Asexual or medication/mental health condition?

For discussion of general issues pertaining to asexuality.
User avatar
PiF
Apositive Star
Posts: 2268
Joined: 14 Nov 2011, 22:47

Asexual or medication/mental health condition?

Postby PiF » 15 Oct 2015, 03:08

Online most of those claiming to be some form of asexual are of the late teen early adult. Most if you read the posts also identify as having some form of depression, anxiety attacks, panic attacks, social insecurity.

These things on their own would cause symptoms of finding it difficult to be sexually attracted, attracted or even a liking of others or a difficulty in relating/having empathy with others.

Just one of those COULD cause you to wrongly identify as asexual, have more than just one of those conditions and the risk increases of wrongful identification

Now imagine you have multiple of those conditions AND you take medication for those conditions?

Most ssri's state within their side effects lowered sex drive and anxiety so some doctors also prescribe things like Lyrica for anxiety which in their side effects it also lists no desire for sex

My point is..given the biggest age group identifying online as Asexual is also the biggest group identified as those with depression, anxiety, panic attacks, social interaction difficulties and if that was not enough most of the relevant medications give side effects of lowered sex drive or no sex drive at all..then would it be reasonable to suggest?..that most identifying as asexual would be incorrect to do so?

Now with all of these things it relies on honesty..are you a person with a condition and wrongly identifying it as some form of asexuality..or are you some form of asexual with these conditions?

User avatar
KAGU143
Administrator
Posts: 1245
Joined: 05 Jan 2008, 10:09

Re: Asexual or medication/mental health condition?

Postby KAGU143 » 15 Oct 2015, 04:41

If asexuality is defined as not feeling sexual attraction - full stop - then what you are saying is that a person who does not experience any sexual attraction at all can't really be considered asexual if they also have some other condition at the same time.
You have added a lot of extra qualifiers to the definition of asexuality and, although I think you probably mean well, you end up causing as much confusion as you are trying to prevent.

Nowhere does the definition state that "true" asexuals must be born asexual, must never change, and cannot have any other personality or neurological disorders which might be affecting their sexuality.

We have always disagreed on this.

That's why I have tried to use the analogy of not experiencing sexual attraction (asexual) and not experiencing sight (blind).
You either ARE or you are NOT.

You are saying, in effect, that a person who can't see due to an accident of some kind is wrongly identifying as blind.
If you can't say something nice, don't say anything at all.

User avatar
PiF
Apositive Star
Posts: 2268
Joined: 14 Nov 2011, 22:47

Re: Asexual or medication/mental health condition?

Postby PiF » 15 Oct 2015, 06:14

Not really

I've pointed out that the largest group claiming asexuality of some version are also the same largest group that have the highest problems with mental illness...also medication for mental illness has side effects of low libido and no sexual desire

I've also said where it gets confusing is wether your an asexual with these problems or ...these problems make you feel asexual... and that is where the honesty suggestion comes in

I do get your blind analogy I just feel it is non relative...as unlike some claiming to be asexual..they won't get their "eyesight" back in their mid 20's :D

User avatar
CatBunny
Established Member
Posts: 93
Joined: 09 Jul 2015, 12:50

Re: Asexual or medication/mental health condition?

Postby CatBunny » 29 Oct 2015, 03:21

i've got bipolar 1, been on medication for 7 years and wish I had a low sex drive :|

I know my aunt has the same disorder, untreated and she seems very much like she's asexual. Despite the disorder causes sex obsession she feels no sexual attraction at all, found my mom's attraction to men bizarre and cannot stand sex. Most people with bipolar go on crazy sex binges because it's like they're on cocaine and i've never done that or even attempted to and my aunt isn't even on meds, so her disorder isn't even treated. Also mine is 300% times more severe than hers and my doctor was befuddled that I never even tried to have sex. So that essentially ruins the argument there.
Image

Skycaptain
Regular Member
Posts: 103
Joined: 16 Aug 2015, 07:45

Re: Asexual or medication/mental health condition?

Postby Skycaptain » 29 Oct 2015, 10:39

sexual attraction and sexual desire are not the same thing. Attraction is long-term whereas desire is short-term. No sexual attraction means just not seeing people as potential bedding partners. No desire means thinking, maybe a bedding partner, but it's too much like hard work at the moment. Desire can be transient, brought on by other medical conditions, whereas asexuality is much longer lasting

where the confusion and debate, especially amongst younger people seems to stem from appears to me to be this. At school/ college whatever, there is a lot of exaggeration about sexual activity. Also people reach sexual maturity at different rates. So, if for example you have a class of 30 sixteen year olds, most will say that they are at it like rabbits, to fit in with the crowd, peer pressure and all that. Whereas in reality maybe only one or two have tried sex once. Most are too busy studying to find a partner. One or two may think, particularly in the internet age, to inquire why they don't feel like sex 24/7 and discover asexuality, so think they must be asexual. In a few cases this will be a correct reasoning. In the majority, by the time they are twenty, and in a more active social environment, properly developed these people do become sexually active.

