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Salianna
New Member
Posts: 2
Joined: Thu Jan 07, 2010 10:29 am

Hello

Postby Salianna » Thu Jan 07, 2010 11:44 am

Hello,

Well, I suppose I should tell you something about me. My username is Salianna but you can call me Anna. This is not my real name but has always been my favourite name and I often use it as a pen name. I'm 19 and live in the UK.

I first learned of Apositive from a magazine article a few years ago, where I also learned of AVEN. Being younger then, my sexuality was not much on my mind. It was only two years ago that I found the old article- I'm a hoarder of magazines and I keep issues dating back years- and came to the site. For a while I was a lurker but I just went back to the AVEN FAQ's and I found they made more sense than they had a year ago. It was like they were describing me exactly so I thought I'd register and start writing something.

I'm quite weird and proud to be so. I've always been far more happy in my own company and still don't socialise easily. The constant mandatory requirement to be downstairs with the family, when I routinely live in my room, is my sole issue with Christmas and I'm the same in public. I get on ok with adults but literally repel people my own age. This was never more evident than when I briefly attended a new school. For a few days, I attracted as much interest as the other newcomers but after the first week, I was left alone, as invisible as I had been for five years before that at my last school. This, of course, means that I've never dated anyone. I was the only student in my year to flatly refuse to attend my school prom, as I knew I'd loathe every second of it.

I've had one holiday fling- and I mean that in the very broadest sense of the word- at about 15 and the whole romance thing- flirting, kissing, touching- I kind of enjoy, but I don't feel the need to seek it if it's not offered and anything further leaves me totally cold. So I like the romance but not the sex. Am I alone in this? I imagine asexuality not as an absolute but as a kind of scale, with full sex being the final point. I'm somewhere far to the left of that but I wouldn't turn down a kiss and cuddle, if it was offered.

So that's me, an antisocial loner, fairly sure by now that I'm asexual, but not averse to some romance, within my limits. I have, though, yet to figure out who I wish to be with. I'm ok with being asexual but I do think it complicates choosing a partner. Feeling sexually attracted to one or both genders would provide the answer, yet I don't. My ideal relationship is like a friendship, only far closer and more emotional than that. And the idea of being with a woman is equally as ok to me in that respect as a man. But then I wonder if I'm only thinking that way because I've subconsciously convinced myself it would be easier to be with a woman as sex would be less of an issue. I hate to write so much, you're no doubt bored, but I'm pretty confused and could use the advice. Am I the only one with this dilemma?

So that's your weird introduction to the weird world of weird me. I look forward to being part of this group. And I'll mostly be reading only, so you shouldn't have to endure too many weird posts.

Anna

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Dargon
Mega Member
Posts: 516
Joined: Sat Jan 26, 2008 7:34 pm

Re: Hello

Postby Dargon » Thu Jan 07, 2010 1:33 pm

Hello and Welcome.

That intro is far from weird, in fact, I can relate to much of the school experience. Even at family gatherings (most my family lives about 1800 miles away, so I do not see them often), I tended to conversate with the uncles and aunts rather than the cousins.

As for the romantic desire, it is actually fairly common for asexuals to experience romantic desire and attraction, despite a lack of sexual attraction. A frequently used model, one that I am a fan of, differentiates romantic and sexual orientation. Most people have the same on both, so it seems redundant for the majority of the population, but from the sounds of it, I would likely consider you a biromantic asexual.

Again, welcome, and I hope you like it here.

Jicragg
Established Member
Posts: 80
Joined: Wed Dec 02, 2009 12:42 pm

Re: Hello

Postby Jicragg » Fri Jan 08, 2010 4:52 am

Hello and welcome.

I'll have to agree with Dargon: you sound like a biromantic asexual to me. Though I should point out there are non-binary people and if you're okay with dating them aswell that's called: panromantic.

Don't feel as though sex is a huge problem that must pop up its head in any romantic relationship you decide to enter: it doesn't. Find somebody who feels the same way you do about sex and you will never have to worry about it.

As for preferring cuddles over sex, again I'm afraid to say you're not that weird, because I feel the same way. I enjoy being physically and emotionally close to someone and for me cuddles are an expression of love (which is how sex is viewed within married couples, I believe). The same goes for hand holding, massages and some light kisses.

Again welcome Anna-Not-As-Weird-As-She-Thinks-She-Is. Asexual romance is on the increase. I am sending you wishes that you find somebody you're comfortable with.

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KAGU143
Administrator
Posts: 1302
Joined: Sat Jan 05, 2008 1:09 pm

Re: Hello

Postby KAGU143 » Fri Jan 08, 2010 11:42 am

Hi Anna,
Let me hop on board and second (third?) what Dargon and Jicragg have said --
You don't sound weird at all!

And a big Welcome to Apositive!
If you can't say something nice, don't say anything at all.

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AFlyingPiglet
New Member
Posts: 18
Joined: Wed Sep 09, 2009 1:19 pm

Re: Hello

Postby AFlyingPiglet » Wed Jan 13, 2010 11:54 am

Welcome to the what I would call a world of normality! :)

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Noskcaj.Llahsram
Regular Member
Posts: 179
Joined: Wed Jan 23, 2008 9:40 pm

Re: Hello

Postby Noskcaj.Llahsram » Fri Jan 15, 2010 6:35 pm

The only differences between us is what we consider the same...
I'm sure after you hang around here for a little bit you'll see that we all have a little bit of that [asocial, loner, isolationist, romantic, etc.] streak from time to time, I'm currently in the middle of one twenty years long and continental wide.
So welcome, come in, sit down, stay while; I'm sure we'll all get along
What is love? Well, you know that feeling you get when you've been locked in a tiny dark space alone for a year? It's kind of the opposite of that.