Ciri's Shitty Blog [Dead]

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PiF
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Re: Ciri's Shitty Blog [Dead]

Postby PiF » Sun Feb 16, 2014 11:02 am

I must admit whilst disappointed, I'm not entirely surprised it was Tea you mentioned. I used to enjoy their inputs when they were a plain member. For some unknown reason they did change to a point where it was noticeable and sad when they applied and joined the mods.

You see this from time to time where funny people get responsibility and change not for the better sadly.

I remember I tried to push through a set guideline that all appeals should be completed within seven days to avoid distressing the member concerned. Any longer would be unfair, incompetent and hardly a standard for best practice

As I said before, when a forum is created for people who are different then starts banning and warning people because they are different... Then something has gone awry and is very sad that it has happened.

The growing consensus is that they got ciri's banning wrong but could show good faith perhaps by taking it back to the last warning before the ban enabling ciri's return and also allowing a step back by the backroom in a way that would push a positive image, something they rarely have.

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KAGU143
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Re: Ciri's Shitty Blog [Dead]

Postby KAGU143 » Sun Feb 16, 2014 1:16 pm

:sigh:

I know that AVEN's back room is a mess. For what it's worth, I think they mean well, but they are painfully naive about human nature. They want to make a safe, welcoming website where nobody's feelings ever get hurt and nobody ever gets offended, and of course, doing that is impossible.

The simple truth is that quite a few people walk around looking for reasons to be offended so that they can blame their problems on other people. It's a LOT easier to do that than to take responsibility for one's own behavior and/or bad choices and their inevitable results - especially when taking responsibility isn't automatically linked with it's other side, which is taking control.
Sometimes I think that this is becoming a more and more common situation as it become socially acceptable to take offense for - seriously! - a bunch of totally absurd reasons. (Other times I wonder if it's always been this way and I just never noticed it?)
But, for example ..

Pink toys being marketed toward young girls? Take offense!
Someone suggesting that a woman's choice of clothing might have some bearing on whether or not she is molested? Take offense!
Someone observing that a LOT of asexuals are not really asexual in the true sense but have other conditions which cause a lack of sexual attraction or interest? How DARE you say this!! Take offense!
Someone suggesting that a lot of the younger so-called asexuals are just trying it on as an identity while they struggle to fit in with society? Take offense!!
Someone suggesting that minorities should adapt to the majority whenever possible, rather than the other way around?? Holy HELL!! That's the worst of all - take offense - take MAJOR offense!! Minorities have every right to demand that the majority must think like they do!

Well, besides keeping a lot of lawyers fat and happy, this plague of socially-mandated PC thinking has made it literally impossible to please an ever-growing group of people, and those who identify as minorities are among the worst. (Whether sexual, racial, religious, etc - it doesn't matter.)

So, how does this affect the back room at AVEN? Think about it. Whenever they get a complaint they have to take it seriously and try to deal with it. To my knowledge, during the entire 7+ years that I was there behind the scenes, we NEVER told a complainer to get over themselves, grow up, stop being an ass, develop some self-control and handle their OWN damned communication problems! (Lord knows, it SHOULD have been done in several cases, but it wasn't.)
Instead, the backroom feels that they have to fix every problem, usually by banning the one who is less likely to conform, and then, all too often, they make a new rule to try to prevent such problems in the future. The eventual result is a tangled web of nit-picky regulations accumulated over the years that are almost impossible to locate and organize - much less to enforce consistently.
Add to that ordinary things like personality conflicts and you have a recipe for chaos. AVEN is a perfect example of why government by committee doesn't work; it has no leader and it shows. DJ won't take responsibility for it but he won't give it to anybody else because he wants to take credit for owning it.
Everybody there has an equal voice and everybody there has a different opinion. Cliques form, rivalries result, and the entire website ends up being about as civilized as an unsupervised playground.
The admod team at AVEN consistently chose to NOT use the one effective tool which they had, which was the right to EDIT offensive posts. They saw it as censorship - a horror to be avoided at all costs! Maybe it is ... but if the alternative is a war zone I think it can sometimes be the lesser evil.
Around here I WILL edit a post if I feel that I should, and I won't wait around for anybody's permission. The next step is to contact the person via PM and tell them why I did it. No warnings, no banings, no nothing ... I truly believe that if you treat people like adults they will generally behave like adults. Goofy adults, maybe, but still adults.

I'm going to stop remembering life in AVEN's back room now because it makes me mad for no reason ...

