What utensil would you be?

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ily
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What utensil would you be?

Postby ily » Sat Apr 04, 2009 3:54 pm

So, we definitely need more off-topic threads up in here.
Apparently, people are now asking "What utensil would you be?" in job interviews now. I've never heard this, but I wish I had, because I actually have an answer: Chopsticks. How about you?

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Re: What utensil would you be?

Postby Karl » Sun Apr 05, 2009 6:34 am

A fish-slice, for sure.

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Re: What utensil would you be?

Postby pretzelboy » Sun Apr 05, 2009 6:53 am

A spork.

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Dargon
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Re: What utensil would you be?

Postby Dargon » Sun Apr 05, 2009 12:48 pm

That is seriously being used in interviews? My first response would be "what?" followed by "are you serious?" followed by "a large wooden spoon."

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wintermute
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Re: What utensil would you be?

Postby wintermute » Sun Apr 05, 2009 3:59 pm

corkscrew. With one of those little knives for cutting the foil off.

Seriously though if I got asked that I think I'd just get up and walk out. If they've got nothing better to do than ask silly questions at interviews, or worse still if they actually set store by that sort of nonsense it's not a company I want to spend much time at
Cicero wrote:"Neither can embellishments of language be found without arrangement and expression of thoughts, nor can thoughts be made to shine without the light of language"

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ily
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Re: What utensil would you be?

Postby ily » Sun Apr 05, 2009 6:25 pm

Hmm, we've got a diverse group here. ;) I think it might be a geographic thing (apparently, interviewers in the US like to find out a lot more about your personality than in other countries), and also depend on the industry (like, I can't imagine investment bankers asking this). I have to say, I much prefer this one to "Where do you see yourself in 5 years?" *facepalm*

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Dargon
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Re: What utensil would you be?

Postby Dargon » Sun Apr 05, 2009 7:07 pm

I've had a retail interview and an interview at a fixture house (engineering job). All questions were to gauge my competence at the job rather than assess my personality (except the unicru personality test used by every freaking major retail chain there is, damn that test), so I've never even got "where do you see yourself in five years?" Of course, I'd have to go Mitch Hedberg on that one and respond "celebrating the fifth year anniversary of you asking me this question."

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ily
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Re: What utensil would you be?

Postby ily » Tue Apr 07, 2009 3:27 pm

Yeah, I couldn't get a basic job at a video store (and I was a college student at the time) because I failed the unicru test (although I had sucessfully worked in retail prior to that). As you can imagine, I don't like having my personality assessed by not-so-benevolent forces. There are websites that have the "right" answers to that test, which just goes to show how dumb it is. There's a book called "The Cult of Personality: How Personality Tests Are Leading Us to Miseducate Our Children, Mismanage Our Companies, and Misunderstand Ourselves", although it would probably be preaching to the choir in my case. (I do miss taking silly quizzes in Seventeen magazine, though ;) )

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Dargon
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Re: What utensil would you be?

Postby Dargon » Tue Apr 07, 2009 4:12 pm

I've looked for the right answers to the unicru one, but haven't been able to find them. One summer I was rejected from about 30 retail locations (even though I had prior experience) due to that test. The only place that was willing to hire me only did so because they were desperate for lot attendants and cashiers. They were rather pleased with what they got.

My biggest problem is I think too much

"Do you become upset when you make mistakes"
If I agree, it shows I am concerned with my mistakes, however, the term upset makes me think excessively bothered, perhaps to the point where one would be unable to rectify the situation.

However if I disagree, that could mean that I am able to handle my mistakes once made, but it could also mean I am rather apathetic towards my mistakes, and thus will make mistakes willy nilly.

I'll overanalyze every single question where both answers seem both right and wrong.


One of my former co-workers was once a manager at Wal-Mart. He said that in his experience, the people who passed the test tended to be the crooks and the flakes, while the people who failed it tended to be the hard workers. It makes sense to me. I would assume the test is trying to find warm (read: outwardly emotional) and friendly (read: extroverted) people. The people most likely to pass that would likely be either those who cheated the test (deceptive people) or those who are quite extroverted and emotional, and thus the most likely to socialize rather than work and most likely to get upset and show it when they are having a bad day (and in retail, its 90% bad days). Meanwhile, the introverted or somewhat callous (ie me) tend to work hard, hold their tongue (I am upset, but I needs the money), and put on their fake happy at all times. I got really good at the fake happy.

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Re: What utensil would you be?

