Split from: A Thought: A Acenegative Ace?

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Ciri
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Split from: A Thought: A Acenegative Ace?

Postby Ciri » Sun Jul 03, 2016 1:14 pm

I noticed everyone left :/ Nobody is saying a word to me and I've been wondering what I've done.
You're all dead and I'm your eternal punishment.

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KAGU143
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Re: A Thought: A Acenegative Ace?

Postby KAGU143 » Mon Jul 04, 2016 7:52 am

Ciri, you haven't done anything at all, other than be yourself, which is okay around here.
I'm glad to see you. Where have you been?

The only one missing around here is PiF.
He accused me of doing something that I didn't do, and then he continued to accuse me of it after I TOLD him that I didn't do it - in other words, he called me a liar. Bad idea.
He isn't banned, warned, or anything at all, but he didn't appreciate it when I read him the riot act. Quite a while before this happened he had already mentioned that he was planning to permanently leave all asexual message boards, and maybe he has actually done it this time? I don't know.
His account is still active so he should still be able to secretly use PMs if he wants to. *shrugs*

Tanwen hasn't been around very much, but she popped in a few days ago, and we have a new member, Nox, who has some interesting ideas.
Flergalwit is still watching over us to make sure we stay out of trouble, as are some of our other "dual citizenship" members.

I haven't been posting much because real life is kicking my ass!
(I've been down in the woods with a pruning saw every day, for over a week, cutting down literally hundreds of small trees and saplings that have sprouted in what is supposed to be a pond. I have lost a few battles and I have the wounds to prove it, but I think I'm about halfway done with winning the war. Now, whether the pond will ever hold water again? . . . I guess I'll find out.)
If you can't say something nice, don't say anything at all.

PiF
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Re: A Thought: A Acenegative Ace?

Postby PiF » Mon Jul 04, 2016 8:15 am

KAGU143 wrote:The only one missing around here is PiF.
He accused me of doing something that I didn't do, and then he continued to accuse me of it after I TOLD him that I didn't do it - in other words, he called me a liar. Bad idea.
He isn't banned, warned, or anything at all, but he didn't appreciate it when I read him the riot act. Quite a while before this happened he had already mentioned that he was planning to permanently leave all asexual message boards, and maybe he has actually done it this time? I don't know.
His account is still active so he should still be able to secretly use PMs if he wants to. *shrugs*


I've returned for this one post as Nancy, you know what you had written is not quite what happened. I'd like to include my last message to you if I may and hope you will let it stand to show a balance of information. I certianly would have not felt a need to do this had you shown as much restraint as I had in regards to posts after our differences.

Anyway, my last message sent to you on the 21st of June, which I know you received, was as follows

I returned to clear out my messages and saw your pm and sought to clarify a few missconceptions before I leave as this will be my last time signing in

I want to start here if I may as this was the most upsetting to me

YOU ARE CALLING ME A LIAR ......you are simply wrong, I did not, nor have I ever in all the years I have known you, called you a liar..not once..and you are totally wrong to say so

"I already told you that I don't make my decisions based on AVEN's input". and yet after a complaint from aven, you did in fact edit my posts..so I sought some clarification from you..I did not have a hissy fit but did politely ask you what had gone on?

I value FAIR treatment and HONESTY above almost anything else- apparently, more than you can even begin to comprehend. I say this with absolute confidence, because jumping to conclusions and making assumptions is neither fair not honest, and doing those things is 100% typical for you.

You mean like you jumping to conclusions about me calling you something I never had but at least you have now been honest about how you feel about me. thank you

So, in closing, here's some TRUTH for you: ...yes please, I'd like that

YOU fucked up. ..not quite, I had made similar comments before without any issues and issues only started after avens input

You got mildly reprimanded. not at all..you told me you had edited some posts, I said as you may recall, No worries but simply asked why now and what had happened?

You decided to act like a baby and put the blame for YOUR action everywhere except for where it belongs.

Again no...I felt they had sought to moderate me in another forum in a way they could not do without your actions, they had my posts moderated by proxy in effect

Knowing as they had seen it worked that way, I explained that they would probably attempt to do that again so sought to leave rather than place you in a difficult position..you have been played by them Nancy because by using you to incorrectly and unecessarily censor me, they probably knew we would fall out, I would leave and apositive would probably dry up..two birds with one stone if you will...whilst you maybe angry with me, incorrectly I may add..I would ask the persons real intent when they came to you with this complaint

You then decided to throw away a friendship that has endured for YEARS because you didn't get your way.

Again no..I explained I did not want to place you in that situation again..as far as I was concerned the friendship remained but the forum dynamic had changed and for me, not for the better, so rather than fall out and lose a long friendship, I was leaving the forum..it is in print, that only you have said we will never be friends again...something I have never said nor would I

You are still welcome to post on Apositive if you want to.

Given avens interference and some of the hurtfull stuff you have said to me I think that is unlikely to happen, even more so when I asked you what do you think the position would be if the roles were reversed...and you refuse to mention or reply to that

I'm not vindictive, but I will never consider us to be friends again - not on any level. I'm done.

I'm sorry you feel that way, that was certianly not what I have ever said or felt

If any of Apositive's members ask what happened to you, I will tell them the truth, just as I spelled it out above.

Where as I will simply say if asked...I've enjoyed my time in apos but my time on the asexual internet had simply come to the end

I genuinely wish you and apositive well Nancy

Goodbye


Ciri my number remains the same and yes I had mentioned to Nancy that I would be soon leaving the Asexual internet, no surprise really as I had been on it since 2008 and Asexuality has changed in a way I disagree with so it was inevitable at some point I would leave.

Given how much effort I put into keeping Apositive going I am rather saddened at nancy's follow up as I thought the matter was private between us but clearly that thought was one sided.