Just call me Politically Incorrect. I'm not apologizing for them; there's no point to it because they don't want things to change badly enough to deal with all of the butt-hurt whining and uproar that would be the result. Therefore they deserve the mess that they have.
I was SO glad to get out of that place! (Can you tell? :mrgreen: )

Apositive has a leader (or, well, a leadership team if you count Kæth) and we don't choose to coddle anybody. Strong opinions are welcome, even if they are unpopular, but they won't be specially protected so there is always the possibility of equally strong rebuttals. And, if somebody crosses the line into outright hostility those comments will be edited asap.
Because I'm a grownup, and if I screwed up that's what I would want to happen to me. So, even though I'm not religious, I think that "Do unto others" bit works pretty well most of the time.

Sorry if this post is rambling and disconnected ... I kept getting interrupted and having to re-boot my brain. (Ouch!)
If you can't say something nice, don't say anything at all.

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Re: Ciri's Shitty Blog [Dead]

Postby PiF » Mon Feb 17, 2014 4:11 am

:clap: :clap: :clap: :clap:

A well thought out and very informative post by someone with huge experience in aven it'self and other forum management in a human way. Thank you so much Nancy

I think it highlights where the lack of life skills and experience is reflected in how it's managed. in trying to make it safe they are trying to win the lottery..it will never happen. by removing those who fill all ..and I will use it for this... those who fill all ends of lifes spectrum with personalities, differences, impurities, opinions..then they have created an pietrie dish of "mum mum they are picking on me" and in many ways promote the report culture.

I have said all along they need to invest in mod training and pier training to make each mod responsible for their own forum..that would allow a greater facility to see the real world and not just the teenage temper tantrums that are ruining a perfectly good forum

it should only go to the hive when an appeal or ban is to be issued/dealt with. This would place greater responsibility on each mod to be more effective than hiding behind the veil of..it was a majority when it comes to nudges, warnings etc and would force a higher and more real life expectation of those who volunteer

in Ciris case, ciri like many of us are not a robotic norm and that lack of understanding of differences is far to often blamed on "it was a majority vote" like a cloak of cowardice because someone is to afraid or unable to pm someone and say..look i understand your not happy with another persons post but they have an opinion and because it's diffeent to yours it doesn't mean they are not entitled to it or get reported for it"

I have always said...i may not agree with you but i am willing to respect you have an opinion and will listen to it...something that is not only discouraged on aven but has with it's many rules upon rules..encouraged the hate others with a different opinion and the social media witchunt that follows

ciri's case should be reviewed, quicksmart..non of this 3 month shit like the ruthlessly did to egd, dangling carrots and the like and perhaps then and only then will asexuality be seen as a welcoming addition to the sexual world instead of just a forum of angry young teens seeking to say welcome on one hand but then bugger off on the other

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Re: Ciri's Shitty Blog [Dead]

Postby Ciri » Tue Feb 18, 2014 6:58 pm

3 weeks and 5 days,I thought I had issues with indecisiveness. I have hit the irritation anger level, this could easily be rectitied with a "we are still discussing the best bullcrap accusation to pin on you your case." I saw someone (Zeal?) say in a recently declassified thread that proper communication would have prevented a lot of warns needing to be giving. From my angle, this is absolutely true...some examples (Note: this is how I remember it):

