How far will you go to prove your asexuality?

For discussion of general issues pertaining to asexuality.
User avatar
Rylen
New Member
Posts: 7
Joined: Sun Feb 01, 2009 6:44 pm

How far will you go to prove your asexuality?

Postby Rylen » Wed Feb 04, 2009 5:03 pm

So, about four years ago I announced that I was never going to have sex and no one could change my mind about it.
My friends who I hadn't actually fully come out to at the time, were all still convinced (and some still are) that all I need to do is find "the right person" (Over half of them are convinced it will be a girl) and BAM my sex drive will turn on.
Yeah, no.
To prove my intentions (and my asexuality) I made a bet with my best friend that if I was still a virgin by the time I turned 25 she would have to buy me the ENTIRE collection of whatever show I'm obsessing over at the time. (I'm thinking of holding out and asking her for Stargate SG-1.)
We were originally going to aim for forty.
But a third party haggled down to twenty.
We haggled back up to twenty-five.
Now it's my main weapon against people trying to proposition me: "sorry, can't sleep with you, need to win a bet."

Anyone else done something like this? Or not like this, as the case may be?
Mmkay. Here's the problem... Harlan's dead. Why? Because they keep killing him!
Gordan's stamina increases.
[-.^ is the AIM adapted version of a quirked eyebrow. I'm not winking at you.]

Karl
Administrator
Posts: 495
Joined: Sat Jan 05, 2008 9:41 am

Re: How far will you go to prove your asexuality?

Postby Karl » Wed Feb 04, 2009 5:11 pm

Ha! Nooo... I was pretty fortunate that the people I came out to knew me well enough to be able to see that I wasn't kidding myself (i.e. they knew that I hadn't had a sexual relationship for the kind of time period that has most sexual people pining and whining, and that I really hadn't made a big deal about it). Sounds like you've got a sweet deal going on there, though - I kind of wish there was someone I could set something like that up with myself...

User avatar
Rylen
New Member
Posts: 7
Joined: Sun Feb 01, 2009 6:44 pm

Re: How far will you go to prove your asexuality?

Postby Rylen » Wed Feb 04, 2009 6:11 pm

Originally, she was going to own me 300$. But seeing as I will be a poor university student in my second last year, I would probably make a bad purchasing decision, so we made it fail-safe. :) I really hope I'm not the only crazy one though...
No that's a lie.
Mmkay. Here's the problem... Harlan's dead. Why? Because they keep killing him!
Gordan's stamina increases.
[-.^ is the AIM adapted version of a quirked eyebrow. I'm not winking at you.]

User avatar
wintermute
Established Member
Posts: 69
Joined: Sat Feb 23, 2008 8:50 am

Re: How far will you go to prove your asexuality?

Postby wintermute » Thu Feb 05, 2009 10:22 am

I don't think I've ever felt the need to 'prove' it as such. Besides, who knows what tomorrow brings :)
Cicero wrote:"Neither can embellishments of language be found without arrangement and expression of thoughts, nor can thoughts be made to shine without the light of language"

User avatar
Dargon
Mega Member
Posts: 516
Joined: Sat Jan 26, 2008 7:34 pm

Re: How far will you go to prove your asexuality?

Postby Dargon » Thu Feb 05, 2009 5:11 pm

I did in the grade school bet one Taco Bueno Burrito that I'd stay single longer. I haven't collected my winnings yet.

I heard that a lot in high school, less in college, though I still get it from my mother, but I've never really felt the need to "prove" it. Those that are open to the idea tend to go "huh....that makes sense" and those that aren't either cannot be convinced or take lots of time and gradual education (I sound like I'm trying to teach evangelism here).

I haven't had much in the realm of propositions, as I tend to not put myself in situations where that would happen. However, if it does, my plan is simply to invite them over for "Mario Kart." And when they get to my place, I hand them the controller and turn on Mario Kart. I figure they'll either get pissed off immediatly, play for awhile and then get pissed off when they realize that's all I had planned, or they'll be genuinely interested in Mario Kart and end up being a pretty cool person.

User avatar
Rylen
New Member
Posts: 7
Joined: Sun Feb 01, 2009 6:44 pm

Re: How far will you go to prove your asexuality?

Postby Rylen » Thu Feb 05, 2009 7:22 pm

Hahaha. That's a good plan.
I have a lot of friends who "understand" now that they get that I'm serious about the bet, but it's how I introduce myself to strangers who may be interested in me.
Apparently my mum can't take me anywhere without me getting checked out at the checkout. >.< As she worded it.
I feel terrible because a) I'm oblivious and b) even if I wasn't I would just be misleading the poor innocents.
I would probably identify as a lesbian if I was sexual anyway. -.^
Mmkay. Here's the problem... Harlan's dead. Why? Because they keep killing him!
Gordan's stamina increases.
[-.^ is the AIM adapted version of a quirked eyebrow. I'm not winking at you.]

User avatar
Shockwave
Regular Member
Posts: 117
Joined: Fri Jan 25, 2008 6:46 pm

Re: How far will you go to prove your asexuality?

Postby Shockwave » Thu Feb 05, 2009 7:23 pm

Dargon wrote:I did in the grade school bet one Taco Bueno Burrito that I'd stay single longer. I haven't collected my winnings yet.

I wish I had made a bet like that. All of my grade school friends married in their late teens to early 20s. Now we're all mid 30s and some of them are divorced. And I'm still happily single.

User avatar
ily
Regular Member
Posts: 248
Joined: Thu Jan 24, 2008 7:55 pm

Re: How far will you go to prove your asexuality?

