Trees are asexual...aren't they?

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StrangeCreature
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Trees are asexual...aren't they?

Postby StrangeCreature » Wed Nov 13, 2013 2:30 am

Alright, I admit, that was a silly topic title, now wasn't it?

This introduction was copied and pasted from a post I made on another forum, but with minor edits.

Hello, I am NoxNoctisArbor...although I have no idea whether that is in the correct order in Latin. It means "Night Tree". I'm extremely connected to nature, and absolutely love trees. Some would even call me a literal tree hugger. On other boards, however, I go by CrepuscularNocturnal, which describes my natural circadian rhythm. "Crepuscular" means active during dawn and dusk. "Nocturnal", I am sure, is self-explanatory. I'm 24 and female.

I believe I am an asexual fetishist, and most likely aromantic...or so I seem to believe at this time. I became active once again on AVEN not long ago, due to resurfacing questions about potentially being aromantic (or asexual, or both). I don't think I'm terribly attractive, but A LOT of people like me in that way...at least, males do. At times, I would be balancing multiple guys at once. That is to say, I was a "cheater". (I literally just broke up with a boyfriend I was cheating on simply because it was wrong leading him on. I also just broke up with the other guy, partly because I have no interest in him, and even moreso because all he seemed to want was to get me "in bed".) I think a lot of the time, cheating was an attempt on my part to actually feel something, combined with boredom. I have from time to time felt a warm, horny feeling around a guy or girl, but when I spoke to my therapist, she seems to think that what I described sounds more like sexual attraction than romantic...and yet, I have no desire to have actual sex with them. The more I think about it, the more I start to wonder if this "horny" feeling isn't real, since I was obsessed with the idea of feeling some sort of attraction to people when I was younger, and would often attempt to pretend I was into them, when I wasn't...I never really even knew what sexual attraction is. In the past, I have actually described myself as completely fetish sexual. The only thing I honestly want, is them to cater to my fetish. I have no interest in people sexually otherwise. I also want romance, but I can't seem to experience it. Every time I try to date someone, I lose all feelings, and grow tired of them. I often try to convince myself I love them, but this ultimately fails, and I lose interest completely. This can happen in as short a period of time as a few days...It's as if I like to experience new feelings, even if I don't really have those feelings...Sometimes I wonder if I should just have some very close friends who are willing to cater to a fetish of mine. I may want romance, but sometimes what you want isn't what's best for you.

Anyway, good to be here! I hope to learn some!

(As a side note, I'm bipolar, and am in the process of lowering my meds...I've been a tad depressed here and there, so please be understanding. Thanks!)

Harmony
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Re: Trees are asexual...aren't they?

Postby Harmony » Wed Nov 13, 2013 6:05 am

Welcome! I hope the change in meds amount helps relieve your depression.

Now on topic! I would suggest finding someone who is into your fetish as much as you are and see how things fall out from there. I know a couple made up of a guy who isn't into shagging and a female who claims to be a lesbian. They both share the same kink thrill. She would never do the kink thing with a female and he would never consider doing the kink thing with a male and/or a female who also wanted to shag. So their compatibility in this area as well as their respect and support for each other has led them to partner up long term. But if you look at all the orientation labels too closely, it doesn't make sense for an asexual guy and a lesbian woman to be in a heterosexual relationship based on something other than "the deed"! However, their relationship has lasted much longer than most of their friends. Maybe, just maybe, if others weren't so concerned with whether they were sexual or asexual, romantic or aromantic, etc. ... and focused on what they really wanted, possibly the "what" will answer more questions than the "how". Does that make sense?


.

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StrangeCreature
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Re: Trees are asexual...aren't they?

Postby StrangeCreature » Wed Nov 13, 2013 6:15 am

Thanks for the welcome, Harmony!

Honestly, I've been thinking that having a bunch of friends who can be just that...platonic friends...but no relationship otherwise. I think it'd be best for me to have a few of these friends be willing to cater to my fetish. I really can't stay in relationships, from what I can see so far, since I lack that attraction otherwise. The problem, though, with finding someone who shares my fetish is that, while there are most definitely others who have the same fetish, it's a relatively rare fetish, and a lot of people on forums for fetishes (the only place I can think to look) have been creepy.

Ciri
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Re: Trees are asexual...aren't they?