* The whole Gay thing -> a lot of bad blood could have been prevented by actually listening to what I was saying.
* Reporting creepy stalker paedo for blackmailing me -> 2 weeks later creepy stalker paedo was still around so I took it into my own hands. I was under the impression that 2 weeks was the cut off point for warns and appeals. Then I got told I hadn't handed it over to them in the first place, which was later retracted and after that I got confused.
* Pretty much every question I ask is decided to be a non-question even when made obvious. After the third time, it becomes pretty obvious what's going on.
* One of the biggest was in telling another member that they would reply if sent an email asking important questions myself which was a deliberate lie.
* With this ban: of course using Skype conversations as proof of anything is questionable. It would have saved a lot of work if somebody had just Skyped me to ask what was going on. Yes people make mistakes but I shouldn't be the one living with the consequences of somebody elses mistakes or outright lies. The same goes for the jokes I was making about having socks <- obvious jokes by the way. It would have been a hell of a lot easy for someone to say "you find that funny, we don't, stop it it's an unwritten rule." About the previous warn: This was for insulting somebody who had been following me around the forums and insulting me for months ~ yeah I shouldn't have done that, it was very rude so was the comment I left in my profile and on my status. Yes I should have reported it but at the same time why would I if at that point my points weren't being taken seriously. Yes, I am saying I wouldn't have been suspended for 6 months if people had bothered to listen.
* That brings me to this: I did know about a plan to recruit members to run in elections and breach stuff. Hell, in June, I sarcastically made a comment in a group Skype chat suggesting someone do it. Someone didn't see the sarcasm and thought it was a good idea ~> I disapproved and made that clear. Early September, I was talking to an admod about the breach recruitment. So regardless of what anybody says, they knew it was happening and that I wasn't involved. And 3 months later they pin it on me??? So yes, this is personal. The proof is there. Even if they tried to pin the idea on me, I wasn't the one organising or pushing people into doing it. It is absolutely not my problem if something I say in satire is taken to be a good idea after I advise against it.
* The lack of communication was what caused me to find it necessary to access somebody elses account, too. The person whose life I was trying to save was my own. I needed to contact Person A because they were the only person I was willing to speak to about a very sensitive past event I had been blocking out. I can't talk to just anybody about this event and nobody was talking to me so I couldn't ask admods to get me their details. Person B wouldn't send the message asking Person A to message me but told me to use B's account to do it myself. Which I did. And wouldn't have done if it wasn't absolutely necessary. No harm came to the community and I can't access that account anymore.

I literally wouldn't be in this position if they had communicated with me properly.

Speaking of communication as an admin, I have found that the best way to deal with really annoying social justice warriors is to tell them to f*ck off and lock their thread. It works! They don't cause hell! The easiest way to stop people who are deliberately being assholes is to tell them that they are being assholes and that they should stop it.

Heh, I think I'm finding myself again otherwise I would never be able to do this:

It is easy to just trashtalk them to the 9th Circle of Hell (Treachery) and forget about the positives. I have faith that they will admit that the breach recruitment thing was a mistake at least. This whole incident is something I can forgive if they admit their mistakes. I wouldn't be able to forget it but I do believe they are big enough to accept when they're wrong. I'm sticking my faith, sanity and neck on the line for this.

I have been impressed by the speed of which declassifieds are happening now. In fact, I'm happy they agreed to do those. By the way, Pif, I think I found one of your threads in there :p Before my time, though so I can't say for sure. It definitely sounds like you though. I was discussing this with someone the other day and they told me they think posts and pages are deleted before declassifieds happen. Am I naïve in not believing them?

I think they are all genuinely good and friendly people. I find Zeal particularly interesting. I try to ignore the pony avatar. Brony subculture creeps me out. It's been proven in countless studies (most noteably of which was Zimbardo's Prison Experiment. Look it up, it's interesting, it worked so well he had to stop the experiment short) that when somebody puts on a uniform, they will automatically play up to that role and usually go overboard. Think of it like this: DJ is the Zimbardo playing the role of Head Guard, Admods are the prison officers and the members are the prisoners. The prison officers have gone overboard in their punishment. Not necessarily a power trip...more doing what they can to maintain order.

There's more but I really need to sleep. Summary: Admods made mistakes, but I think they are good people.
You're all dead and I'm your eternal punishment.

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Re: Ciri's Shitty Blog [Dead]

Postby KAGU143 » Wed Feb 19, 2014 12:51 pm

I don't know anything about what's happened over there since I've been gone, but I know it's true that quite a few very important threads and posts got deleted several years ago. The accepted belief was that it was a legitimate accident.
I honestly don't know for sure, but I can't say that it wasn't. After all, the situation was completely unprecedented.
One of the admins at the time got his feelings hurt, decided to cut all ties with AVEN, and deleted his own account. I think it was because he had a lot of posts and wanted to get rid of them all at once rather than spend many hours doing them one at a time.
What nobody had realized was that when he did that it would also delete all of the threads that he had started, and he had been a very busy and dedicated member and admin up until shortly before that happened. So ... a LOT of important things vanished, never to be seen again.

Other than that, the only times things vanish is when they are deliberately deleted or the entire site goes down before the data can be backed up.
If you can't say something nice, don't say anything at all.

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Re: Ciri's Shitty Blog [Dead]

Postby PiF » Thu Feb 20, 2014 2:46 am

KAGU143 wrote::sigh:The simple truth is that quite a few people walk around looking for reasons to be offended so that they can blame their problems on other people. It's a LOT easier to do that than to take responsibility for one's own behavior and/or bad choices and their inevitable results - especially when taking responsibility isn't automatically linked with it's other side, which is taking control.
Sometimes I think that this is becoming a more and more common situation as it become socially acceptable to take offense for - seriously! - a bunch of totally absurd reasons. (Other times I wonder if it's always been this way and I just never noticed it?)
But, for example ..