Postby Karl » Tue Apr 07, 2009 11:53 pm

I was once accused in an interview of 'cheating' on a personality test. So, what... I don't have a personality?

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Re: What utensil would you be?

Postby pretzelboy » Wed Apr 08, 2009 5:56 am

When I was in highschool, a couple of times I had to take this personality-occupation test that was supposed to tell you what sorts of jobs would be a good fit for your personality--a generally sensible thing to have highschoolers do. Well, there were at least two different contexts where I had to take it, and the first time, it told me that I should be a scientist or something like that. The problem is that I did not want to become a scientist or pharmacist; I had liked it as a kid, but I came to hate it, largely because of bad science teachers in 8th ande 9th grade. (That and I felt I would be a little to sloppy in doing experiments because, at that point, I thought experiments meant chemistry or physics experiments.) The problem was that the test had us respond to statements like "I would be interested in learning about biology" and enough of my interest in science remained that that was still true. But when retaking this personality test, I knew what would happen if I answered those questions truthfully, so I had to falsify a few of my answers so it would tell me a career path I might like more. The result was a fact that I was rather proud of at the time:

The only test I've ever cheated on was a personality test.

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Dargon
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Re: What utensil would you be?

Postby Dargon » Wed Apr 08, 2009 10:55 pm

I cheated on a few career assessment tests. The questions make it so the result is obvious. If I answer honestly, those tend to put me all over the place since my interests are quite all over the place.

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wintermute
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Re: What utensil would you be?

Postby wintermute » Sat Apr 11, 2009 3:29 am

See, setting too much store by tests and made up personality formulae is a bad idea, it doesn't tell you anything substantial.

The last job I applied for (the company I am working for now) did it the traditional way - shorlisted people who applied by CV, invited the ones they liked (i.e ones that had the right words in the right order) for a first interview. At this interview we talked about the company, generally about my previous roles, what I thought I'd learned, what I wanted to do. Almost nothing about the job I was applying for. We went for a little walk around the offices and introduced me around, had a look around the works yard, talked about different aspects of the company. I was asked then if I liked what I'd seen, and if I'd like to come back for a second interview.

Then they did a second interview where they talked about the specifics of the job - what situations might arise, how might I solve these problems, what experiences do I have that I feel are relevant, how had I solved these problems before, how have I solved different problems before. That one was less "friendly" and more down-to-business.

Then they did some aptitude tests (last of all!) which involved putting lists of things into order, working out percentage profit, some other commercial knowledge, spotting errors in documents, that kind of thing. It was a timed test and I know for a fact I completely failed one part of it, due to not (at the time) knowing the difference between gross margin and markup. However, the manager said you can teach someone to do virtually anything, it's more important to find out if you're willing and capable to learn it.

This company has virtually zero turnover of staff - they don't do the "probationary period" thing where they can sack you at a moments notice in the first six months - right from day one you're on three month minimum notice, and it really works. Nobody leaves unless they have a real reason - everyone you speak to has bag and bags of job satisfaction. It's a family-owned old company, and it shows in the working practices. I wish more places would recruit and run themselves this way - it would hugely improve productivity without the air of stress and mistrust that seems to be everywhere in business and that's good for everyone
Cicero wrote:"Neither can embellishments of language be found without arrangement and expression of thoughts, nor can thoughts be made to shine without the light of language"

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Re: What utensil would you be?

Postby Placebo » Mon Apr 20, 2009 5:43 pm

Speaking of interview questions, I and some friends were hosting a director of a company for dinner and he regaled us with some of his favorite questions to ask. He's kind of an out-of-the-box thinker.

First: You have a pad of paper and a ruler in front of you. The interviewer asks you to tear off one piece of paper and crumble it into a ball. What percentage of the ball is paper? How do you figure it out?

Second: Without using google, off the top of your head, how many pizza parlors are in Spokane Washington?

Third: You put a pitcher of water on a scale. You stick your finger into the water without touching the sides of the pitcher. Does the weight of the scale go up, down or stay the same?

Honestly, if I got these during an interview, I would be pretty stressed out and probably couldn't answer any of them!
"Now it's right for me to be me."

Phil Halvorsen, from "The [Widget], the [Wadget], and Boff" (Theodore Sturgeon)

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Dargon
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Re: What utensil would you be?

Postby Dargon » Mon Apr 20, 2009 9:36 pm

1) I assume this is with respect to the percentage that is air. Mass or volume? By mass it is very near 100%, by volume, well that takes some figuring out. Depending on what resourses are available, (in this case, I assume a ruler), you could perhaps use the volume of the paper (w*h*t) and the volume of the sphere (pi*r^3). Divide paper volume by sphere volume and multiply by 100. You could alternately determine volume of air by displacement tests, ie submerging the sphere in water and measuring the volume of water diplaced.

