Some honest confessions

For discussion of issues pertaining to sexuality. Warning: Topics within this forum may contain frank discussion of a sexual nature.
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CatBunny
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Some honest confessions

Postby CatBunny » 09 Jul 2015, 14:07

Some Personal stuff I feel like venting about.
I find myself sex repulsed but curious about sex, even though I find most sex acts just unappealing or stupid. Hell I can't even find anything interesting about tongue kissing. I am aromantic asexual and I am pretty aware of that, but I sometimes find myself curious, although it always feel like curiosity killed the cat because I can't seem to tolerate most of what other people like. I never had sex or really plan to, even though I've felt kinda pressured from talking to people. I just have no desire to have a romantic and sexual partnership and anything outside of it tends to be questionable at best("friends with benefits" for an example). I think also a huge glaring problem was having a high libido from hormone problems, which is slowly being under control. Should I bother to even care about seeking a sexual relationship or just go on with my life? Because I sometimes feel like i'm confused whether it's something I actually want or it's just something I think I want but don't really need or I just have no confidence to make decisions for myself sometimes.
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PiF
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Re: Some honest confessions

Postby PiF » 10 Jul 2015, 03:07

I'm hoping some aro asexuals will be in soon

I get the tongue thing, I'm sex positive but try to avoid french kissing..I wonder the french just call it...kissing :D ..but the last time I did the tongue kiss, it felt like someone had shoved an octopus in my mouth and it was trying to dna map every milli part of my mouth..just yuk

Even for aros, we as human beings are curious about things and so thinking about sex is prettty normal..F#ck buddies can work on the basis of a itch that needs to be scratched....I remember watching the big bang theory once and a character..leslie winkle used Leonard for a fumble in her jungle so to speak and when he tried to date more she explained no thank you it was just her immediate need that was satissfied and she would now be okay for another year

Now, that assumes you have an itch and you may want to do something about it..but some are unwilling or unable to go down that route

What often goes ignored is that sexual people feel this way too..as we become a more digitised and lacking real world relationships..apathy and anxiety about real world relationships and sex are as equally shared by some sexuals as they are by some asexuals

some have sex to see what all the fuss was about and when they do many may say..was that it? and some may say, it wasn't bad I can take it or leave it and some will say yuk..never again..there will of course be some who think it is better than sliced bread...but as time goes on I do see more around me seeing sex less important within a relationship...doesn't automatically mean asexuality but you get my drift i hope

Sex is like eating brussels sprouts...some will tell you they taste great but you know they do not and they make you fart..but some will still put a sprout on a fork and say try one, you might like it..... so you feel pressured

Being asexual means my impulses rarely involve sex...but in regards to sex...I have never done it unless I personally have wanted too and that is the best advice I can give....don't put your life on hold regarding sex but IF it happens and only IF you want to then do...if you do not want to do it then simply do not

As to others pressuring you into sex...until they clean the damp patches from the bed sheets..then their opinion means nothing.

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CatBunny
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Re: Some honest confessions

Postby CatBunny » 10 Jul 2015, 04:33

PiF wrote:I'm hoping some aro asexuals will be in soon

I get the tongue thing, I'm sex positive but try to avoid french kissing..I wonder the french just call it...kissing :D ..but the last time I did the tongue kiss, it felt like someone had shoved an octopus in my mouth and it was trying to dna map every milli part of my mouth..just yuk

Even for aros, we as human beings are curious about things and so thinking about sex is prettty normal..F#ck buddies can work on the basis of a itch that needs to be scratched....I remember watching the big bang theory once and a character..leslie winkle used Leonard for a fumble in her jungle so to speak and when he tried to date more she explained no thank you it was just her immediate need that was satissfied and she would now be okay for another year

Now, that assumes you have an itch and you may want to do something about it..but some are unwilling or unable to go down that route

What often goes ignored is that sexual people feel this way too..as we become a more digitised and lacking real world relationships..apathy and anxiety about real world relationships and sex are as equally shared by some sexuals as they are by some asexuals

some have sex to see what all the fuss was about and when they do many may say..was that it? and some may say, it wasn't bad I can take it or leave it and some will say yuk..never again..there will of course be some who think it is better than sliced bread...but as time goes on I do see more around me seeing sex less important within a relationship...doesn't automatically mean asexuality but you get my drift i hope

Sex is like eating brussels sprouts...some will tell you they taste great but you know they do not and make you fart..but some will still put a sprout on a fork and say try one, you might like it..... so you feel pressured

Being asexual means my impulses rarely involve sex...but in regards to sex...I have never done it unless I personally have wanted too and that is the best advice I can give....don't put your life on hold regarding sex but IF it happens and only IF you want to then do...if you do not want to do it then simply do not

As to others pressuring you into sex...until they clean the damp patches from the bed sheets..then their opinion means nothing.


I think all it boils down into is just curiosity, if it was a real need i'd probably would've been searching a long time ago for something. I guess I see sex as just another activity like going to the park, although people act like it's a prophecy you have to fulfill before you die.
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PiF
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Re: Some honest confessions

Postby PiF » 10 Jul 2015, 04:55

I have always felt bravado is a bigger driver when it comes to sex...so many are afraid of not only the first time but the perception everyone must shag all the time so they must also promote what is normal and what is not

a bit like..hey yeah it's great you should all try it and I love it, go on, you know you want to...when in truth they are saying that to hide how they really feel and hope by convincing others, they will convince themselves

In truth sex is just one of the basis of most relationships wether long term or for just that one off event and for some I do wonder if that relationship connect is more scary for some than the sex part ?


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