Pink toys being marketed toward young girls? Take offense!
Someone suggesting that a woman's choice of clothing might have some bearing on whether or not she is molested? Take offense!
Someone observing that a LOT of asexuals are not really asexual in the true sense but have other conditions which cause a lack of sexual attraction or interest? How DARE you say this!! Take offense!
Someone suggesting that a lot of the younger so-called asexuals are just trying it on as an identity while they struggle to fit in with society? Take offense!!
Someone suggesting that minorities should adapt to the majority whenever possible, rather than the other way around?? Holy HELL!! That's the worst of all - take offense - take MAJOR offense!! Minorities have every right to demand that the majority must think like they do!

Well, besides keeping a lot of lawyers fat and happy, this plague of socially-mandated PC thinking has made it literally impossible to please an ever-growing group of people, and those who identify as minorities are among the worst. (Whether sexual, racial, religious, etc - it doesn't matter.)

So, how does this affect the back room at AVEN? Think about it. Whenever they get a complaint they have to take it seriously and try to deal with it. To my knowledge, during the entire 7+ years that I was there behind the scenes, we NEVER told a complainer to get over themselves, grow up, stop being an ass, develop some self-control and handle their OWN damned communication problems! (Lord knows, it SHOULD have been done in several cases, but it wasn't.)
Instead, the backroom feels that they have to fix every problem, usually by banning the one who is less likely to conform, and then, all too often, they make a new rule to try to prevent such problems in the future. The eventual result is a tangled web of nit-picky regulations accumulated over the years that are almost impossible to locate and organize - much less to enforce consistently.
Add to that ordinary things like personality conflicts and you have a recipe for chaos. AVEN is a perfect example of why government by committee doesn't work; it has no leader and it shows. DJ won't take responsibility for it but he won't give it to anybody else because he wants to take credit for owning it.
Everybody there has an equal voice and everybody there has a different opinion. Cliques form, rivalries result, and the entire website ends up being about as civilized as an unsupervised playground.
The admod team at AVEN consistently chose to NOT use the one effective tool which they had, which was the right to EDIT offensive posts. They saw it as censorship - a horror to be avoided at all costs! Maybe it is ... but if the alternative is a war zone I think it can sometimes be the lesser evil.
Around here I WILL edit a post if I feel that I should, and I won't wait around for anybody's permission. The next step is to contact the person via PM and tell them why I did it. No warnings, no banings, no nothing ... I truly believe that if you treat people like adults they will generally behave like adults. Goofy adults, maybe, but still adults.

I'm going to stop remembering life in AVEN's back room now because it makes me mad for no reason ...

Just call me Politically Incorrect. I'm not apologizing for them; there's no point to it because they don't want things to change badly enough to deal with all of the butt-hurt whining and uproar that would be the result. Therefore they deserve the mess that they have.
I was SO glad to get out of that place! (Can you tell? :mrgreen: )

Apositive has a leader (or, well, a leadership team if you count Kæth) and we don't choose to coddle anybody. Strong opinions are welcome, even if they are unpopular, but they won't be specially protected so there is always the possibility of equally strong rebuttals. And, if somebody crosses the line into outright hostility those comments will be edited asap.
Because I'm a grownup, and if I screwed up that's what I would want to happen to me. So, even though I'm not religious, I think that "Do unto others" bit works pretty well most of the time.

Sorry if this post is rambling and disconnected ... I kept getting interrupted and having to re-boot my brain. (Ouch!)


I read in the I newspaper an interview with the author of American Psyco Bret Easton Ellis and will type it verbatum more or less to re affirm Nancy's point

He states......Young people have been too cocooned in their upbringing and were unable to handlecriticism and were vunerable to collapse at the first sign of struggle. What we have ..ellis goes on...what we have is a generation who are super confident and super positive about things but when the least bit of darkness enters their lives they're paralysed. In a way it's down to the generation that raised them, who cocooned them them in praise..four stars for showing up you know? (my bit..a medal for everyone and it's the taking part that's important and as such removing the ability to learn life skills in harshness and realism) back to ellis....but eventually everyone has to hit the dark side, someone doesn't like you, someone doesn't like your work, someone doesn't love you back, people die. When I hear millenials getting hurt by "cyber bullying" or being a gateway to suicide it's difficult for me to process, branding them "generation wuss" he added it's very difficult for them to take criticism and because of that a lot of content is kind of shitty and when someone is criticised they seem to collapse or the person criticising them is called a hater, a contrarian or a troll.

