Hello- I'm a little adrift

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Hello- I'm a little adrift

Postby Iamala » Mon May 28, 2012 3:16 am

I have just joined here looking for something to cling onto having had the sudden realisation I am asexual slam into me. I'm about to turn nineteen and have never really been interested in sexual contact, I've never had a boyfriend or kissed, but I attended an all girls school and so reason it as that I might be a late bloomer so to speak and I would probably feel it what I met the right person.

Also- I've worn a purity ring for a few years now. I made the decision when I was fifteen after much thought, reading and debate with myself about what it could mean for relationships, what if I did like someone, I would b=have to be convinced enough to stand behind my decision, and came to the conclusion that yes, I believed sex a binding thing to be shared with your love only, everything saved for them and intimacy was a deeper connection thus. I still believe that.

But when researching a medical term I came across a photograph of male arousal and... to be honest, I found it repulsive. So, out of curiosity I thought to investigate what sex actually looks like male/female/whatever and... well, I found it as far from arousing as possible and suddenly realised I didn't ever want to do that, I found it... well, repulsive and uncomfortable.

So now I'm a bit... 'oh' about it and have no idea what to do with myself. I've always wanted to adopt children in the future so that bit's not so hard, I'm just wondering what the heck do I do if I fall for someone who wants intercourse or something.

I apologise for rambling. On a more introductory note- I'm just about to turn nineteen living in the north of England with a little brother I adore and friends I am very close to. I love to be tactile but it appears that is it. I am sorry if this is a little strange for an introduction post.

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Re: Hello- I'm a little adrift

Postby KAGU143 » Mon May 28, 2012 9:34 pm

You're not strange at all! :D
Welcome to Apositive, Iamala, and feel free to ramble on.

At 19, you are still in a sort of grey area, age-wise, to where you *might* later decide that you were just a late bloomer, or you might very legitimately be asexual. It certainly does no harm to find out more about asexuality as well as other kinds of sexuality in the meantime, and to see how you feel as you learn more about the variety of human sexualities. Even asexuals come in a variety of types, with some having romantic attractions and some having none, and with some being attracted to one gender or the other while some have little or no preference.
We live in an interesting world. :P
If you can't say something nice, don't say anything at all.


Re: Hello- I'm a little adrift

Postby ASIC » Wed May 30, 2012 5:54 am

I'd have to agree with KAGU143 - eighteen is really a bit early to be certain about anything sexually (even if you are living in a world that expects sexual confidence from your early teens). I was 'repulsed' until I was nineteen - then I discovered that I was very sexual indeed with the right person; it's possible that if/when you do fall for somebody you might discover you do want intercourse in that specific context after all, even if you don't fancy it in a general sort of way.

Meanwhile you certainly don't have to feel pressurized into doing anything boring and/or repulsive just out of conformity; one thing you've discovered already is that purity and fidelity are very easy if your biology happens to work that way (although you may feel this is cheating :-)