the association with the lgbt..so why don't we?

Simple....wrongfull association is severly damaging..the only people who do not see how much damage the lgbt association is causing..is those with a vested interest themselves..rather than those who want to promote asexuality accurately. I lay that charge of creating a false image/definition of what an asexual is firmly at their feet

mum dad..I'm asexual.....you must be gay and sexual son..that first impression has had the lid lifted off pandoras box

when you say you are one thing and then allow a group to represent you that have nothing in common then yes..it is far easier to see asexuality is fake than real

Which after all the years of slow drip feed accuracy ..the correct projection of what an asexual is has been totally trashed for the sake of expediency as the only visibility we have is false

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Re: Why Asexuality is fake

Postby flergalwit » Mon Mar 17, 2014 10:08 am

Yes, PiF, I'm fully aware you don't like asexuality being associated with LGBTQ+. We've only been round that particular block like a thousand times before. Repeating your exact same points for the 1001th time isn't going to change my mind, and me posting the same replies for the 1001th time isn't going to change your mind. So what is the point really?

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Re: Why Asexuality is fake

Postby PiF » Tue Mar 18, 2014 1:57 am

flergalwit wrote: So what is the point really?


Because the mouths of asexuality, aven, project team and avens owner are so blinkered by the lgbt I doubt they will ever get the point to be honest Michael.

I show asexuality, you show lgbt and asexuality as does lgbt. The fact I mention also wrong projection and never being able to get a second chance at a first impression just hasn't registered..all they see is this lgbt obsession.

Look we are a incredibly small group..not even a pin prick on a pin prick on a pin prick...those in the mouth position see that as a problem so continue to try and force asexuality to sleep with those organisations who bear no resemblence to who and what we are and distort our definition for no more than forum numbers whatever they maybe.

What's so wrong about being a small group? people are learning about asexuality all the time. Avens job, the project teams job and dj's is to inform people about who and what we actually are not promote what we are not..how else are people ever going to see us as real if we ourselves are so vague about it and sell out at the first chance of stardom....until they start to put correct definition asexuality first then someone judging us as fake, a phase etc has some justification.

I have been saying for years..we can either get this incredibly right or disasterously wrong and so far..we..ourselves and those who speak for us..have been shooting ourselves in the foot too many times to succeed

We shouldn't be embarrased about who we are, we shouldn't sell ourself out to a group that bears no resemblence just for a place at THEIR table or distort our very soul definition to include everyman and his dog just to make us look important.

The irony of course is that some attend pride in our name but we have sold out the very things that should make us proud about being an asexual..that is who we are

We can stand on our own two feet..it maybe a slower path to portray accurately what we are but we have so few people to walk it and better slow and correct than fast and lose for ever our honesty and purpose....we should have pride in who and what we are.

we should be able to help those looking by portraying accurately and consistently what asexuality is so people can look at us and each other and say..I am asexual and proud to be one..without that causing confusion or doubt.

If we forget who we are and where we are from, how can we ask others to know or believe?

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Re: Why Asexuality is fake

Postby jmb » Wed Mar 19, 2014 6:03 am

While I've disagreed with PiF on a number of issues recently. On this issue, I do agree.

If individual Aces want to identify with LGBTQ+ that's fine, but to say the whole movement should... makes me uncomfortable for many of the reasons that PiF mentioned.

Also, I agree with him that either your asexual or your not asexual. demi/grey/etc are all those - but sexual. While they may have many things in common with aces, they have one specific thing that is different: They DO experience "sexual attraction".

Also to PiF's original issues - specifically with swankivy's post are valid. And her post is incomplete at best and as PiF pointed out, can be confusing. In that you can be any of the 'romances' she lists AND asexual or sexual. Also, while she uses the terms '-romantic" you can be any of those things AND aromantic.

Let me consider "Sapioromantic-Attracted to people based on intelligence": Intelligence peaks my interest, yes. It's not related to gender, BUT it's also not related to sex or romance for me. Intelligence means I can have diverse and interesting conversations with people. But it doesn't mean I want to kiss them, hold hands, live with them, have sex with them, etc., etc. I'm more likely to spend time with you and that's it.

