Mildly Sexual Experiences

[Kez]

From another thread (Thanks whoever said that, I can't remember, but it's a good one!) I came cross this concept and thought it apt.

Of course, our individual concepy of a mildly sexual experience will be different for each person, but here's mine.

The other week, at a friends place, we were having a party, swimming, drinking, and in the spa. One of the guys in the spa (there were 2 guys and 3 girls) said that we should all wear only one item of clothing (the 11pm rule, or somesuch). We all agreed, but that wasn't the midly sexual part.

I was sitting next to Shelley, a friend that I have a minor crush-like thing on, and somehow our hands found one anothers, and we started playing handsies (like footsies, but with hands). I'm not sure how long it went on for - an hour or so - but it was one of the most ... not erotic, and not exactly sexual, but certainly sensual experiences I've had.

Most of my friends (who are very sexual) wouldn't even think of that as being sexual - since it didn't involve private parts - but does something sexual have to contain private parts, or is it simply part of each individuals past experience/interpretation of a particular aspect of life?

[Noskcaj.Llahsram]

I agree with your assessment of 'what is a sexual experience'

Mine runs in a similar vein, but is in fact even less physical. It was a while ago, I can't remember exactly how long, but I was working the late shift at McDonalds and there were only a few of us there, the manager, who was working was, I don't know some sort of complicated mix between good friend and casual acquaintance, had her break come up, so she yelled "Jack (names changed to protect the innocent) get outside your having a smoke with me!" now I was probably the only one that didn't smoke. We go outside, she leant against the wall I sat on the stone table about three feet in front of her, and we just stayed there for about an hour mostly in silence, she smoked a single cigarette, and we made some painfully forced small talk near the end.
I don't know if this even qualifies, but it was one of the most sensual experiences of my life, not to mention memorable and pleasant.

[Emmarainbow]

Well, I was the one who used the phrase... I said I'd elaborate, so here we are!

I had one Huge Mildly Sexual Experience a couple of weeks ago - I call it huge (and capitalise) because it effected me a lot, a sexual experience, because it was, but mild because by most sexual standards, it was hardly an experience at all...

*Long Story Alert!*

I'd become quite close friends with a girl who, on first aquaintance, shared my bed (and borrowed my pyjamas). I was a bit off-put by this at first, seeing as she was adament that cuddling-in-bed should happen, but I went along with it, and it was lovely... big hot waterbottle experience. She'd made it clear that she always shares beds with people completely innocently (which I loved the idea of) done this a few times before Christmas, and it had become pretty normal if we went out, or she went out with one of my flatmates, that she'd either share my bed, or I'd get back and find her in it. We're on pretty similar wave-lengths, and she's lovely to chat to.

We talked over Christmas, and on the day I came back to uni she came and visited me - I was already watching a film with two friends, and she and I slept through the second half together. Then, the very moment that my friends were gone, she got into bed, so I did too (I was exhausted)... and while I tried to talk or sleep like normal, she was moving very close and breathing pretty funny. I kept to avoid our faced bumping (bless, how innocent - well, I was pretty sure I knew what was going on, but wasn't certain) and eventually she got the guts to kiss me. And I kissed her back, and it was actually enjoyable. Just before Christmas, I'd tried to kiss some guy, just screwed myself up to do it, but it felt utterly wrong and strange, and I felt tainted afterwards, even though I'd barely touched him, and cut him off, even felt sorry for leading him on. This felt much more right (helps if you know/like the person!) and I was so happy that I was capable of it, as well as this amazing feeling of closeness and being wanted. I was affirmed that I was asexual, because I didn't fancy her, and that I am capable of this kind of closeness, and also that little niggling self-doubt of 'noone would want to go out with you anyway' was gone - I'm not going to be alone forever! I can do this! Hurrah!

It was pretty much as sexual as kissing can be without going further than kissing. She held me very close and stroked my hair, and it was lovely. I kept expecting things to go further, but they didn't, although I would have been fine with that at the time. I also had no clue what I was doing, I just mirrored what she did, because I wanted her to feel as happy as I did. We talked, and then kissed more... I wish we could have talked more because I was getting bored of the kissing by then... and eventually we went to sleep. However, although I was ridiculously happy, she wasn't. I have a horrible feeling I was a way for her to feel better, just as, in a way, she was a way for me to experiment and feel better about myself (although she started it!). She left without me waking up properly, and avoided talking about it. She has not shared my bed since, although we were supposed to at some point, so I didn't get the chance to talk about it properly since then. We also haven't had the chance to talk alone since then either. I have a horrible feeling that she's hung up over the gender thing, something which I came to terms with years ago - she admitted to never having kissed a girl like that before. And she's religious, which might not help. *sigh*

However, overall, still a positive (and certainly a learning) experience, although I intend not to have a similar one with someone else (at least for a while) til I've sorted this one out properly.

[spin]

ooookay, I like this thread! In my definition "sexual experience" does involve, if not private bits, at least some erotic quality.

As such I can relate most to your Huge Mildly Sexual Experience, Emmarainbow. First of all, yay I think? It sounds like it was a very good experience at the time. I hope you two can talk and sort things out.

I have lots of what I'd consider very affectionate and sensual experiences with friends--cuddling and massaging and dancing--but I guess the only thing I'd classify as a "Mildly Sexual Experience" was with two dear friends (one male, one female) who visited me this summer. No kissing, no going past panty lines, but lots of cuddling and touching and sleeping all together. But while he was inadvertently getting me physically aroused (watch your hands, boys), the more erotic part was between the two of them. She's straight and not into cuddling me so much, and he said he saw me too much like a sister to cuddle me properly It was mostly fun but pretty weird.

Anyway, I can really relate to Emmarainbow's making out story, though I guess what I do with Fella goes a bit beyond "mild."