So I am really thinking I'm asexual fetishist and aromantic, but I have a few questions that keep arising. I know I'm on the spectrum for sure, It just seems to come down to definitions. I thought I would place this topic here, since a lot of asexuals and aromantics have never dated, and I figured I might get some more responses here.
For one, I see some girls as "eye candy". I don't really want to do anything, and when I've tried it's...ehhhh. I hate kissing guys, and with girls I'm pretty indifferent. Sometimes it's okay. Porn freaks me out. Nothing about it is pleasant, and I've never understood it's allure. I hate bodily fluids too...It's just the fact that I find people hot on occasion that gets me...Otherwise I don't really think about sex. Again, eye-candy.
As for romance, I looked at more definitions of squish vs. crush. I think I get squishes...maybe. I might blush a little with strong ones, but otherwise...I just want to be very close with them, and do stuff with them. I don't want to kiss them or any sex, or anything. In fact, sex is so far from my mind. When I have dated, I get uncomfortable if they get clingy, want to kiss, want to cuddle, and the like. It just gets to be too much. It doesn't feel right to me...Which is weird, because I have struggled with how much I want to get married one day, but even in my fantasies, I seem to lack feelings. I don't even know what love feels like in those terms. It seems foreign. Every time I have dated, I have gotten a brief form of infatuation, that may or may not be platonic, but end up realizing I have no interest in said person very quickly. I seem incapable of romantic love. I've tried. Still, I'm baffled by my teenage experiences of "love", but even then, I didn't find relationships that fulfilling other than close friendships....and I wanted to date as status back then. I "loved" guys, but didn't like kissing, or cuddling. I just enjoyed hanging out, talking, and doing stuff with them.
I'm not really sure how to conclude this post, exactly, other than with asking those who have any thoughts on this to please comment. Thanks!
General discussion about relationship issues.
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