How many rebound relationships does a recently divorcee have

General discussion about relationship issues.
andrenell

How many rebound relationships does a recently divorcee have

Postby andrenell » 15 Nov 2010, 17:59

There is no real answer because a person can have rebound relationships the rest of their lives, or they can figure out what went wrong in a relationship - whether it was their fault or their partners that ended the relationship - and do things to change those things. A person might get into a relationship that lasts for years but if there is still a ghost from the prior relationship, the present one will either not work or will be painful for one or both.
A recent divorcee needs to ask questions of themselves and find the answers, and depending upon the answers, may well never have a rebound relationship but rather one that works.

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KAGU143
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Re: How many rebound relationships does a recently divorcee have

Postby KAGU143 » 16 Nov 2010, 05:16

Hi Andrenell, and welcome to Apositive.
'Interesting opening post!

I think you are right in saying that recently divorced people can have a variety of types or quantities of rebound relationships. Actually, it doesn't even have to be divorce. The ending of any close relationship can leave people in an emotionally vulnerable state and that can cause them to enter into inappropriate relationships.
Some people never seem to be able to break that cycle but others do. It seems to depend on the individual person's willingness (or ability) to honestly evaluate their own emotional needs and expectations and to balance them against the emotional needs and expectations of their potential partners.

It sounds easy, but in reality it is extremely difficult.
If you can't say something nice, don't say anything at all.

fridayoak
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Re: How many rebound relationships does a recently divorcee have

Postby fridayoak » 16 Nov 2010, 12:26

I've never been married but I've had this happen to me, albeit subconsciously, as I've entered new relationships seemingly at ease with the previous one's demise only for when the next relationship ends I find myself missing my previous partner rather than the one I've just finished with. It's happened more than once, and I find it very disconcerting as it comes as a big shock to the system, you think you're over someone and then suddenly you start missing/thinking about them after a subsequent relationship, it's very odd, I don't know what to make of it really. So they're not rebound relationships cos I figured I was completely over the person. I guess maybe the mind just automatically goes back to a time when I was most happy/comfortable in a relationship, so it's not that I'm not over them and shouldn't move on, more that it's just reminding me of better times or something?


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KAGU143
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Re: How many rebound relationships does a recently divorcee have

Postby KAGU143 » 17 Nov 2010, 08:09

Wow ... good catch, Ghosts!

I think a spammer has managed to slip through my net ... but it's a weird one, isn't it?
'Hails from New Delhi, India, so that much is normal, but it is missing the usual link in the signature. Hmmmm ...
Oh well. I think I will make an exception and leave the post in place.
*goes to get the adminly forum-plucking forceps*
If you can't say something nice, don't say anything at all.

fridayoak
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Re: How many rebound relationships does a recently divorcee have

Postby fridayoak » 17 Nov 2010, 08:55

I figured it wasn't for real cos there was no welcoming post so its an odd first post for someone to make.

But it just happened to coincide with exactly how I'd been feeling this week and the sort of things that were going on in my head. So a spammer, but one with good timing at least :clap:

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Dargon
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Re: How many rebound relationships does a recently divorcee have

Postby Dargon » 17 Nov 2010, 09:55

I figured it was a spam post, and figured that was the usual welcome to see if they responded; a basic Turing test for the OP. Needless to say ghost's sluth work has found the culprit. Perhaps googling the text of suspected spammers can unmask them quicker.

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ghosts
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Re: How many rebound relationships does a recently divorcee have

Postby ghosts » 18 Nov 2010, 02:47

I was wondering why spammers do things like that... They had a period as their signature, but no link attached to it.

But yeah, it sounded odd, so googling the text is a good way to find out where else it's been posted.

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KAGU143
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Re: How many rebound relationships does a recently divorcee have

Postby KAGU143 » 18 Nov 2010, 07:08

I usually do an IP check and then run the username and the email past Google to see if anything unusual pops up.
For some reason I didn't do it on that one.
Maybe I wasn't fully caffeinated yet or something ... ? *sigh* But today we have two new members who appear to be real, honest-to-goodness people!
I think. (I totally hate proxy servers, BTW ... 'just sayin.)
If you can't say something nice, don't say anything at all.


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