Can asexuals have relationships with sexuals

General discussion about relationship issues.
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PiF
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Joined: 14 Nov 2011, 22:47

Can asexuals have relationships with sexuals

Postby PiF » 17 Jan 2015, 10:43

Of course they can silly

Now in my normal basic discussion that would be enough to cover the point however as people value numbers over accuracy I'll indulge a bit further

Again let me clarify...asexuality is the lack of sexual attraction..it is not the lack of ability, not a lack of want (for mostly partner pleasure reasons) nor is it an inability to relate to others within a relationship.

Firstly a missconception I often see..."If only I could find another asexual, I know I could make a relationship work".....this is bolloxs to be honest.

Asexuality is just a very small part of who you are and even then within asexuals there are some that are sex positive, some that are sexually repulsed, some that are aromantic..and the list goes on...if you can find a compatible person for a relationship and they happen to be asexual then your lottery numbers may have come up..but...even compatible people sometimes have rows, down days, differences etc and you must accept within any relationship ....these exist...two asexuals is just unlikely/likely to succeed as two sexuals or a sexual and an asexual

So given the small number of real asexuals...I still feel it's way less than 1%...then it is probably going to be a relationship with a sexual person.....ooo nooo they all want sex all the timmmmmmmeeeeeee...here is a hint..they don't

If your really lucky and I do mean lucky..you will find a person..asexual or sexual..with whom you will have more compatible days than not.

Are their difficulties...in one area there may be discussion...you cannot assume every asexual does not want sex..(again there is a difference between wanting sex to please a partner and the lack of sexual attraction) and you cannot assume every sexual wants to hump every 5 minutes...in fact with sexuals in a relationship with other sexuals...in general the longer they stay together the less they tend to have sex.

Again it comes back to compatibility...look through a certain forum and you will see some asexuals demanding their sexual partners respect their asexuality..again they confuse having sex with the lack of sexual attraction. In demanding a sexual partner abide by your way of life that isn't a partnership...that is you controlling your partner. How can you demand they respect you when you ignore them and their wishes????? sexuals have an equal stake in that relationship working. Again..asexuality is the lack of sexual attraction.....not an inability to compromise.

Again this comes back to compatibility and the secret of any relationship...achieving as many compromises as you both wish to offer, in the hope you get it right more times than not.

An asexual and sexual relationship is very unlikely to fail just on asexuality alone, many many more factors will be responsible...in the same gesture though.... being an asexual in a relationship with a sexual can be just as rewarding as any other

Most of my own relationships have been with sexuals, I say most. I always declare my asexuality at the earliest possible stage if for no other reason than to give the other person the respect I would wish at the outset. I am sex positive but have always preferred a cup of tea over a shag...most have been willing to understand my identity as I have of theirs and with all but a few, we have managed to reach an understanding way to compromise and move forward on with the relationship

Relationships wether your asexual or sexual are like having a bank account....you only get back what you put in

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Narnia
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Joined: 06 Dec 2013, 04:42

Re: Can asexuals have relationships with sexuals

Postby Narnia » 17 Jan 2015, 23:06

So much common sense! There's little to nothing I can add. I agree that asexuals view of sexuals permanently thinking about and wanting sex is a false one, probably comes from the many reports that men think of sex every so many seconds but that's stupid, most of the men I've been out with gave more consideration to sport :D
Like you I could have sex with my partners - it was much easier when I'd had a few drinks but I don't drink any more. Just as well I've given up on relationships...or have they given up on me? And yes, there are many things I'd rather do than have sex but that's part of the accommodation you make whem you think a lot of someone - or in my case trying to keep someone as I didn't want to be alone.


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