So, yes, I agree that these terms should be done away with in terms of public discussion/education. They do confuse things greatly. Now, for those trying to find ways to talk about their orientations, I think they can be helpful, at least to understand how one may differ from the sexuals or the romantics. They're not for me, as the more I read different fora and the less I feel I can identify with a majority of anyone, the more I realise, I don't really have any orientation (sexual or otherwise) - it's a non-existent thing in my universe. I don't relate to people sexually, romantically or by gender. I relate to them as people. End of story.
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Re: Why Asexuality is fake

Postby Harmony » Sun Mar 23, 2014 7:09 pm

PiF wrote:If we were to align correctly with a minority then why not pedophiles?..there are more pedophiles than asexuals so the larger group benefit is there, they are well organised and are mostly straight and are a group that also are unlikely to feel sexual attraction...to adults..surely we have more in common if minority is the only desperate link we use to justify the association with the lgbt..so why don't we?

Pedos are joining AVEN. I don't know about most of them being straight, I really don't. AVENpedos are claiming romantic attraction, but that still doesn't mean that any sort of physical gesture on their part towards a child will not be viewed as criminal, if the gesture is based more on the pedo's desires than the child's safety. AVEN offers AVENpedos group hugs ... they have a safe space.

AVEN offers group hugs to partners who bash their asexual spouses ... they have a safe space.

AVEN offers group hugs to the politically correct word police who derail topics ... they have a safe space.

AVEN offers group hugs to the anti-elitism league who are quick to call out anyone who takes pride in or sees the advantage of being asexual ... the league has a safe space.

More and more, AVEN is encouraging members who don't claim to be repulsed, to figure out some way to have sex with those who are needy (and apparently, the whole world is needy). So what makes you think asexuality hasn't morphed into a sexual entity and fits right in with the lgbt?

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Re: Why Asexuality is fake

Postby PiF » Mon Mar 24, 2014 2:49 am

Harmony wrote: So what makes you think asexuality hasn't morphed into a sexual entity and fits right in with the lgbt?



I agree on most of your post in that Aven offers a largely safe arena for everyone who ISN'T an asexual and should an asexual say hey..where has my asexual forum gone? then they are largely targeted by the faux ones and some of the backroom who apply warnings with such rigidity to some and an almost lying flat no worries non application to others

I was puzzled by your last bit...my stance is well known, I firmly blame dj, the project team and aven for selling out asexuality to the highest bidder and that is the lgbt as we are now a franchise

as to the pedo thing...I agree..I was researching the grey section for quotes the other day and saw a chap who is now 19..openly declare at 18 he had a 12 year old girlfriend

it's called grooming...you put in a contentious post regarding under age sex...then you watch to see who supports you or is not violently against you..next thing you know those younger members..and it tends to be those who have very little knowledge of pedophillia but always have an opinion..are suddenly getting pm's, chat's in well chat and then off site..to when the skyping and video grooming starts

Aven is turning a blind eye and considering it claims to be a safe place it is actually opening doors to pedophiles and making its youngest and most vuneralble incredibly at risk

As an asexual site, you would not refer your parents when telling them your an asexual...to aven

asexuality has more belief in it being fake than real and the biggest reason for this..aven

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Re: Why Asexuality is fake

Postby flergalwit » Sat Mar 29, 2014 11:47 am

Harmony wrote:Pedos are joining AVEN. I don't know about most of them being straight, I really don't. AVENpedos are claiming romantic attraction, but that still doesn't mean that any sort of physical gesture on their part towards a child will not be viewed as criminal, if the gesture is based more on the pedo's desires than the child's safety. AVEN offers AVENpedos group hugs ... they have a safe space.

I think what you mean is that there are one or two openly minor attracted people on AVEN. That is, asexual people who do not experience any sexual attraction but experience romantic attraction to minors that they don't act on. And when I say they don't act on, I mean they don't engage in romantic, sexual or any other inappropriate actions towards minors - nor do they watch or promote child pornography.

If AVEN were to offer such people a safe space (and I'm not totally convinced it does) I would consider that a very good thing.

Harmony wrote:AVEN offers group hugs to partners who bash their asexual spouses ... they have a safe space.