Postby Ciri » Wed Nov 13, 2013 6:45 am

Hi! I think I recognise you from somewhere :p

I've been on fetlife before. I originally joined to create a kink involving myself and a sex repulsed aven person to creep him out (and it was really funny). He didn't take too kindly to it. Haha. Totally worth it but then I started getting PMs that creeped me out. I guess that's called Karma.

My ideal relationship would be a housemate who doesn't have any other friends. Or long distance. Although I may want a relationship because I'm unlikely to get my ideal relationship unless I turn into a control sadistic sociopath, I don't have the drive to go out and find one. I don't care that much. With sex it's like "people have a biological need? Why can't they just jack off." Apparently, it doesn't work like that o.o On top of that I don't quite understand partnered sex for pleasure ~ I do it because I'm lazy, not for the other person.

I wish more people would just marry their platonic best friend because that's more likely to last. Lust and love can run out.
You're all dead and I'm your eternal punishment.

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StrangeCreature
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Re: Trees are asexual...aren't they?

Postby StrangeCreature » Wed Nov 13, 2013 8:18 am

Ciri wrote:Hi! I think I recognise you from somewhere :p


Haha! Yep! Nice to see a familiar face (or avatar...name...whatever)! :)

Ciri wrote:I wish more people would just marry their platonic best friend because that's more likely to last. Lust and love can run out.


I agree. That wouldn't be a bad idea...Granted, I am pretty queerplatonic, I think, which would make that tough.

runester
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Re: Trees are asexual...aren't they?

Postby runester » Wed Nov 13, 2013 7:41 pm

Hello "Noctis Arbor"!
I enjoyed your introduction very much. I believe that trees are sentient beings, and would like to discuss that at some future time.

Also, I am new to posting on this website, but am just kind of 'jumping into the fray'. "Ciri's" idea about people marrying their platonic best friend is terrific; if indeed, marriage is seemingly a worthwhile part of one's life! True and honest friendship is the finest gift one can give to another. :halo:

PiF
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Re: Trees are asexual...aren't they?

Postby PiF » Thu Nov 14, 2013 2:30 am

I suppose it gives meaning to the term....I have got wood

welcome

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StrangeCreature
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Re: Trees are asexual...aren't they?

Postby StrangeCreature » Thu Nov 14, 2013 7:13 am

Thanks for the welcomes thus far! :)

Runester, I feel the same way. You could even go as far as to say that I revere trees.

PiF, I was afraid that my name might give off that impression, but if it gave you a laugh, then that's okay. :P
Last edited by StrangeCreature on Thu Nov 14, 2013 6:10 pm, edited 1 time in total.

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KAGU143
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Re: Trees are asexual...aren't they?

Postby KAGU143 » Thu Nov 14, 2013 11:10 am

Hi NoctisArbor, and welcome to Apositive. :)

Trees are highly evolved life forms and I like them a lot. I'm fortunate to have quite a few of them sharing my living space. I don't actually know how many there are since I've never counted them, but I have a few personal favorites, including two mature Pacific dogwoods, an enormous Bigleaf Maple with 7 separate trunks, a Vine Maple, and - even though it isn't a native and it's only about 6 feet tall - a young Monkey Puzzle tree. (You would NOT want to hug this one - trust me on that!)
Oh! And my Liberty apple tree! I'm very fond of that one, too. Soooo many trees .... wow. I can never leave this place!

As for fetishes and how they relate to asexuality? Well, I don't feel very well qualified to say anything on that topic, but I will be interested in hearing what others might contribute.
If you can't say something nice, don't say anything at all.

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StrangeCreature
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Re: Trees are asexual...aren't they?

Postby StrangeCreature » Thu Nov 14, 2013 2:13 pm

Thanks for the welcome, Kagu!

I looked up Monkey Puzzle trees on Google. You are definitely right. I don't want to hug one of those, as much as I hate to admit it! :P

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SuperAwesomeSpammer
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Re: Trees are asexual...aren't they?

Postby SuperAwesomeSpammer » Fri Nov 15, 2013 6:45 pm

Yo. Nice 2 meet u.

PiF
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Re: Trees are asexual...aren't they?

Postby PiF » Wed Dec 04, 2013 1:17 am

NoctisArbor wrote:Thanks for the welcomes thus far! :)

Runester, I feel the same way. You could even go as far as to say that I revere trees.

PiF, I was afraid that my name might give off that impression, but if it gave you a laugh, then that's okay. :P



It wasn't the name but the love the trees bit, but welcome if your still around :D