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Does increased visibility lead to more doubt?

Posted: Thu Jan 07, 2016 7:05 am
by PiF
I'm quite looking forward to seeing Eddy Redmane and Alicia Vikander in The Danish Girl. It looks a fantasticly well done film with some outstanding cast.

This got me wondering, when you have a sudden surge of promotion it seems to bring out not only some good but mostly bad. I wonder certianly how the trans movement feel say about Caitlyn Jenner?

Personally I feel the same way about Asexuality..we seem to have occasional rushes of awareness and get ..I would guestimate...about 95% of sexuals trying real hard to claim to be some kind of asexual...even at that guesstimate that still means that suddenly 5% of real asexuals find a place to start from which is a good thing but it still remains frustrating to see asexuality being continually promoted in a way it is not

That's my opinion, have you one?

Re: Does increased visibility lead to more doubt?

Posted: Fri Jan 08, 2016 4:23 pm
by Skycaptain
To me, there is only one problem with asexuality, and awareness. Differential diagnosis. It is proven that there are many conditions which reduce sexual desire. I have no qualms with that statement. Asexuality is just never seeing any other person as a sexual partner, or in other terms, having no desire for partnered sexual activity or stimulation. Dissatisfaction with pervious sexual experiences, hormonal disorders, trauma, developmental hang-ups, mental conditions, all of these can affect desire for sex. So, asexual as an orientation is seen as a null option, to be considered after everything else has been discounted. I can agree with that. Prior to accepting myself as an asexual I had to consider developmental issues, I have prepubertal onset hypogonadism of as yet unknown cause so certain areas are about a quarter of the size they should be, rejection, doubts as to whether I WAS are attracted to males, females or people outside the binary, being told "is that all you've got" being continually misgendered, i.e. despite having allegedly "dangly bits" taken as a female over the telephone. Having people of the same biological sex and the opposite biological sex try and chat me up and being repulsed by both. This is why it took me until 42, with a still intact V-Card to realise that asexual is a legitimate orientation and that this applies to me.
There is one major factor which hampers awareness of asexuality. Schoolkids who haven't reached sexual maturity saying "I'm ( some age below consent in the country concerned) and I haven't had sex or a crush or a kiss yet, so I'm asexual" Some are accepting their orientation, I congratulate them for realising so early, but most discover their true sexuality between 14 and 18 when their bodies and brains start to mature.
To be honest it really brasses me off when you hear " I'm 14 and a virgin I must be asexual" whatever gender

Re: Does increased visibility lead to more doubt?

Posted: Sat Jan 09, 2016 3:08 pm
by CatBunny
I am completely ashamed caitlyn jenner seems to be the new LGBT star and she seems like an asshole from what i've heard. Also now she's using asexuality as a place holder until she can find a "real" label for herself.

Re: Does increased visibility lead to more doubt?

Posted: Sun Jan 10, 2016 3:01 pm
by PiF
I saw that..she refers to it in a way like I feel as a holding cell till she decides what will sell more tv hours next week.

I think she first started this off late last summer ... ty-6183976

I must admit not to being a fan of the whole Kardtrashian circus. She certainly has raised the trans awareness but for me it's in a way similar to Trump raising Muslim issues awareness .... and having heard some of the things she has said about gay and trans people just had me face palming.

Re: Does increased visibility lead to more doubt?

Posted: Sat Feb 20, 2016 4:02 am
by PiF
I read a few articles by a lady called Julie Bindel who claims to be a lesbian feminist..she is also a reporter and collumist

She said this about trans.... "I don't have a problem with men disposing of their genitals, but it does not make them women, in the same way that shoving a bit of vacuum hose down your 501s [jeans] does not make you a man."

Now..if your after visibility then this article is great...but if your after accuracy then this article isn't great

It surprised me that the more I read about the lgbt, the more I see people having issues with trans being included within the term lgbt..Although I wouldn't agree with the terms she used, I do have some sympathy with the message given the damage the grey sexuals and desirists groups are doing to Asexuality

she also added this to which I certianly agree with

She said... that as a longtime active member of the lesbian community she felt uncomfortable with the increasing inclusion of sexuality and gender-variant communities into the expanding LGBT "rainbow alliance": "The mantra now at 'gay' meetings is a tongue-twisting LGBTQQI. It is all a bit of an unholy alliance. We have been put in a room together and told to play nicely."

so we go down the visibility route of being all encompassing and you get to the embarrassingly cringeworthy inclusionism that came out of Wesleyan University (David Jays university as if by some mad coincidence :lol: )who used the initialism LGBTTQQFAGPBDSM for "lesbian, gay, bisexual, transgender, transsexual, queer, questioning, flexual,asexual, gender-fuck, polyamorous, bondage/discipline, dominance/submission, and sadism/masochism"

So simply inclusionism and incorrect visibility rarely brings positive affirmation but can often bring ridicule and doubt and largely push away the main group/reason for that group in favour of every man and his dog

Visibility can be just as damaging when done wrong as it can be positive when done right. We in the asexual community still have many things to learn about doing this right and the first step is actually promoting correct asexuality

Re: Does increased visibility lead to more doubt?

Posted: Fri Feb 26, 2016 4:29 pm
by CatBunny
I can never understand why fetish stuff is included in the lgbt criteria. There has been so much evidence that fetishes are acquired and purely psychological it seems almost counter-intuitive.

Re: Does increased visibility lead to more doubt?

Posted: Thu Mar 10, 2016 1:53 pm
by PiF
Agreed..most fetish and S & M stuff is as equally appllied to sexuals as well as seems to me to be more about passion, being a hobby, an addiction, a control based orgasm etc certianly not an orientation.