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Messages to AVEN Admods

Posted: Wed Jul 04, 2018 11:14 am
by Ciri
Because I don't fancy having a discussion with any of you and I can't message you on Aven anyway.

Dear Skycaptain,
Today I had the (shall we say) pleasure of reading your review and appeal threads. For once, I'm not going to question an admod thread other than to say: I heard threads were being created back there to insult avenites, your review and appeal threads make me think that's true. I could have taken the 'lying, manipulative shit stirrer' comment on the chin had you said it to my face. See, if somebody has a problem with me, I prefer them to be honest about it rather than being all sweetness and rainbows. That, my 'friend', is manipulative. I don't like fake people. If I have a problem with somebody, I tell them about it. I did wonder why you suddenly couldn't look me in the eye at meets. I found out about these comments during the Iceland meet. Furthermore, I didn't get anybody in trouble for breaching, if somebody was breaching to me that's their own prerogative - I'm not responsible for the actions of others. Nobody breached to me, to set the record straight. Only one person ever has and it wasn't in the last 5 years.

I've never a had a problem with anybody at meets, that's completely false and you know it. But hey, what more can I expect from somebody who would go behind my back and back bullshit up.

Secondly, how dare you bring my abuser into it. How dare you claim I was lying about or manipulating somebody who had psychologically abused me for years. You saw me leave the table over dinner and cry in the bathroom for 45 minutes over that persons actions. You saw the effect it had on me. And you're claiming it was the other way round? Not only that but you tried to convince others of it for your own gain? Who the hell do you think you are? I'm in therapy over this person because every time somebody says anything similar to them, I have a panic attack and break down in tears. You've probably just set me back another session at least since your actions here are exactly like theirs.

I don't want any excuses.

I don't want to speak to you again.

Stay the hell away from me.


Re: Messages to AVEN Admods

Posted: Wed Jul 04, 2018 11:19 am
by Ciri
Tea -
I know a joke about a cheerio.

Re: Messages to AVEN Admods

Posted: Thu Jul 05, 2018 3:18 pm
by Ciri
Oh. Tanwen too.

Huh. You people need to look at the definition of a lie. A lie has to be deliberate for it to not be classed as a misinterpretation.

Tbh I'm not really surprised anymore. I've been stabbed in the effing back by people from that forum multiple times.

Re: Messages to AVEN Admods

Posted: Fri Jul 06, 2018 12:28 am
by Bryan
Ciri, as much as i dislike Admods way of treating people I don’t think it’s fair to publicly single people out while shutting the door in their faces. I’m quite surprised you still lash out like that while publicly stating you wanted to let this rest.

You have full right to be angry and i don’t blaim you, but i find this one-sided mental tirade against Admods going a bit too far.

Re: Messages to AVEN Admods

Posted: Fri Jul 06, 2018 3:27 am
by Ciri
*shrugs* maybe I've just decided to become the person people think I am. At least then, all the flack will be deserved.

If they fancy coming and talking about it they know where to find me. Until then, nobody knows what the person who Skycaptain brought up did to me. Sky apparently thinks he knows what happened. If people are happy to believe that person over me, especially when they saw my reaction to stuff in real life, that isn't my fault. I've been through this before. I told my college friends - my best friend in the whole world - that my first boyfriend repeatedly raped me. Know what happened? They tried to trick me into sitting in a room with him and talking it out. Then they told me he had to do it because I'm asexual. I ditched every single one of them because I would rather be without friends than with people like that.

I'm not pissed off with the first comments (although he needs to understand that to state a fact, he needs to provide evidence of it being a fact) I'm pissed off with what was said in his appeal. Which was total BS.

And whatever Tan thinks she knows about the situation, i'd rather she came to me and asked first.

I'm not attacking admods, I'm attacking somebody who sat opposite me while I was in tears and has got it in his head that I wasn't the victim. I'm attacking somebody who knows exactly what my abuser was like and has the nerve to spread round that I was the problem.

He made this personal, it's nothing to do with admods. I would feel just as upset and betrayed if he wasn't a mod.

Re: Messages to AVEN Admods

Posted: Fri Jul 06, 2018 4:03 am
by PiF
I don't normally post on the asexual forums anymore as they stopped being about real asexuals sometime ago .

Ciri, I've met you, you're a little bit scatter brained :D but you're a decent person. Where you seem to struggle is with online communities and in particular asexual ones. For some, online is real life and from time to time you have confused the two.

I only say this as a friend who worries for you as you seem to come off worse when these overlaps happen. I wonder if a greater gap between happyness and online unhappyness is possible?

Don't worry so much about aven. Look let me give you an example, I became very close to one in the backroom who to this day I have the greatest respect for and would talk to them tomorrow should it arise, not everyone in the backroom is a douche :lol: There are more than there should be but even the backroom know who they are

Tan, as you have mentioned her again, no issues there. Even when the cycle repeats of she hates the mods, comes whinging to me about it after leaving and after not talking for ages. We have a laugh and chuckle for a while, but then she misses the backroom, I suggest and support her when she runs for the backroom again, she wins and gets in, then I never hear from her again, until the next time :lol: I think That's happened at least 3 times but again, I would talk to her tomorrow

It's a funny old world online where people can become passionate, comfortable and sometimes angry. My worry for you is that you deserve to be happier and as scatty as you are in real life :D you have periods where the internet is not your friend.

Beyond that, I'll check my pm's here for the next few days and am open to being an ear, if you want to talk <3

Re: Messages to AVEN Admods

Posted: Fri Jul 06, 2018 5:30 am
by Bryan
But Ciri, think about it: all this hatred isn’t going to get you anywhere. Pif is right, don’t let things consume you like that.
I’m glad i don’t have any access to AVEN because if i did i would only end up being way more fustrated with what the backroom has left in the archives.Really, it’s not worth it.Your health is way more important then that and i feel you are letting things get to you again.

You’re spending way too much time thinking about what he said and she said.

Re: Messages to AVEN Admods

Posted: Fri Jul 06, 2018 11:22 am
by Ciri
To make it clear, I don't hate anybody, I've never hated anyone. I'm upset. Unbelievably upset. That somebody I've known for about 5 years is happy to say things like that about me knowing it would be made public. I don't understand how he can say somebody posting horrific things about me, spamming up Aven and tagging me in it all because I refused to reply to a text verbally abusing me and calling me a whore - how he can say that is my fault. How can he say that person refusing to attend meet ups if I'm there is my fault?

If he wants to tell me I've got it all wrong or apologise or whatever, he knows where to find me. Heck, my partner is going to London Pride with him tomorrow and I'll be shopping nearby. Note the tone of my post and the mild insult. If I hated somebody I'd have called them much more than a jerk.

This isn't a me vs Admods issue. Admods have nothing to do with it, as I've already said. This is personal. He just happens to currently be an admod and the title of this thread would have caught their eye.

Hiii piiiif. Scatterbrained? :p my short term memory is somewhere in the bottom 5th percentile! At work we call it being 'pleasantly confused' :lol: :D ill send you a message. Shits really hit the fan recently. Cheers man <3