Why women find it difficult to find an asexual man

For discussion of general issues pertaining to asexuality.
Disjointed

Why women find it difficult to find an asexual man

Postby Disjointed » Mon Sep 23, 2013 4:11 am

Having had my fair share of relationships both long and short I ask often why on earth do you want an asexual man?

The largest share say eureka where have you been all my life..a man who doesn't want sex..the golden challice...only for some time later for it to appear what they actually meant was they wanted to to be the ones to decide when to shag and not have the man do it :hmph: :lol:

so lets have a giggle at looking for an asexual male partner

If you were a woman looking for an asexual male partner what questions would you put on the survey?

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Tanwen
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Re: Why women find it difficult to find an asexual man

Postby Tanwen » Mon Sep 23, 2013 8:13 am

If I were a woman??? Don't know if i should be insulted :lol: :lol: :lol:

Well, as my son says I prefer my dogs to him (of course I do, paid more for them :hmph: ), the very first question would be 'Do you like dogs: :D
You lose nothing when fighting for a cause ... In my mind the losers are those who don't have a cause they care about. - Muhammad Ali

Disjointed

Re: Why women find it difficult to find an asexual man

Postby Disjointed » Tue Sep 24, 2013 3:22 am

I should have written that better sorry Tan

I think I question wether (A) a person who thinks they are are an asexual man actually is an asexual and (b) what is it an opposite/same sex partner thinks an asexual partner should/could be like

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KAGU143
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Re: Why women find it difficult to find an asexual man

Postby KAGU143 » Tue Sep 24, 2013 8:58 am

That might be a tougher question than you think, Disjointed.
I'm lucky since I beat the odds and found a mate, but I remember thinking that could never happen and that I should figure out some way to take care of myself for my entire life.
Wow .... that was a seriously depressing time of my life .... :(

In my case, what I wanted was a guy who was a good match for me as far as basic personality, interests, likes and dislikes, and part of that match had to include no desire to have sex - ever.
Considering that I was frequenting a website for asexuals at the time, it sounds like it should have been easy, but it wasn't easy at all.
I find all sorts of people to be interesting, and I can find something good in almost anybody, but when it comes to someone who is going to be around me all the time I get very picky indeed.
There are some personal qualities that are pluses and some things that are minuses. I suspect that each person would have a different way to evaluate them, but a serious relationship prospect should have more pluses than minuses.
Now, if I were to write down my own list of pros and cons I'm not sure how helpful it would be.
I think it's more of a one-on-one kind of topic, don't you?
If you can't say something nice, don't say anything at all.

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Tanwen
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Re: Why women find it difficult to find an asexual man

Postby Tanwen » Tue Sep 24, 2013 9:45 am

For asexuals, companionship is a pretty big part of a relationship. similar but not necessarily identical interests. I think I've spent too long on my own now to find anyone who'd be prepared to put up with my selfish habits. So it would be hard for me to say what I'd look for.
You lose nothing when fighting for a cause ... In my mind the losers are those who don't have a cause they care about. - Muhammad Ali

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Re: Why women find it difficult to find an asexual man

Postby Harmony » Tue Sep 24, 2013 7:11 pm

Do you consider sex an integral part of a serious relationship?
If you answered "yes" to the above, kindly skip the rest of the survey.

Do you consider partnered sex a need or necessity for yourself?
If you answered "yes", then skip the rest and don't try to sneak out with the pencil.

I remember one admod stating the they did not want obligatory sex, but wanted take-it-or-leave-it sex. Are you the type of guy who also wants take-it-or-leave-it sex?
If you answered "yes", then you are looking for a sorta-sexual relationship. Skip the rest and leave.

Are you a fan and admirer of Sheldon Cooper and hope to emulate him?
If you answered "yes", then you go into the squirrely friend file. Next!

I finally saw the (A)sexual doc on Hulu. Wasn't Kæth going to review it for us with his comments? I'm not sure I understood the chart. But the one question I had was: "Why doesn't he look for an asexual partner who wants kids?". He has the opportunity to meet plenty and has met plenty. What's the deal?

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Re: Why women find it difficult to find an asexual man

Postby Ciri » Wed Sep 25, 2013 12:18 pm

Are you a hypersexual?
If no, continue to the next question.

Will you f*ck off and ask again in a few days time if I say no?
If yes, continue to the next question.

Will the answer of no be met with visible disappointment, anger or general repercussions?
If no, please continue.

If you claim to be asexual but don't match the definition, will you ask me and take on board what it means for me?
If yes, please continue.

Will you ever refer to me as "asexy", something related to the asexuals loving cake thing or as "Sheldon Cooper with boobs"?
If no please continue.
If yes, but will stop at the first time of biting your head off, please continue.
If yes but lol I will cause I have a shitty sense of humour, please jump off the nearest cliff.

Will you accept that although I may be in a "romantic" relationship with you and will do romanticy things, I don't actually have those feelings for you? That doesn't mean I don't love or care about you, if I didn't I wouldn't be putting myself in this position. Maybe that lack of feeling will change in the future (most likely not).
If yes, please continue.

Do you understand why this picture ------------------>
Is punny on multiple levels?
If yes, you're definitely in.

Oh and arrogance is a definite no.
I would enter a relationship purely for the companionship and because for some reason I need to know someone out there loves me.
You're all dead and I'm your eternal punishment.

Disjointed

Re: Why women find it difficult to find an asexual man

Postby Disjointed » Thu Sep 26, 2013 2:36 am

Some good questions and defines why I feel if we are so vague on the definition as many wish us to be why finding a mate is harder for those that are looking

But also some questions I hadn't even thought of

JustBeingMe67
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Re: Why women find it difficult to find an asexual man

Postby JustBeingMe67 » Tue Jun 30, 2015 2:23 pm

Question: Can you be fulfilled without having sex?
If not, might wanna move along :)
Peace~

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KAGU143
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Re: Why women find it difficult to find an asexual man

Postby KAGU143 » Tue Jul 07, 2015 6:27 am

Men of that sort are very rare and it takes a long time to find one. They do exist, but then ... sexual compatibility is only one aspect of a relationship and a fellow asexual may or may not be a good match, personality-wise.

I still think it's worth the trouble to keep searching, though.
If you can't say something nice, don't say anything at all.