In this Ellis highlights what I feel has turned aven from a place for the different into a place where the different get banned. I understand the safe place theory as false as it is but by allowing so many rules for so many tender hearts it has all but stifled real debate, real inputs and real differences from real people expression real opinions so instead of becoming welcoming it has in fact encouraged and let down those who seek solace and safety

you do not prepare a generation for the harshness and reality of life by banning anyone who dares mention it, truly you do no favours

Avens backroom for years has been like the titanic but even worse as for much of it's voyage it rarely has had a rudder

why mention this..again referring back to Ciri's incorrect warning leading to a very incorrect ban..a complaint was wrongly believed and a narcissistic application of control was enforced..the ban should be overturned and returned back to the last level of warn at the very least

the time it has taken for the appeal ..come on guys..really? no appeal should ever take more than 7 days..you wouldn't accept it in real life and it's even less acceptable when you have a group of apparently people who are intelligent and want the best for aven.

I tell you what..seriously...overturn ciri's last warning leading to the ban and I genuinely will offer you my time and input to create a more efficient, professional and friendlier aven backroom. I will not post as a member but will come in as a consultant to improve not only your working methods, your organisation but also make it a place mods and admins more days than not ..will want to come into ...a genuine offer

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Re: Ciri's Shitty Blog [Dead]

Postby Ciri » Thu Feb 20, 2014 2:45 pm

I wrote a long post and can't be bothered to rewrite it so here is a summary:

More proof that this was personal is in the fact that in the quote sent to that other member suggesting we were involved in breach recruitment was editted in a way which misrepresents me. There were 3 messages sent. Only messages 1 and 3 were quoted. Message 3 was in response to message 2, not message 1. If you only use messages 1 and 3, it looks like I was admitting to the breach recruitment thing when in fact I was saying "ah yeah, right" to message 2 which was about minorities being represented in elections.

The second part was about how the language admods use contributes to the warn/report/ban situations. If less patronising words were used and people we're treated like children or looked down on, there would be much less resentment and much less reoffending.

Seriously: "Stop calling people turboc*nts or you'll be banned." would earn a much better reaction than "Your behaviour has been unacceptable." Of course it was unacceptable, most people who insult someone know they're doing it!
You're all dead and I'm your eternal punishment.

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Re: Ciri's Shitty Blog [Dead]

Postby Ciri » Thu Feb 20, 2014 4:12 pm

Aaaand we've hit 1 month...what a load of bollocks, I'm going to be really pissed off if it's taken this long to reject me. Really...pissed off. Paranoia returning. Maybe they're trying draw it on to see if I'll sock.

In other news, my mother has accused me of stealing £200 which is amusing and that I'm lying when I say I haven't seen it. Huzzah! People like accusing me of bullcrap. No, I didn't take it nor do I know where it is.
You're all dead and I'm your eternal punishment.

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Re: Ciri's Shitty Blog [Dead]

Postby Ciri » Fri Feb 21, 2014 7:12 pm

Oh. I get it, now. It was a set up.

Screw this. Screw people. Screw everything. I don't even want to know the outcome anymore.
You're all dead and I'm your eternal punishment.

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Re: Ciri's Shitty Blog [Dead]

Postby PiF » Sat Feb 22, 2014 1:49 am

I am sorry they are doing this ciri..they did the same with egd and it took months before they were honest enough to say to her..nope you will never be a mod again..they kept her waiting which whatever you feel the individual has done..seems incredibly cruel and rather two faced for a team that says they want to create safe places because they care for their members.

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Re: Ciri's Shitty Blog [Dead]

Postby flergalwit » Sun Feb 23, 2014 3:15 pm

I am allowed to say this much: that there has been no response is not because they can't be bothered. When you start bringing in talk of legal action, withdrawn or not, the whole picture becomes more messy (as with previous similar cases), and there are certain things that have to be checked before responses are made. I know you admitted above that the legal talk was a mistake and I appreciate that. Hopefully there will be a response before too long.

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Re: Ciri's Shitty Blog [Dead]

Postby PiF » Mon Feb 24, 2014 3:01 am

Thank you Micheal..Despite my general grumpyness I have always appreciated your input to try and resolve rather than complicate

As to the legal issue causing a delay, pardon my bluntness it's a crock of shit. The decision wether facing legal or non legal scrutiny should be able to stand on it's own two feet with honesty, consistancy and with humanity.