Sexual partners of asexual people need their space to vent too. As one wise person on AVEN once pointed out, partners of asexuals are an even smaller minority than asexual people themselves, and AVEN is a natural place for them to turn to, especially since most other sites will tell them to just dump their partner. If we give them a safe space I'm very happy about that too. (Though people on AVEN will usually, quite rightly, defend the asexual partner being bashed, unless there is evidence they are behaving badly.)

Harmony wrote:AVEN offers group hugs to the politically correct word police who derail topics ... they have a safe space.

Such tends to be the way of the internet...

Harmony wrote:AVEN offers group hugs to the anti-elitism league who are quick to call out anyone who takes pride in or sees the advantage of being asexual ... the league has a safe space.

Yup, so it does. Anti-elitism has been a pillar of AVEN's approach to asexuality since like forever, though oddly enough it was one of the owners of the present site that codified it most eloquently.
http://www.asexuality.org/en/topic/5141 ... ourage-it/

Harmony wrote:More and more, AVEN is encouraging members who don't claim to be repulsed, to figure out some way to have sex with those who are needy (and apparently, the whole world is needy).

That's entertaining - someone told me today that they thought this was what apositive was all about, and that as an asexual who does not wish to compromise they would not be welcome on appositive.

Well neither are true. We are about choice on AVEN, just like here I believe. If you don't want to have sex, don't have sex. If you do want to have sex, and have a willing partner, go for it. Quite simple really...

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Re: Why Asexuality is fake

Postby PiF » Sun Mar 30, 2014 12:07 am

Michael hi

Your niavity has always been charming but dangerous never the less

If it was just one or two pedos do you think it would be commented on?

There has been a steady stream... Why, why would those who fantasize about and some actually do have sex with children want to come to an asexual site?

Simple, one it's full of kids, teenagers and young adults even more so the team running aven openly declares aven to be a safe place for pedos.

Question for you... The pedo network is a very tight and informative one to a point they share "safe places for kids to abuse"

The question is... How long do you think it will be before ( if it hasn't already happened) that they share... Hey this aven place is full of kids, the mod team know we are there and say for us it's a safe place ... Haha liking shooting fish in a barrel.... What safeguards do you have in place not to promote this and deal with it when it happens? I'm guessing.... None

Talk to victims of pedophillia and they will tell you... The physical act is the last part but the biggest damage done to them was the mental damage through the grooming/ blackmail and none direct physical acts

I would therefore desperately ask you and the team research the damage done without the actual last physical act before you give any more comments and promises to protect pedos in aven

It highlights the backrooms totally glimmered view .. We are a site for asexuals (even though they are few and far between) compares with we offer a safe place for all despite putting at risk the largest age group by openly declaring pedos are welcome and offered sanctuary

The fact you won't accept it will come to bear when something hits the fan... And it will with a parent kicking up a fuss when their child is groomed on aven

You lot have been warned

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Re: Why Asexuality is fake

Postby flergalwit » Sun Mar 30, 2014 2:01 am

PiF wrote:Michael hi
If it was just one or two pedos do you think it would be commented on?

Yes.

PiF wrote:Why, why would those who fantasize about and some actually do have sex with children want to come to an asexual site?

Those that I've seen do not fantasize about sex with children. They experience romantic attraction only to minors, which they don't act on in any way.

Thanks for your concern. We take the safety of our members very seriously also. To address a couple of points:

a) AVEN does not provide a safe space for paedophiles except in the sense that most of the internet itself is such a space. If you go on a random website, say yahoo answers, and say "I am minor attracted but I don't act on it" it's pretty unlikely that they'll ban you. There are probably some exceptions.

For that matter I'm guessing the same is true of apositive too. Nancy: if someone came on here and said "I am minor attracted but I don't act on it in any way" would you ban them? (Don't worry I am not going to encourage anyone to do this.) I would be surprised if you would.

b) Members on AVEN are more at danger from potential predators who *don't* openly identify as minor attracted. Although minor attracted is not the same as abuser (you can be an abuser without being minor attracted and vice versa), if someone identifies as minor attracted they know they are going to be monitored pretty heavily, and they know pretty well everything they say and do has to be above board. They know that members will be on the watch out, and that they are much more likely to be reported for sending an unsolicited PM than other members are. It's actually better we let people identify as minor attracted than force them to remain silent - after all, keeping them silent about it won't stop them joining anyway.

