Asexual and Transexual ?

For discussion of general issues pertaining to asexuality.
PiF
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Asexual and Transexual ?

Postby PiF » Sat Sep 19, 2015 2:13 am

One of your first biggest Eureka momments will be around 30 when you realise you have been beating yourself up for the last 15 years trying to figure out who and what you are, for nothing

But until that happens then you will beat yourself up more than any single other person ever will

When it comes to asexuality..far too many are confusing far too many other things with asexuality..mental health, gay, straight, trans, victims of sexual abuse, apathy towards relationships, pure selfishness in relationships and the list goes on

The hardest part is finding out if you are one of these so associate parts of your life with asexuality or...your an asexual who has these parts within them

Example...are you someone who through sexual abuse can simply not register sexual relationships and have therefore thought you are asexual...or are you an asexual who has been the victim of abuse

Lets get one thing straight...if you are looking for validation online you are almost always going to get more confusion potentially that confirmation but where else do you look?

The key I feel is to take as much information as you can and then YOU decide YOU

in the case of Transexuals...are you transexual..are you transexual and asexual ..are you none of the above and where the hell do you look for a transexual asexual forum

One of the best resources around at the momment is transyada..it had its roots in aven but then went onto form its own forum in the hope of bridging that gap for those looking at the trans and asexual arena's for a better understanding and more information on these areas

so if your need,want or interest is is asexuality and trans then why not give them a look in? https://transyada.net/forum/

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littleheartsofjoy
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Re: Asexual and Transexual ?

Postby littleheartsofjoy » Mon Sep 21, 2015 6:25 pm

I think the bridge between sharing those 2 experiences should be discussed more. I'm glad that there is a forum for both things. Even though the asexual community is kind of small, I feel like certain voices are much louder than others. Off the top of my head, I can only think of one asexual person who is visible and non-binary. Just one, which is kind of sad.
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SubHuman
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Re: Asexual and Transexual ?

Postby SubHuman » Tue Sep 22, 2015 6:59 am

littleheartsofjoy wrote:I think the bridge between sharing those 2 experiences should be discussed more. I'm glad that there is a forum for both things. Even though the asexual community is kind of small, I feel like certain voices are much louder than others. Off the top of my head, I can only think of one asexual person who is visible and non-binary. Just one, which is kind of sad.


Do you mean like someone who is officially asexual and non-binary in public? Then, it is bery few asexuals in general who are out, compared to other sexual miniorities. But on AVEN and tumblr most are non-binary.

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littleheartsofjoy
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Re: Asexual and Transexual ?

Postby littleheartsofjoy » Tue Sep 22, 2015 6:32 pm

SubHuman wrote:
littleheartsofjoy wrote:I think the bridge between sharing those 2 experiences should be discussed more. I'm glad that there is a forum for both things. Even though the asexual community is kind of small, I feel like certain voices are much louder than others. Off the top of my head, I can only think of one asexual person who is visible and non-binary. Just one, which is kind of sad.


Do you mean like someone who is officially asexual and non-binary in public? Then, it is bery few asexuals in general who are out, compared to other sexual miniorities. But on AVEN and tumblr most are non-binary.

I mean in public, and also people who make things such as YouTube videos about asexuality.
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PiF
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Re: Asexual and Transexual ?

Postby PiF » Thu Oct 01, 2015 1:46 am

I often get flack for this because people think I am attacking teens..Certianly not

if you look at the last asexual census most identify as "some form" of asexuality between late teens and early adults then there is a massive drop off of people identifying as asexual of some kind after the age of 25

My own opinion remains the same as it has always been in that the majority of those identifying as some form of asexuality are not asexual...but..if during their life's discovery path often called phase..then many find a holding place in the asexual association..there is nothing wrong with this..people often latch onto asssociations, groups, labels because they are trying to find out who and what they are and sometimes take temporary shelter in those groups until they are ready to move on.

Now..in relation to self identifying on the internet rather than real life...there will be a number of issues around this..some will have a confidence on line that they do not have in real life..but this is not specific to asexuality..many find a confidence on line that they feel they cannot have in real life but I also suspect that the reason why so few tell those in real life and those closest too them about being asexual...is that the person identifying is afraid that within a few months time they will also identify as something else and then that causes doubt to those around them as to their honest identitiy

If you are gay 1 month...then straight 6 months later and asexual 4 months after that..and humanist 5 months after that...and to try and clarify that approach you use the term "fluid"...I would say you just do not know what you are yet so don't stick so many labels on yourself as it limits rather than expands who and what you are...for me..if you do not know who you are...then your not there yet..wait till you do

Most asexuals do not identify as asexuals in real life because they are not...we certianly do not face the hate many gay lesbian and trans groups face, never have and never will

Identifying as a real asexual in real life I would say for most real asexuals is pretty much a non event..most will not feel the need to run around at pride marches or shout as "i am asexual you must respect me"..it is an important part of who we are but only a small part

if you feel you are asexual and feel you need to declare that..then you should if you feel it is right for you...but most identifying as some form of asexual are I feel..still are unsure if they are asexual at all...so do not publicly disclose their asexuality and that is okay too

In regard to asexual and transexual ....that is not something I will ever have to worry about for myself but that is a whole bravery challenge I do not envy

Skycaptain
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Re: Asexual and Transexual ?

Postby Skycaptain » Thu Oct 01, 2015 1:36 pm

hey, just consider that, whilst not trans, I'm non cis, basically non-gendered, I have the physical attributes of male and female and nothing, but I was 42 before I was able to accept the fact, and only after going through an experience that I would not wish on my worst enemy

PiF
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Re: Asexual and Transexual ?

Postby PiF » Tue Oct 13, 2015 11:39 am

Hi Sky

I know I'm going to sound like an old fart but it's a block I have. I genuinely would like yo know more about how your identifying but could you explain it in a non gobbledegook way

I'll explain if I can..getting rid of labels...I understood what you said as...you might have a mans downstairs and a ladies upstairs? but feel as though you are neither??

Again I am genuinely interested ....just I do get lost in the terminology. Would you be so kind id possible to explain it in a way that would be more like a 101?

Skycaptain
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Re: Asexual and Transexual ?

Postby Skycaptain » Tue Oct 13, 2015 1:04 pm

pIF, I have a condition known as pre-pubertal androgen deficiency. This means that whilst born with dangly bits they are barely above infantile in size. I have eunuchoid skeletal proportions. I don't have an Adam's apple, I have abnormally low upper body musculature, low level gynaecomastia ( if I was to squeeze them together I could give a male a sausage sandwich, no hair at all on my legs, back, upper arms, sparse facial and forearm hair, female hips and butt. A simple answer is look at me clothed you'd think male, hear me on a telephone you'd think female, see me naked you'd think "pass me a microscope". Effectively I fulfil all the traits of being XXY yet I have an XY karyotype.
For an exact categorisation I need to look beyond the NHS as I have exhausted all their available diagnostic methods.

PiF
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Re: Asexual and Transexual ?

Postby PiF » Tue Oct 13, 2015 2:14 pm

Thanks for the explanation Sky, some bits I'm sure I will have to look up but certianly it's a clearer picture.

I certainly can see why you feel you have had much of your life fighting a battle about who and what you are and I think it highlights often the person we all battle with more than any other...is ourselves.

I don't envy the battle you've had or the challenges you feel you still have to face but I do feel from how you have written, that you seem to be in a far better place than you have been before?

Anyway Again thank you for being so open