Postby ily » Sat Feb 07, 2009 9:31 pm

Considering that some people won't face facts even when there's concrete evidence, I don't see much point in trying to prove I'm asexual. "When you meet the right person" is annoying. What if you're sexually attracted to a total asshole who's really wrong for you? Will your friends still be happy then? Yeah, there's flaws in that "logic" too.

User avatar
wintermute
Established Member
Posts: 69
Joined: Sat Feb 23, 2008 8:50 am

Re: How far will you go to prove your asexuality?

Postby wintermute » Sun Feb 08, 2009 4:20 am

I would have thought the best 'proof' of being asexual would be to be asexual without duress. If there was a bet riding on it, someone could always say you stayed asexual for the prize. You could pay someone enough money to do almost anything, that wouldn't be 'proof' it was in their nature.
Cicero wrote:"Neither can embellishments of language be found without arrangement and expression of thoughts, nor can thoughts be made to shine without the light of language"

User avatar
Rylen
New Member
Posts: 7
Joined: Sun Feb 01, 2009 6:44 pm

Re: How far will you go to prove your asexuality?

Postby Rylen » Sun Feb 08, 2009 2:46 pm

The fact that I was willing to make the bet for a bunch of DVDs I could easily scam off a torrent site the "proof" I actually wouldn't have sex for a million dollars.
Or children.
That came up once of twice.
Mmkay. Here's the problem... Harlan's dead. Why? Because they keep killing him!
Gordan's stamina increases.
[-.^ is the AIM adapted version of a quirked eyebrow. I'm not winking at you.]

User avatar
Placebo
Established Member
Posts: 77
Joined: Sun Jan 20, 2008 7:23 pm

Re: How far will you go to prove your asexuality?

Postby Placebo » Sun Feb 08, 2009 6:04 pm

Apparently I won't go very far to prove my asexuality. . . I'm in a sexual relationship. Or is that the ultimate proof, that I still think of myself as asexual?
"Now it's right for me to be me."

Phil Halvorsen, from "The [Widget], the [Wadget], and Boff" (Theodore Sturgeon)

User avatar
mindlife1
New Member
Posts: 9
Joined: Mon Feb 09, 2009 8:11 am

Re: How far will you go to prove your asexuality?

Postby mindlife1 » Mon Feb 09, 2009 8:31 am

wintermute wrote:I don't think I've ever felt the need to 'prove' it as such. Besides, who knows what tomorrow brings :)

Agreed.
I feel what I feel.
I am not interested in sexual contact.
My orientation is my perspective, it is not something I need to prove.
What had begun in the 1760's as outbursts of hostility against specific actions of Parliament and particular Crown officials had within a decade escalated into a genuine revolutionary movement, sustained by a powerful, even millennial, creed ...G.S.Wood

Kotoko
New Member
Posts: 7
Joined: Sun Feb 08, 2009 11:44 pm

Re: How far will you go to prove your asexuality?

Postby Kotoko » Tue Feb 10, 2009 4:53 pm

Haha, that sounds like a pretty awesome bet XD Sounds like something I should do with one particular friend, who honestly is trying to set me up with someone at every chance she has (although I think, slowly and surely, she's starting to "get" the fact that I have zero interest in pursuing a romantic relationship with anyone...not that it stops her from trying, lol). But, if anything, I too don't feel the need to really "prove" myself. Not yet, anyway. I haven't really told anyone outright that I just don't have any interest in sex or even romantic relationships, although I have run into discussions over where I see myself in the future (I'm currently 20). Some of my friends have said they picture me married and with kids, but I always tell them, "Really? I don't see that at all."

User avatar
mindlife1
New Member
Posts: 9
Joined: Mon Feb 09, 2009 8:11 am

Re: How far will you go to prove your asexuality?

Postby mindlife1 » Tue Feb 10, 2009 5:46 pm

Romantic interest, relationships, and asexuality can co-exist.
What had begun in the 1760's as outbursts of hostility against specific actions of Parliament and particular Crown officials had within a decade escalated into a genuine revolutionary movement, sustained by a powerful, even millennial, creed ...G.S.Wood

Kotoko
New Member
Posts: 7
Joined: Sun Feb 08, 2009 11:44 pm

Re: How far will you go to prove your asexuality?

Postby Kotoko » Tue Feb 10, 2009 5:52 pm

mindlife1 wrote:Romantic interest, relationships, and asexuality can co-exist.

From what I've read so far from the asexual community, yes, they can.
But for me, they don't (at this point in time, anyway!)

User avatar
mindlife1
New Member
Posts: 9
Joined: Mon Feb 09, 2009 8:11 am

Re: How far will you go to prove your asexuality?

Postby mindlife1 » Wed Feb 11, 2009 4:55 pm

Yes.
What had begun in the 1760's as outbursts of hostility against specific actions of Parliament and particular Crown officials had within a decade escalated into a genuine revolutionary movement, sustained by a powerful, even millennial, creed ...G.S.Wood

clouded_perception
New Member
Posts: 29
Joined: Tue Mar 03, 2009 9:01 am

Re: How far will you go to prove your asexuality?

Postby clouded_perception » Tue Mar 03, 2009 9:27 pm

Rylen wrote:Now it's my main weapon against people trying to proposition me: "sorry, can't sleep with you, need to win a bet."


:mrgreen:

I don't try to "prove" my asexuality at all. No point. The only people I respect enough to care what they think trust me enough to take my word for it. As far as anyone else goes, I don't really care if they think I'm repressed/underdeveloped/in denial so long as they don't bug me about it.