If a potential abuser came on (and this has happened before, as you'd expect it to on a large site) it's overwhelmingly likely they would not identify as a paedophile or anything else. They'd just PM members. This has happened before; we encourage all members to report inappropriate PMs so that stalkers and potential abusers can be banned. And they do get banned - and in some cases, reported to their ISP. So AVEN is very much not a safe space for anyone who makes inappropriate contact with members.

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Re: Why Asexuality is fake

Postby PiF » Sun Mar 30, 2014 2:49 am

Minor attracted???? Your trying to sanitize pedos to ease your conscience

You live in this hairy fairy world where pedos do no harm until they actually physically abuse whilst trying to hide as much damage is done mentally, still... Hug a tree and ease your mind... Feel better

They don't overnight flick a switch and say from this day forward I'll hunt children. It is very much a road and you my friend are providing a pit stop in your "safe"arena

I'll ask a favor for your census.. As well as adding ... Under the definition do you identify as asexual could you also add... Have you at anytime in aven been approached in a wrongful and sexual manner and if yes did you feel it was an older person looking for a younger person

Now, you should have no objection to doing that as by your own words...They don't act on it anyway

It highlights how desperate aven is to add "members" in such a way that an actual asexual in aven is getting harder to find than an honest decision from it's backroom

If you wanted to know what an asexual was you would look at the front page and header... Go into the forums and you would leave with no other opinion that asexuals a fakes...I lay that firmly at avens door and those who operate it... And it would make it so understandable why so few "members" do not give aven as a reference to those they wish to convince they are genuine.

Ciri
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Re: Why Asexuality is fake

Postby Ciri » Sun Mar 30, 2014 7:54 am

Wait?

I've reported 4 stalkers and neither got banned?

One actually got hold of my home address and said they were paying me a visit. I seem to remember the response to that being "We don't want to hurt [irrelevant person] even more.]. Yes it was a older person looking for a younger one - he had previously had a relationship with my 15 year old friend. Another 2 tried blackmailing me and myself and my brother received death threats. They could still go on aven if they wanted.
You're all dead and I'm your eternal punishment.

flergalwit
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Re: Why Asexuality is fake

Postby flergalwit » Sun Mar 30, 2014 8:00 am

Send me the details privately and I'll be happy to look into it. AVEN policy is that stalkers and predators get banned and possibly reported to their IP. Of course there has to be evidence, not just hearsay. So if you have such, please send it and I'll investigate ASAP.

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KAGU143
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Re: Why Asexuality is fake

Postby KAGU143 » Wed Apr 02, 2014 7:20 pm

Apositive's original intent was never to discourage sex-averse people from joining. Obviously, all people are welcome here unless they are openly trolling or being abusive. Conflicting views are welcome, too, as long as they are presented in a civil manner.

The "sex-positive" part was that we wanted to explore ways in which asexuals and sexuals could find some sort of common sexual ground in their relationships, especially mixed relationships since those can be particularly problematic. At the time, AVEN's membership didn't seem to be quite ready for topics that could sometimes become quite graphic.
Apositive appeals to an older demographic on average, even though we don't have any enforced age restrictions.

Now, if an openly avowed pedophile were to join Apositive and then say that they never acted on their attraction I don't think I would automatically ban them, especially since our membership isn't precisely the type to appeal to them in any case, but you can bet your favorite grandma that I would be keeping a permanent record of their IP and their email address.
Just because.
Anything beyond that would depend on their individual situation and how they behaved.
If you can't say something nice, don't say anything at all.

Ciri
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Re: Why Asexuality is fake

Postby Ciri » Thu Apr 03, 2014 8:43 am

There is actually one thing that concerns/doesn't make sense to me with respect to people identifying as asexual.

The general consensus is that the majority of peoples Sexual and Romantic Orientations match up so you have:

Heterosexual/heteromantic
Homosexual/homoromantic
Bi/Pansexual/Bi/Panromantic (to me they are the same thing)
Asexual/aromantic

Siggy did some statistics from a 2008 AVEN dataset (yes I'm trying to find something better to use) and the results for Asexual vs Romantic Orientation was:

Heteromantic: 36%
Homoromantic: 7%
Biromantic: 17%
Panromantic: 15%
Aromantic: 19%

If the two orientations line up in the majority of people, why is there almost twice as many heteromantics as aromantics? I understand there was apparently an issue with the results method but it would be obvious from just looking at them that there is more heteromantic asexuals. AVEN 2013 seemed to have a similar distribution from observation.