Any thoughts beyond that are private between myself and those I still communicate with and again, I hope Apositive continues to do well

Understandably for Apositives continuation you may wish to take this post down, I respect that and would understand it

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KAGU143
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Re: A Thought: A Acenegative Ace?

Postby KAGU143 » Mon Jul 04, 2016 2:31 pm

PiF, I have decided to leave your post as it is, un-edited, although you should know better than to post PMs without getting permission from the other party. If I start removing things that I don't approve of then I might as well resort to having hidden forums, and you already know how I feel about those.
I think that Nox's thread has been hijacked beyond all hope, though, so I'm going to split this off into its own topic.

Needless to say, in case anybody cares, this is NOT the whole story, and I will tell ALL of it if anybody asks. (provided that the person who sent me the original PM doesn't mind)

As I told you, NOBODY tells me how to moderate this forum. If someone brings something to my attention, and IF I agree that something should be done about it, then I will do something, but the decision is MINE, and ONLY mine. If I don't agree that something is a problem then I don't do anything about it. As you know, I do the same thing if a complaint comes from one of our own members - which, in fact, this one did, since non-members can't send PMs.
The identity of the offended person is irrelevant.

When you insist that what I am telling you is not true, then you are in fact calling me a liar. You don't have to use those exact words - the meaning is quite clear no matter how it's worded.

Apositive will be fine.
I hope we can become known as a friendly, tolerant place that welcomes ALL kinds of asexuals, even the weird and cranky ones, without constantly implying that some of them aren't asexual enough to be worthy of the name because they are young, old, genderqueer, sex-repulsed, autistic, or something else.
If you can't say something nice, don't say anything at all.

Ciri
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Re: Split from: A Thought: A Acenegative Ace?

Postby Ciri » Wed Jul 06, 2016 11:13 pm

Oh the drama! See you in a couple of months Pif :D

I'm ok, Nancy. Recovered nicely from my op. Today I've got my follow up appointment and find out if my tumour was malignant. If it was I have to have chemo and stuff to make sure it doesn't come back or something. Don't remember much, I was pretty high on morphine at the time.
You're all dead and I'm your eternal punishment.

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KAGU143
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Re: Split from: A Thought: A Acenegative Ace?

Postby KAGU143 » Thu Jul 07, 2016 8:08 am

Ack! I can't believe they would make you wait so long to get your results.
I mean . . . shouldn't something like, oh . . . say, malignancy, be a high priority? (If it isn't, mind = blown!) Maybe the fact that they haven't seen any need to contact you right away is good news. *fingers crossed*


And - yep! There was definitely a bit of drama here, which probably should been been left in PMs, and it all centered around such a minor thing that it's ridiculous. (Playground-level name calling . . . seriously??!? WTH? Damn straight I can and will edit that stuff! Look at my signature, for Pete's sake.)

But then, when you think about it, real life isn't much different from the internet in some ways. How many times has a small, insignificant incident led to a huge falling out?
In almost all cases it basically boils down to the same thing: one person does something that offends another person (it could be anything) and then, rather than simply admit their mistake and apologize for it, they try to rationalize it or to shift the blame to someone else.
This pattern of human behavior is all over the news, nowadays. *cough* Conservative politics. *cough*
If you can't say something nice, don't say anything at all.

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Tanwen
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Re: Split from: A Thought: A Acenegative Ace?

Postby Tanwen » Thu Jul 07, 2016 12:51 pm

Ciri, no-one is not talking to you (is that too many negatives??? ) When I had the tumour removed from my face and was waiting for the results, I kept telling myself if it was anything serious they'd have got in touch with me...hoping for the best result for you.

I've been a bit preoccupied of late, had a lot to think about and try to get straight in my head (no, not there yet) plus Barney and I went to a Rally competition at the weekend. Saturday we missed qualification by ONE mark (needed 170. got 169) but Sunday we ACED it with 195 (so 'Excellent')
My talented friend Michelle took some brilliant photos (even getting one of Barney paying attention to me :D )

Image

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You lose nothing when fighting for a cause ... In my mind the losers are those who don't have a cause they care about. - Muhammad Ali

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KAGU143
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Re: Split from: A Thought: A Acenegative Ace?

Postby KAGU143 » Thu Jul 07, 2016 5:56 pm

You and Barney are both lookin' GOOD, Tanwen!
I was pretty proud of you guys for getting so close on Saturday, and I had missed the news of you doing so well on Sunday. Way to go!!
Congratulations to both of you.
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Ciri
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Re: Split from: A Thought: A Acenegative Ace?

Postby Ciri » Thu Jul 07, 2016 11:16 pm

Yay you and Barney! I thought I'd done something to make you andPif leave Apos.

Good news is I'm fine. They managed to catch the tumour while the cells were forming in a tiny part of it. So it was very very early stages and they're confident it isn't anywhere else, that I don't need further treatment because it was all removed and they're going to keep an eye on me.

Thank goodness my surgeon is an expert at spotting these things early.
You're all dead and I'm your eternal punishment.

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Tanwen
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Re: Split from: A Thought: A Acenegative Ace?

Postby Tanwen » Fri Jul 08, 2016 4:37 am

His certificate :D

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You lose nothing when fighting for a cause ... In my mind the losers are those who don't have a cause they care about. - Muhammad Ali

flergalwit
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Re: Split from: A Thought: A Acenegative Ace?

Postby flergalwit » Fri Jul 08, 2016 1:24 pm

Ciri wrote:Good news is I'm fine. They managed to catch the tumour while the cells were forming in a tiny part of it. So it was very very early stages and they're confident it isn't anywhere else, that I don't need further treatment because it was all removed and they're going to keep an eye on me.

Yay!!! Great news!