Just joined today, thought I was alone

Introduce yourself to the community here.
SLIDERS21
New Member
Posts: 2
Joined: Sun Sep 25, 2011 9:14 pm

Just joined today, thought I was alone

Postby SLIDERS21 » Sun Sep 25, 2011 9:26 pm

My name is James and I just found this site today. I am so happy to have found it. I am 54, gay and have not had relations in the last 15 years nor do I want any. Question: am I a true Asexual if I like to hug, cuddle and hold someone in my arms? I do get a rise out of the situation but everytime it only lasts for a bit then goes away. I like to look and touch, but thats about it, after about 10 minutes I am bored with the whole thought of doing anything else. I'd rather just lay there and hold someone close to me. I love to flirt, but again, it goes for a few minutes then ends. Maybe I should class myself as something different? I don't know. Can anyone shed some light on this and let me know. I'd like to find someone who is like me and have a possible LTL one day [friends 1st]. Am I normal? I thought I had been alone and now see I am not, so I have questions. Constructive thoughts and or ideas anyone? Thanks. Yours, James T

User avatar
Dargon
Mega Member
Posts: 516
Joined: Sat Jan 26, 2008 7:34 pm

Re: Just joined today, thought I was alone

Postby Dargon » Mon Sep 26, 2011 6:19 am

Hello and Welcome.

While I don't personally relate to your story, let me assure you it is not the first I have heard like that. There are plenty of asexuals who like non-sexual physical affection and the closeness of a relationship. In the end, it's up to you whether or not you choose to adopt the asexual label.

Hope to see you around the forum.

michaels
Super Member
Posts: 251
Joined: Sat Apr 16, 2011 8:11 am

Re: Just joined today, thought I was alone

Postby michaels » Mon Sep 26, 2011 12:48 pm

Lots of aces (asexuals) enjoy nonsexual physical intimacies. They also have varying satisfaction thresholds, with some needing constant contact and others being happy with one handshake a week, and everything in between. What you describe is perfectly compatible with being asexual.

Do you have romantic needs? Meaning, do you want romance without sex? That's a different question from whether you want physical intimacy. It might help clarify where you stand and make finding a compatible partner easier.

SLIDERS21
New Member
Posts: 2
Joined: Sun Sep 25, 2011 9:14 pm

Re: Just joined today, thought I was alone

Postby SLIDERS21 » Mon Sep 26, 2011 8:22 pm

Hello Michaels, thank you for your post. Yes, I want romance in my life, I do have romantic needs as in candle lite dinners, country drives holding hands, slow dancing, hugs, cuddles and maybe [maybe] light kissing [although sometimes not so much] Someone told me that I most likely am a asexual-homoromantic. Which makes some sense to me. I do feel better now though Michaels since I read more on the subject. Thank you. I hope others will share something on this as well. Night and sweet dreams. james t

User avatar
FalconEagle
Established Member
Posts: 55
Joined: Mon Oct 19, 2009 10:18 am

Re: Just joined today, thought I was alone

Postby FalconEagle » Wed Sep 28, 2011 12:02 pm

Welcome. :)