Hey - a bit of a first time confession about me...

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agirlfromwales
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Hey - a bit of a first time confession about me...

Postby agirlfromwales » Mon Mar 23, 2009 3:41 pm

Hey, I've just watched a programme on Asexuality and its lead me to find this site. Therefore I would like to announce for the first time in my life... "I do not like sex!"
Although I am a little scared by all this, I thought one day I might learn to like sex, maybe I just hadn't met the right man. After looking at peoples stories now don't know what to think. IS this me too?
I've gotten to the point of avoiding any potential relationships and making excuses when people insist on setting me up with there friends because I know its gonna end in them wanting to have sex. I'll generally oblige at the beginning of a relationship as its what your meant to do, but after a couple if weeks i start making excuses, Then it turns to arguments, then I end up in tears thinking about what a freak I am because I don't want to be having sex. Its come to the point its easier to avoid any of this than to deal with it again.
I do want a boyfriend I can cuddle with and watch tv with and share my life with, I just dread the going to bed part. Does this make me asexual? or am I still just under the freak category?! the other thing that does worry me is, I do want to get married and have kids, and to do that I need to keep a man, to keep a man I need to have sex. :wah:
I'm not really sure if these are the kinda posts your after on this site or if I'll be brave enough to come back to it again but it is the first time I've said anything like this publicly and it feels good to know there is a little hope without sex!

f/25/wales

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Noskcaj.Llahsram
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Re: Hey - a bit of a first time confession about me...

Postby Noskcaj.Llahsram » Mon Mar 23, 2009 5:23 pm

Let be the first to welcome you,
You found us through a t.v. programme? That seems like a very twisty road to end up hear, I assume this isn't among the ase sites
What is love? Well, you know that feeling you get when you've been locked in a tiny dark space alone for a year? It's kind of the opposite of that.

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ily
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Re: Hey - a bit of a first time confession about me...

Postby ily » Mon Mar 23, 2009 6:50 pm

Welcome! Was this the show on BBC3?
Don't worry, I think most of us are kind of confused when we first discover asexuality. I realized I was ase about 4 years ago. I was actually pretty worried about it at the time, for similar reasons to you. But now, I'm fine with it-- it takes time. I think what's important is creating a life that fits who you are, not trying to change yourself.

Karl
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Re: Hey - a bit of a first time confession about me...

Postby Karl » Tue Mar 24, 2009 12:43 am

Welcome, agirlfromwales. I have to say that your story sounds similar to my own in a lot of ways, though I'm sure you'll find it heartening to know that I am now married to a like-minded individual who I met through the asexual community, so all hope for you is not lost, I can assure you!

Do tell us more about this TV show that led you here...

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Dargon
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Re: Hey - a bit of a first time confession about me...

Postby Dargon » Tue Mar 24, 2009 10:36 am

Hello and welcome. Your story isn't uncommon around the asexual community, I hope you find what you are looking for here.

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ghosts
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Re: Hey - a bit of a first time confession about me...

Postby ghosts » Tue Mar 24, 2009 1:01 pm

Welcome to the board! You're not alone, & you're not a freak. We've heard a lot of similar stories & feelings from people within the asexual community. I know it can be overwhelming & confusing at first, but give it some time. I hope you'll stick around!