2) yes

3) weight will stay the same. Water will displace upward, but weight will remain the same.

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Re: What utensil would you be?

Postby clouded_perception » Fri Apr 24, 2009 9:30 am

I'm a hand beater. Vaguely impressive-looking to the untrained, yet now superceded by better technology and completely useless in nearly all circumstances. However, nearly everbody still keeps me around, despite my tendency to stick the drawers shut.

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Re: What utensil would you be?

Postby yogachick » Sat May 02, 2009 3:18 pm

A whisk, just because I like the word.

As for the interview questions, the questions say more about the interviewer than the interviewee! I think they're just trying to think of the most outrageous questions to be "cool". Supposedly the new thing is going to be EQ testing, which makes more sense than these nonsensical questions listed! EQ is the new IQ.

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Re: What utensil would you be?

Postby Noskcaj.Llahsram » Sun May 03, 2009 2:19 pm

Damn, now i have to start getting ready for the AQ, OQ, and UQ.
1) Dargon is right
2) 42
3) Actually the pitcher would initially descend minutely, due transfer of energy from your finger to the water (in turn to the pitcher, then the base, then to the rest of the scale, and finally in to the earth), after the pitcher would return to its original position because the weight of your finger is supported by your hand and arm, and not the water.
What is love? Well, you know that feeling you get when you've been locked in a tiny dark space alone for a year? It's kind of the opposite of that.

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Re: What utensil would you be?

Postby pretzelboy » Sun May 03, 2009 4:04 pm

Noskcaj.Llahsram wrote:Damn, now i have to start getting ready for the AQ, OQ, and UQ.

And sometimes YQ.

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Shockwave
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Re: What utensil would you be?

Postby Shockwave » Wed May 13, 2009 5:14 am

A utensil is a tool, and I am not a tool.

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Re: What utensil would you be?

Postby Lemon » Thu May 14, 2009 1:52 am

In job interviews I find the best thing to do it turn it around on the person, ask them if they enjoy the working envoromnet and weather staff have a sense of community :)

Personally I'd be happier with EQ testing rather than IQ. I have to admit I value emotional intelligence more.

Might be because I'm crap at IQ tests.

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Noskcaj.Llahsram
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Re: What utensil would you be?

Postby Noskcaj.Llahsram » Thu May 14, 2009 8:15 pm

"when i call you a wedge; I mean you're the simplest kind of tool"
Can't remember where I heard this, but I find it funny, I use wedge as an insult often
What is love? Well, you know that feeling you get when you've been locked in a tiny dark space alone for a year? It's kind of the opposite of that.

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Re: What utensil would you be?

Postby Lemon » Wed May 27, 2009 2:57 am

Chop sticks!

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ily
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Re: What utensil would you be?

Postby ily » Thu Jun 04, 2009 12:43 pm

Noskcaj.Llahsram wrote:"when i call you a wedge; I mean you're the simplest kind of tool"
Can't remember where I heard this, but I find it funny, I use wedge as an insult often


Haha! I'll have to find a way to use that...

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FalconEagle
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Re: What utensil would you be?

Postby FalconEagle » Thu Dec 31, 2009 9:19 am

Hmm, is this another way of asking those 'are you in the closet/fridge/pantry' questions? idk.... ':|

I'd probably be the toaster :)

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Re: What utensil would you be?

Postby KAGU143 » Thu Dec 31, 2009 10:32 am

I would probably be the easy-bake oven!

Well ... unless I were a bottle opener. ('Started to say corkscrew, but that just sounded wrong for an asexual!)
If you can't say something nice, don't say anything at all.

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Re: What utensil would you be?

Postby Jicragg » Sun Aug 15, 2010 11:47 am

I would be a colander. My favourite piece of cookwear.

I saw one once with words printed for holes... which was stupid because everything would fall out of those. Crazy designer.

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Noskcaj.Llahsram
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Re: What utensil would you be?

Postby Noskcaj.Llahsram » Tue Aug 17, 2010 3:38 pm

Green lantern ring?
What is love? Well, you know that feeling you get when you've been locked in a tiny dark space alone for a year? It's kind of the opposite of that.

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Re: What utensil would you be?

Postby Orion » Fri Jan 10, 2014 12:43 am

Id be a knife, so that we could cut that interview off quickly and cleanly.