The bottom line is if both orientations are supposed to line up then aromantics should have a greater percentage than any of the others.
You're all dead and I'm your eternal punishment.

flergalwit
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Re: Why Asexuality is fake

Postby flergalwit » Thu Apr 03, 2014 10:09 am

1) Most people haven't even heard of romantic orientations; most have only heard of sexual.
2) Being sexually attracted is a possible good reason (but not the only reason) to want a relationship with someone. So someone sexually attracted to the opposite/same/both genders is reasonably likely to want romantic relationships with those groups. Operationally, this is often equivalent to identifying as heteroromantic, homoromantic and biromantic. On the other hand, asexual people do often want relationships for non-sexual reasons, which usually means non-aromantic.

So really I'd expect the two to coincide much more for hetero, bi and homo-* than a-.

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Re: Why Asexuality is fake

Postby PiF » Thu Apr 03, 2014 11:06 am

Biromantic= someone who fancies pens

Panromantic= someone who fancies kitchenware

PiF
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Re: Why Asexuality is fake

Postby PiF » Mon Sep 29, 2014 4:23 am

I have found evidence as to why aven doesn't even interest it's owner

he is now a presenter on "catfish" http://www.mtv.co.uk/catfish-the-tv-sho ... -episode-8

PiF
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Re: Why Asexuality is fake

Postby PiF » Mon Oct 06, 2014 2:44 am

For me the biggest problem with asexuality is the desperateness of those who self glamourise themselves as voice pieces of the asexuality issue...it's not a movement, there are two few genuine asexuals to be called a movement.

Not long ago in avens poll section I asked for some clarification as despite saying they would do a consensus of avens members...they are afraid too

so I asked a few questions these are the threads

http://www.asexuality.org/en/topic/1048 ... el-part-1/

http://www.asexuality.org/en/topic/1052 ... el-part-2/

you'll see that most who identify as asexual are not 100% asexual.....most identify as female...and the largest age group is 18-23

why is this important? for me it identifies by avens own members who took part that asexuality for the majority is during the discovery phase of late teens/early adult and is incredibly unlikely for that same majority to be asexual as they grow into who they are

nothing wrong with that but it does provide..by facts..that most identifying as asexual...are not

what is sad for me is that asexuality on the internet is almost like the ice bucket challenge...an internet challenge for some who are fickle on such things as it's "on trend" and the cool thing to do on the internet at the momment. Most won't know how it started, why it exists and even why they are doing it ...but for those who are long term 100% asexual and to asexualitys integrity...there can be very little as damaging.

How can we change it and show we are genuine?

That my fellow asexuals is the problem..as long as those that claim to represent us want us to sleep with absolutely anyone just to raise a skewed profile realise the damage they are doing..then the doubt is real and with some genuine understanding.

PiF
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Re: Why Asexuality is fake

Postby PiF » Thu Dec 04, 2014 4:20 am

I'm pondering but pretty sure it will not stop it.

How can we stop the social network site that happens to have asexuality in it's title, from ruinning what has been built up over many many years and is now having our integrity as asexuals decimated by aven?

Their own figures show it is now more likely to be a site for teens/early adults in the discovery phase of their life of which, whilst most will proclaim asexuality is everything to anybody and choose any watered down label this week and promote it as what an asexual is whilst in 6 months they will be whatever ice bucket challenge appears to be the fashion....those of us who try and promote what an actual asexual is..are hunted and barred from the alledged safe place for asexuals

How can we promote..asexuality doesn't stop at 24? It is genuine and not a phase and that we are exactly the same as everyone else except we have no sexual attraction to anyone?

The task would seem easy as the definition is simple to explain, understand and accepted by most above the fantasy people who look for more labels than a shopping mall.

Avens project team is next to useless as all they want to do is go on pride marches and claim it's all about minorities and not correct asexuality.

So again..how can we stop aven destroying the integrity of asexuality whilst at the same time promoting the positive accurate definition?