asexual? with a sexual partner

For discussion of general issues pertaining to asexuality.
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PiF
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asexual? with a sexual partner

Postby PiF » 13 Apr 2016, 01:37

I'd like to say how much it annoys me intensly how many faux asexuals turn on sexuals coming into asexual forums asking for help, understanding or even just information on asexuality as they feel their marriage, long term or even short term relationship whether they be straight, gay, trans or any other combination

In MOST cases, the person asking appears to be sexual and of those requests for help, the line mostly seems to be..is my partner asexual? It is almost impossible to tell that online with so little information, even more so as that person enquiring is often looking for some desperate hope, advice or information to save a relationship they are desperate to save

If the first response they get from an asexual forum member is ....."Sounds to me like you're upset you're not getting any." ...... WTF?!!

Since when did we think this was acceptable?

When most of these people looking for help ask for help, most it would seem to be are with partners who are MOSTLY not asexual but events in their relationship or in their early life have caused issues...of which both may give off consequences that lead them to look at asexuality

Most will be in a state of despair at losing possibly something incredibly important to them and something that could change the entire rest of their life by the decisions that follow ..so why one earth is......"Sounds to me like you're upset you're not getting any."....acceptable?

There needs to be a better understanding of honest sexuals by faux asexuals.... and the arrogance and rudeness of youth should never superceed those in relationships looking for help in their relationships..There also needs to be better moderation to stamp out these anti sexual backward thinking arseoles

I have complained many times before about aven being anti sexual...this isn't helped by much of aven being teens who are not worldly wide, who most are sexuals pretending to be asexual but treating themselves as asexual experts..who then turn on sexuals in relationships asking for help

It's bad enough asexuality is seen as nothing more than a phase that kids have whilst at college...but being rude arseoles to sexuals desperately seeking to save a relationship....is only going to add to the negative impression of asexual forums and Asexuality itself

Thankfully here in Apositive this is not an issue and I doubt it ever will be.

And should any sexual hoping for help and clarity in regards to their relationship want to come into Apositive, there will always be a respectful and understanding ear

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KAGU143
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Re: asexual? with a sexual partner

Postby KAGU143 » 13 Apr 2016, 04:19

I will, perhaps, (because real life today is going to be a BEAR!) go and check into that thread later today and invite the poster to come here for a grownup discussion about "mixed" relationships. This is, after all, one of the main reasons that Apositive exists.

However, PiF, I have to admit that I am finding it very offensive that you feel qualified to stand in judgement and pronounce someone else a "faux" asexual.
If I were inclined to do so, I would certainly question the asexuality of people who claim to be asexual and yet admit that sometimes they WANT to have sex with another person.
To quote an old source, "Judge not, lest ye be judged."
If you can't say something nice, don't say anything at all.

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PiF
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Re: asexual? with a sexual partner

Postby PiF » 13 Apr 2016, 05:24

KAGU143 wrote:To quote an old source, "Judge not, lest ye be judged."
....says the lady judging :P :lol:

wanting to have sex has nothing to do with asexuality.... as those who have, tend to be in a relationship and the only want is to please their partner, as a tool, sex could just as easily be a cheese quiche and advocado salad....It's the lack of sexual attraction...not the lack of want..you know better naughty :lol: but it does explain why the want/desirists always cause confusion

But yes if that person is genuine, is seeking help and has not been frigtened off by the kiddies then yes pull them this way

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KAGU143
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Re: asexual? with a sexual partner

Postby KAGU143 » 13 Apr 2016, 15:12

Being perfectly willing to do something that would normally be out of character for you is not the same thing as wanting to do it.
But . . . we've had this discussion before and I see no need to revisit it.
If you can't say something nice, don't say anything at all.


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