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Is it time to remove the term Grey Asexual ?

Posted: Fri Jun 03, 2016 10:03 am
by PiF
My own personal position is well known, asexuality is the lack of sexual attraction...some claim it to be a desire based defintion..they are entitled to be wrong of course :lol:

the one thing I do keep seeing however is that full time asexuals are one else

everyone else apparently comes under the "spectrum" do my stool samples from too much iron, very too much sweetcorn, very yellow :lol:

However in that fake land of asexuals called spectrum..the biggest term I feel that causes the most confusion is Grey Asexual/Grey A

if you're on the spectrum then it measures how much you experience sexual attraction...only full time asexuals experience none

So I wonder, it is time to try and remove some of the confusion and labels that causes a plague on our houses ?

For me I think its time to clarify further what is an actual Asexual by removing the term Grey Asexual/Grey A and replace it with Grey sexual

This still highlights that they still experience sexual attraction/desire but at the thinnest end

I think it's time we took a bit more control of Asexuality and took control away from the Sexual Identity and Gender Network (sign) we are asexual, not sexual.

Let's give ourselves a chance to take our own position forward and by removing confusing terms such as Grey Asexual/Grey A, it would be a good step forward to removing some of the confusion both within and outside of our communities.

Re: Is it time to remove the term Grey Asexual ?

Posted: Sat Jun 04, 2016 7:47 am
by KAGU143
No, it is not time. No part of human nature is black and white. It never has been. Not one bit of it, and the degree of sexual attraction that a person experiences is no different. PiF, that "plague on our house" that you talk about seems to be affecting your house and nobody else's.

Until the media stops pushing the idea that all normal people should be sexually attracted to at least a few people in every crowd then the group of people who don't experience that will have nowhere else to go. They BELONG in the asexual community. They have been convinced that they're broken and need medication or counseling, and that simply isn't true.

Asexuality IS a spectrum, just like all of human behavior, and by trying to impose an artificial standard of purity and a dividing line upon it you are invalidating the life experiences of a sizable number of genuine, totally valid asexuals - just because they might have experienced sexual attraction once, on a full moon, in 2004, and they didn't even know what it was until they had time to think about it.

Re: Is it time to remove the term Grey Asexual ?

Posted: Sat Jun 04, 2016 8:26 am
by PiF
I think your wrong

You know, you can blame the media but that has nothing to do with asexuality. The stupidity and out of control labelism is by our own community and not the media so blaming them is just hooey. Most of the media does not know we exist

Can you point out where I said they are not part of the asexual community? I have always said sexual allies are a valuable part of the asexual community but they are not asexual...asexual is or isn't

again, whether you choose to use desire or attraction, only one thing defines us....not a little bit of it, not a every week day with fish, not dependent on the person in front of is simply zero

Asexuality has never been a spectrum...sexuality has

There is no purity attempt...I said full time asexual..are you a full time asexual?... then you can see the difference between us and sexuals

sexuals with a sliding scale does not an asexual make.

I have no problem with sexuals choosing their own terms but to add asexual to it such as grey asexual would be wrong and incorrect but the correct term would be grey sexual and correct clarification would help asexuality no end.

I'll add a bit if I may...this isn't a purge as I suspect your thinking Nancy but can we make asexuality clearer?

an analogy if I may

On the wall are two light switches...a simple on off switch...and a dimmer switch

Asexuality is a on off switch, you're either asexual or sexual....sexuality is a dimmer switch which has variances

Those who feel asexuality is a spectrum would believe in the dimmer switch...however, if asexuality is the lights off (nothing there) and sexuality is the light on (something there)...then making it variable still requires the light to be turned on no matter how bright the light is

So..all the grey area are sexuals on the sexual spectrum.....again, as allies, they are incredibly valuable and definitely welcome in the community

Once we have then clarified what is and isn't..then and only then can we promote without confusion both within and externally, Asexuaity.

If I want to launch a new cola, I won't sell people mountain dew.

Re: Is it time to remove the term Grey Asexual ?

Posted: Mon Jun 20, 2016 1:25 pm
by CatBunny
sexuality is biological so finding a pure distinct black/white distinction for all of it is hard. All sexuality is on a spectrum. Some people experience little to no sexual attraction, some people experience little to some attraction to same genders or the opposite gender, some people experience romantic attraction once in while, some feel they are purely one orientation, the list goes on. Nothing in nature is clear cut.

This is more scientific than political. Finding definition like that is pretty hard. But what they do know is they are queer for the most part and belong with aces.

Re: Is it time to remove the term Grey Asexual ?

Posted: Mon Jun 20, 2016 5:01 pm
by KAGU143
I agree.
There are grey sexuals and there are grey asexuals. I have no idea where the precise line should be drawn. The real question for them, I would think, would be finding partners with roughly the same level of sexual interest.
(Maybe I'm overthinking it.)

Re: Is it time to remove the term Grey Asexual ?

Posted: Fri Jul 15, 2016 5:42 pm
by Thrasymachus
Time is best spent not paying attention to any term invented on the AVEN forum or even how AVEN defined asexuality as a lack of attraction. Terminologies created by stunted, unintelligent people aren't gonna be useful, even to the people who invent the terminology soup.

Re: Is it time to remove the term Grey Asexual ?

Posted: Fri Jul 15, 2016 8:10 pm
by KAGU143
Welcome back, Thrasymachus. :mrgreen:

I thought it had seemed unusually friendly and peaceful around here lately. :lol:

Language, as perhaps you know, is a constantly evolving means of communication. No amount of wishing will change that fact, and whether or not you approve of AVEN, they managed to put asexuality in the spotlight. In less than a decade and a half it has gone from being virtually unknown to being widely recognized and studied. The definition of asexuality, as proposed by AVEN, has been adopted as the default and you really don't have the power to make it change.

Those "stunted, unintelligent" people are way ahead of you. (Did you forget to say neckbeards?)


Re: Is it time to remove the term Grey Asexual ?

Posted: Tue Sep 13, 2016 5:42 pm
by Ettina
Personally, I just call myself "totally asexual". You know, like the difference between legally blind (can see a bit but not enough to be practically useful) and totally blind (can't see anything at all).

Re: Is it time to remove the term Grey Asexual ?

Posted: Tue Jul 04, 2017 11:19 pm
by martinicus
I have nothing against being called grey sexual. But there is one problem. Saying to a person that I'm sexual implies that I might want to have sex or could have sex, but I don't. So, "sexual" is really confusing for others. Should then I say that I'm just ... grey?



For me, the major cause of confusion and inner conflict is sexual attraction (or better it would be to say - reaction) to a person and lack of desire (as not conscious wanting but subconscious impulses, fantasies and dreams) to actually engage in a sexual activity. Even masturbation.

So, if you take sexual attraction alone as the main factor, then obviously you can't call me a "true asexual". If I see a specific person with specific looks and behavior (my attraction is highly selective), I feel some tension "down there", and it can turn into erection quite soon. But when I'm together with that person, it all stops after talking and cuddling. So, sexual attraction to a person - yes, attraction to sex itself as an activity - no. So, how should I label myself to make life less confusing for other people and how do I prove to them that I'm not a single one with such an "issue"? Not clear yet. Therefore I'might have to hang in ace communities for some time, until someone invents a better term. I'm not sure, if such segmentation is actually necessary, but I understand that grey (a)sexuals make things more confusing for "true asexuals", and I apologize for that. :halo: