
Fruit Wars Return!
Re: Fruit Wars Return!
But I secretely put laxatives in those very same grapefruit 

- TheGuvnorsMoll
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Re: Fruit Wars Return!
Good one. Actually, there was nothing wrong with my grapefruit or Doctor Ledin's as my seventh sense detected something was amiss so I charmed them.
Uncle Manf prefers to eat his own produce so he was unaffected.
For that brilliant move, you are excused punishment duties.
Now take that! (throws a volley of watermelons).
Uncle Manf prefers to eat his own produce so he was unaffected.
For that brilliant move, you are excused punishment duties.
Now take that! (throws a volley of watermelons).
'The best Government is that which governs least, if at all' - Henry David Thoreau.
Re: Fruit Wars Return!
Loads a load of cashews - double whammy...nuts will take your eye out and flesh will make you slip 
*This one looks pretty mad too
*

*This one looks pretty mad too

You lose nothing when fighting for a cause ... In my mind the losers are those who don't have a cause they care about. - Muhammad Ali
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Re: Fruit Wars Return!
Cashews are actually nuts! Save them for the Nut Wars in April.
'The best Government is that which governs least, if at all' - Henry David Thoreau.
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Re: Fruit Wars Return!
Yikes, I nearly missed this
arrives late on the fray launching pomegranate grenades
arrives late on the fray launching pomegranate grenades
Re: Fruit Wars Return!
Puts dragon fruit in everyone's shoes, now dance you fruit dance
Re: Fruit Wars Return!
PiF wrote:Grabs a load of hazelnuts and throws them on the forum floor to watch people slide andfall over
How is this different to cashews???
You lose nothing when fighting for a cause ... In my mind the losers are those who don't have a cause they care about. - Muhammad Ali
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Re: Fruit Wars Return!
Nuts are actually the fruits of various trees such as hazelnuts being the fruit of hazel trees. But fruit in the Wars is defined as being such as apples, lemons, oranges and similar. Uncle Manfred is 143 years old and very pedantic and traditionalist. But the talk of nuts has created the Nut Wars in April which will let you throw nuts to your heart's content.
Have some guavas as a parting shot!
Fruit Wars now over for another year. Thank you all very much for coming.
Have some guavas as a parting shot!
Fruit Wars now over for another year. Thank you all very much for coming.
'The best Government is that which governs least, if at all' - Henry David Thoreau.
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Re: Fruit Wars Return!
They will, Donna, but next year. There is are specific seasons for each war. This is to give the factions breathing space and time to arm themselves.
'The best Government is that which governs least, if at all' - Henry David Thoreau.
Re: Fruit Wars Return!
I have a nagging feeling that Donna might be a spammer. I'm not taking any action at this point because I'm not 100% sure, but I have some serious doubts about the validity of her account.
If you can't say something nice, don't say anything at all.
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Re: Fruit Wars Return!
Listen up, you Freds!
Ultra special Fruit Wars beginning next Saturday (25th). Ultra special because that date is Doctor Ledin's 65th birthday. Auntie Brin is coming over specially from America. And you can bet the good Doctor has something lined up for y'all.
Be there with your fruits and remember the rules!
Ultra special Fruit Wars beginning next Saturday (25th). Ultra special because that date is Doctor Ledin's 65th birthday. Auntie Brin is coming over specially from America. And you can bet the good Doctor has something lined up for y'all.
Be there with your fruits and remember the rules!
'The best Government is that which governs least, if at all' - Henry David Thoreau.
Re: Fruit Wars Return!
I can't wait!
As an American, I really look forward to smashing a wide variety of orange things.
As an American, I really look forward to smashing a wide variety of orange things.
If you can't say something nice, don't say anything at all.
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Re: Fruit Wars Return!
You'll get more than your chance, Nancy. I need to show my lung disease who's Chief around here!
'The best Government is that which governs least, if at all' - Henry David Thoreau.
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Re: Fruit Wars Return!
Right, you Freds, Fruit Wars are BACK!
Tomas is 65 today and Great Uncle Manfred is 144. To celebrate, have a barrage of kumquats on me!
*throws kumquats*
Tomas is 65 today and Great Uncle Manfred is 144. To celebrate, have a barrage of kumquats on me!
*throws kumquats*
'The best Government is that which governs least, if at all' - Henry David Thoreau.
Re: Fruit Wars Return!
I will match your kumquats and raise you by 150 loquats launched from a catapult.
They are seedy and orange, so they shall be squished!
They are seedy and orange, so they shall be squished!
If you can't say something nice, don't say anything at all.
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Re: Fruit Wars Return!
I'm still completely stoned from the booze at the party, especially as Tomas kept spiking my already strong drink with obsidian and baínneflower extract (bloody lethal!).
But not too stoned to give you this! (fires a load of rambutans).
But not too stoned to give you this! (fires a load of rambutans).
'The best Government is that which governs least, if at all' - Henry David Thoreau.
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Re: Fruit Wars Return!
The celebrations were great! Doctor Magnificat was dancing with Auntie Brin.
Have some Sharon fruit in recognition of this! (aims the Sharon fruit).
Have some Sharon fruit in recognition of this! (aims the Sharon fruit).
'The best Government is that which governs least, if at all' - Henry David Thoreau.
Re: Fruit Wars Return!
I'm going to have to find out what these odd fruits are.
I can't decide whether to launch them or eat them. That probably means that I should be thinking about dinner.
Meanwhile . . .
*carefully lines up a long row of mangoes and pokes them full of cloves*
I'm not going to say what I'm planning to do with them because they aren't finished yet. My package of durians is essential to finish this weapon, and they're lost in the mail for some reason . . . *sigh*
I can't decide whether to launch them or eat them. That probably means that I should be thinking about dinner.
Meanwhile . . .
*carefully lines up a long row of mangoes and pokes them full of cloves*
I'm not going to say what I'm planning to do with them because they aren't finished yet. My package of durians is essential to finish this weapon, and they're lost in the mail for some reason . . . *sigh*
If you can't say something nice, don't say anything at all.
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Re: Fruit Wars Return!
Cloves! To the wall, Nancy for 15 minutes! Artificially improving them is illegal.
(throws apples and rolls a pomegranate for you to fall over)
(throws apples and rolls a pomegranate for you to fall over)
'The best Government is that which governs least, if at all' - Henry David Thoreau.
Re: Fruit Wars Return!
Wha . . . what?? I didn't see anything about that in the rules.
Besides, the cloves are mostly a guide to help with assembly.
But - beware! My durians have finally arrived, slightly flattened in transit, but mostly okay.
*carefully rolls the best-looking, roundest durians over the row of be-clovened mangoes until the mangoes are evenly impaled on the durians' spines*
*attaches a Buddha Hand fruit to each fruit assembly to control them*
*nudges them into motion and then jumps back*
*waits to see what will happen, since Buddha hand fruits can be unpredictable*
Besides, the cloves are mostly a guide to help with assembly.
But - beware! My durians have finally arrived, slightly flattened in transit, but mostly okay.
*carefully rolls the best-looking, roundest durians over the row of be-clovened mangoes until the mangoes are evenly impaled on the durians' spines*
*attaches a Buddha Hand fruit to each fruit assembly to control them*
*nudges them into motion and then jumps back*
*waits to see what will happen, since Buddha hand fruits can be unpredictable*
If you can't say something nice, don't say anything at all.
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Re: Fruit Wars Return!
Doctor Ledin is a Buddhist but all the Enlightened Ones in the world won't stop this!
(Fires a salvo of bananas)
(Fires a salvo of bananas)
'The best Government is that which governs least, if at all' - Henry David Thoreau.
Re: Fruit Wars Return!
Ha! Bananas are too bendy to fly straight . . . I hope. *hides inside a giant pumpkin until the barrage stops*
*Rolls a box full of wood apples across the road*
*Rolls a box full of wood apples across the road*
If you can't say something nice, don't say anything at all.
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Re: Fruit Wars Return!
Make like Gary Barlow and take that!
(Fires a heavy volley of grapes of both colours)
(Fires a heavy volley of grapes of both colours)
'The best Government is that which governs least, if at all' - Henry David Thoreau.
Re: Fruit Wars Return!
Oh NO!
*frantically tries to sort the grapes by color as they approach* (damned OCD!)
*lobs a trebuchet load of Kiwi fruits while gathering up the grapes to make wine*
*frantically tries to sort the grapes by color as they approach* (damned OCD!)
*lobs a trebuchet load of Kiwi fruits while gathering up the grapes to make wine*
If you can't say something nice, don't say anything at all.
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Re: Fruit Wars Return!
Ha! Ha!
Now cop yer whack of this, to quote Billy Connolly.
(fires mangoes from an even larger trebuchet).
Now cop yer whack of this, to quote Billy Connolly.
(fires mangoes from an even larger trebuchet).
'The best Government is that which governs least, if at all' - Henry David Thoreau.
Re: Fruit Wars Return!
Harvests the specially grown squash x lychee hybrids (squeechees) and floats them across the field on a river of wine.
(That was a LOT of grapes!)
(That was a LOT of grapes!)
If you can't say something nice, don't say anything at all.
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Re: Fruit Wars Return!
Bloody hell, Nancy! Uncle Manfred is SO proud of you! Would you like to work for him?
Last day tomorrow so get it while you can.
But isn't squash a vegetable? Anyway, this will be overlooked as you obviously listen in Academy classes and have done well.
In keeping with the Wars, I must sock it to you with a barrage of oranges.
Last day tomorrow so get it while you can.
But isn't squash a vegetable? Anyway, this will be overlooked as you obviously listen in Academy classes and have done well.
In keeping with the Wars, I must sock it to you with a barrage of oranges.
'The best Government is that which governs least, if at all' - Henry David Thoreau.
Re: Fruit Wars Return!
I thought that a fruit was the seed-bearing part of the plant, and a vegetable was anything else (leaves, stem, roots, etc.) Don't get me started on the various types of fruit, though. (Berries? Drupes? Droopy berries? HellifIknow!) Besides, I could be wrong about everything. Ya never know.
I appreciate the oranges! I've been craving citrus lately, probably thanks to this blasted winter cold . . .
*Launches a series of colored designer melons, organized according to the rainbow*
They will probably splat, but it should be pretty!
Always go out on a high note, right?
I appreciate the oranges! I've been craving citrus lately, probably thanks to this blasted winter cold . . .
*Launches a series of colored designer melons, organized according to the rainbow*
They will probably splat, but it should be pretty!

Always go out on a high note, right?
If you can't say something nice, don't say anything at all.
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Re: Fruit Wars Return!
Exactly, which is why I will have a final fling with these carambolas (starfruit). (aims said carambolas).
And since you were the only member of this forum apart from me to join in, take the whole of next week off. The others will get detention and extra homework.
And since you were the only member of this forum apart from me to join in, take the whole of next week off. The others will get detention and extra homework.
'The best Government is that which governs least, if at all' - Henry David Thoreau.