Are asexuals more likely to be bi?

For discussion of general issues pertaining to asexuality.

If you are a romantic asexual, what is your preference in partners/crushes/etc.?

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Are asexuals more likely to be bi?

Postby inanechild » Wed Jul 02, 2008 10:50 pm

I thought I would ask a question: are asexuals more likely to be bi-affectionate?

Let me tell you what I was thinking in setting this one up. I'm gay, but I can still appreciate the beauty of a man, experience a (platonic) emotional connection, and occasionally even sexually fantastize about straight sex. That said, my feelings towards individual men lack a certain noticable "passion", which serves to make these feelings distinct from my feelings for women and thus lead to my self-labelling. This passion is definitely rooted in sexual attraction - I can get distracted gazing at a beautiful woman, think about what a crush has said to me for days, etc. etc., but it doesn't happen for men. However, if my relationships were only about cuddling, shared interests, and emotional closeness, I could be just as happy with a compatible man as with a compatible woman.

This all leads me to ponder: are asexuals inclined to romantic feelings more likely to be bi than the greater population? Since sex is not essential to attraction for asexuals, does this make asexuals more likely to be able to develop feelings for both genders, or is "monosexuality" just as common in the asexual population as it is with the rest of us?

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Re: Are asexuals more likely to be bi?

Postby ily » Thu Jul 03, 2008 2:49 pm

For me, there's a very fine line between "both" and "neither". I'd be willing to be in a relationship with any gender, but that's because I'm not overwhelmingly attracted to one gender over another. I'm equally indifferent about both.

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Re: Are asexuals more likely to be bi?

Postby Placebo » Thu Jul 03, 2008 7:06 pm

I'm pretty much the same as Ily. I usually find that the difference is more socially constructed, with expectations of where the relationship should lead--I don't know that I really have a strong preference either way. With same-sex friends, we're considered friends and with each other we act like really close friends. With my closer opposite friends, rumors instantly blossom about the possibility of dating or whatever.
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Re: Are asexuals more likely to be bi?

Postby Emmarainbow » Sun Jul 06, 2008 7:30 am

I also think that ase people are more likely to say they're bi/gay in that those with a more heteroromantic outlook (either because society has told 'em so, or they feel more inclined that way) are less likely to be forced to reconsider their orientation and consider being ase. A lot more of them probably just think they're choosy or something.

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Re: Are asexuals more likely to be bi?

Postby Dargon » Mon Jul 07, 2008 5:15 pm

I am not sure whether or not asexuals would be more or less likely to be biromantic. The logic makes sense, but there are too many variables. If anything, I would think that because of the maturity and open-mindedness involved in accepting asexuality, asexuals who have identified their asexuality would be more likely to consider whether or not they are biromanitc.

As for myself, I have not voted since I consider myself to me "mostly aromantic," and further still, very a-affectionate. However, I am capable of feeling what I think is romantic attraction, and both times I have felt it it has been towards females (I am male). Because I have only felt this feeling towards two people ever, I am uncertain if I am capable of experiencing it towards males.

As for the aesthetics, I am quite capable of appreciating the beauty of both the male and female body, clothed or nude. I do find the female body to be more aesthetically pleasing than the male, but this does not change the fact that I do enjoy looking at both.

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Re: Are asexuals more likely to be bi?

Postby cyan » Mon Jul 14, 2008 10:40 pm

I selected 'opposite-sex' because, like Dargon (except reversed), all two people I've been seriously attracted to in my life have been male. I can appreciate the aesthetic qualities of both genders, so perhaps it's just that, as an engineer, I encounter a lot more of one than the other. :lol:

I've also noticed, though, that I tend to be attracted not to guys in general, but to a specific 'type' ... so I suspect, if I encountered a girl who fit the qualities of that 'type', I would probably be attracted to her too; but since it hasn't happened yet, who knows?

That's why I prefer to call my romantic orientation "insufficient data" 8)

As others have said, I suspect that if we asexuals are more likely to be biromantic, it's probably primarily in that, since we're forced by our difference to put more thought into the whole sexual orientation than your archetypical heterosexual, we're also more likely to, along that path of self discovery, discover that the genitalia and/or social role of our hypothetical partners doesn't matter as much as we thought it did.

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Re: Are asexuals more likely to be bi?

Postby Lehcar » Sun Jul 20, 2008 10:55 pm

Too funny - I was just thinking about this the other day. I generally call myself 'aromantic', and I've never experienced any kind of romantic attraction. But I was thinking about it, and I imagine that if I were either sexual or romantic, I'd most likely be bi. Like the others have stated, part of it is probably having had to actually THINK about this stuff, and therefore be more likely to the 'non-norm'.

I know for myself, there's the added dimension of not really noticing gender until it's pointed out to me - I mean, I can tell what gender people are presenting, but for the most part it doesn't affect how I interact or think about people. That is, until something happens that forces me to remember that the vast majority of the population separates itself into two categories and then adheres to certain stereotypes and societal expectations in relation to that segregation. I also notice - and enjoy - the balanced aesthetic aspects of the human form in either gender, though it's in the same way that I enjoy the aesthetic beauty of a flock of geese, or an apple tree, or a glacier (the world is so cool!)

So personally, I think that if I should ever experience attraction, said attraction would be impartial to gender, and more focused on the aesthetics of the individual. Could be that I'm just weird though ;)

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Re: Are asexuals more likely to be bi?

Postby Mon-chii-chii » Fri Aug 01, 2008 12:13 pm

Just a personal opinion, you should put "other" on that poll. *Shrugs* I personally believe it depends on the person, same as any other person. They may simply be more open about other sexuality's than most seem in today's world.

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Re: Are asexuals more likely to be bi?

Postby Witch of Wapping » Mon Aug 18, 2008 11:41 am

I had to post because nobody had voted same sex at all! It's old news to anyone who knows me a bit but I identified as lesbian, and particularly lesbian feminist, since 1971, and it has been a much bigger part of my life than asexuality which I stumbled across as a community two years ago. I could say more and probably should, but feel I've said it a lot before - a lot of this is force of habit, but it has a lot of political passion behind it, and too much stuff about who I'm just accustomed to being.