User avatar
PiF
Apositive Star
Posts: 2268
Joined: 14 Nov 2011, 22:47

Re: Asexual or medication/mental health condition?

Postby PiF » 29 Oct 2015, 11:25

For me the desire part of the claim is nonsense

I have desired sex before....desire is want...but that has only been when a partner has also desired sex and after a while you get to know your partners needs as they get to know yours...having sex or wanting sex is not what an asexual is..it never has been

The hardest part I found was explaining to a partner what asexuality is because when they go on the net and see all the silly definitions....it becomes even harder to explain the reality

When I say I am not sexually attracted to anyone...most have heard...I'm not sexually attracted to you!!!

They then read more and become more confused..How comes some asexuals can have sex and some won't

You try and tell them, that is nothing to do with asexuality at all...honest it isn't you, it really isn't...it really is me

so you try and explain more... sexually repulsed...anti sexual...sex positive..low libido//high libido ...likes kink&bdsm..hates kink&bdsm..the list of confusions goes on

all these differences are not exclusive to asexuals because they apply to sexuals too..so if by these things alone you are indentifing as asexual..then you are wrong too

the flip side is if you are asexual and...(insert you sexual/asexual combined preferences/traits)

I would agree sky in the newer age and have linked this with the sharp drop off of people on the net claiming to be asexual that happen just to be mostly westerners at uni...they are not looking for a 24/7 long term relationship, struggle with real world confidence (as a majority of identity forum members seem too) and so confuse the lack of wish for a relationship and the closeness of attraction.....with being asexual.

You know what would be telling?...aven claims to have over 80,000 members...if it was possible I wonder if we could email them all and say.."hey, do you remember when you identified as some kind of asexual...how do you feel about that now and do you still identify as such?" I have strong suspicions most who would reply would reply as.."hey yeah we were simply identifying as anything as a kid...but no we are sexual as we always probably were"


In the big scheme of things how people identify is ultimately down to them

but with that comes a responsibility..even more so if you project outwardly to others something as one thing it is not and by the time you move on to discover you never were..the damage to those of us who remain...is irreversable

User avatar
CatBunny
Established Member
Posts: 93
Joined: 09 Jul 2015, 12:50

Re: Asexual or medication/mental health condition?

Postby CatBunny » 29 Oct 2015, 15:55

You guys misinterpreted what I said. I was implying that the idea of your mental illness/medication confusing you about your asexuality is kinda nullifed in my experience, because the disorder causes sex obsession/hyper sex or whatever doctors call it rather than lowering your sex drive.
People usually assume that asexuality and mental illness is confused because they assume all mental disorders cause depression, low sex drive, etc. Mania is like the total opposite. In fact I think anxiety problems could cause high sex drives in some rare cases as well.

I'm not saying sex drive and attraction is the same. I'm just kinda use to seeing this post on tons of forums.
Image

User avatar
PiF
Apositive Star
Posts: 2268
Joined: 14 Nov 2011, 22:47

Re: Asexual or medication/mental health condition?

Postby PiF » 29 Oct 2015, 19:55

Absolutely understand what your saying Cat in that in some cases of mental health the need for sex is higher and not lower....but for me anyway...asexuality has never been about a need or want for sex it is just the lack of sexual attraction

What doesn't help Asexuality is we have too many training to make living out of getting it wrong....phsycologists, phsyciatrists etc and it's made worse because aven is american where I believe they have a mental health bible called the dsm is used where asexuality is included

My asexuality is not a mental illness, why on earth is it being adjudged as such??...this is because they have wrongly associated Asexuality as a mental illness

I think they would get a truer and clearer idea of asexuality if they stopped basing their information on the time in all our lifes (yes even us old farts have been through it) if they stopped basing most of their research on the ages between late teens and early adults..at the moment they seem to be basing Asexualities future and projection on people who only feel asexual of some kind for the smallest of times. That is not goos research and is not good for us as a group.

I also think cat, it goes back to what I always say on this matter...it relies on the honesty of the individual;

are you someone who has a/multiple mental illness's who through those illness's has found a temporary safe place by associating with asexuality as some form of asexual

or

are you an asexual who by chance also has a/multiple mental health conditions?

I would hope we are able, whatever the honesty is...that people realise Asexuality is NOT a mental health condition and they should not consider it to be one.


Return to “Asexuality”

Who is online

Users browsing this forum: No registered users and 1 guest