Other wise it looks like if you are going to sue us we will give you one decision, or no decision at all but if your not going to sue us then the decision will be different..this I would suggest leaves many more issues about how the tos is applied and wether the people doing it are suitably qualified.

I have always felt and stated that to keep people waiting can in SOME cases appear to be mentally torturing that person as Aven is important to them that is why time limits on appeals/warnings would work more closely in tandem with the sites claim of wishing a safe place ....in both the good and bad.

Given this mental abuse is still happeneing ...I would ask/kindly suggest a review and put in place time limits on such things to avoid not only pain to the individual but also leaving Aven wide open for a claim possibly of mental cruelty some time in it's future. which given the suing culture is not an unrealistic expectation.

Again in Ciri's case I feel it would be a wise move to discount the last warning that led her to a ban, remove the ban and place her back on warning two..both sides will see a level of ability to communicate and accept on occasions both sides have made steps forward to improve communication, understanding whilst neither accepting liablity. A smart move in my book.

Still offering to help by the way ;)

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Re: Ciri's Shitty Blog [Dead]

Postby flergalwit » Mon Feb 24, 2014 10:04 am

I know first hand that the legal issue is the ultimate cause of the delay. That doesn't mean it will be an indefinite delay, but a delay nonetheless.

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Re: Ciri's Shitty Blog [Dead]

Postby Ciri » Thu Feb 27, 2014 4:54 pm

With all due respect, and I know you're just the messenger, I wouldn't have snapped and sent those emails if I hadn't been accused of a load of bollocks (I'm still not sure whether this smile is because I find that accusation ridiculous or in frustrasion.). As I've said before, I'm not blameless and at the same time, neither are they.

I'm bailing out of this now. For me this was never about being blocked from posting on some silly inconsequential forum, that's not important to me. Not as important as my friends believing I am an untrustworthy conspirer against a community with tendancies to hack their accounts. People actually got hurt this time and not in the same way as the tumblr brigade portray it.

I don't know whether the crap about breach recruiting was deliberate, I hope it wasn't but I have enough evidence in front of me to know somebody twisted it a lot. How can somebody go from "reporting the existance of breach recruiting and not being taken seriously" to "being permabanned for orcastrating breach recruitment" three months later? A chatlog twisted so much it leads to a conversation that never happened? Refusing to send evidence and claiming I had already received it? I'm a complete idiot at times but I'm nowhere near stupid and whoever did this should know better, this is insulting in itself. You know, this has led to me turning on the majority of people I still speak to because now I don't know whether something I've said is being sent to admods and misconstued. What else is left to pin on me?

Oh yeah, today in private I was non-jokingly accused of causing the excessive SQL errors. I still don't know whether to be chuffed that people think I have the computer science know-how for that or frustrated that I'm still being accused of rubbish.

Sort of related - Since 2nd Nov, I've been getting flashbacks of events from 3 years previous. I thought getting of prescription pills and lowering my alcohol intake would stop that. It hasn't. I have handled a lot of negative events myself with a couple of breakdowns here or there. Therapy never worked for me because it would require opening my mouth and talking about it.
You're all dead and I'm your eternal punishment.

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Re: Ciri's Shitty Blog [Dead]

Postby KAGU143 » Sat Mar 01, 2014 9:15 am

I wish I could say something helpful but I'm so far removed from everything at AVEN that I'm absolutely clueless.

*offers support*
If you can't say something nice, don't say anything at all.

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Re: Ciri's Shitty Blog [Dead]

Postby PiF » Sat Mar 01, 2014 1:31 pm

I found the breach recruitment funny..not because the position your in girly but if was due to that

then words not even on the site, about things that never happened seems to my recollection not part of the tos unless it's changed

the sql errors are largely because dj is too tight to pay for more server space as the site gets more and more full of opinion. php is known as an sql central, also whilst it remains the easiest to code...it's own simplicity is the biggest cause of why it is so easy to cause problems too

* edited. the last admin who used that took out a shed load of posts/threads :lol:

I have a theory that within the php there is a bullshit meter and that aven sets it off more than any other forum :lol:

anyway..next week meet up yay :D

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Re: Ciri's Shitty Blog [Dead]

Postby Ciri » Tue Mar 04, 2014 4:13 pm

Meeeet up! If I don't get a hug, I will hunt you down.

I'm trapped in another "I hate being aro" thought cycle.

Firstly, If somebody is my friend, there is a very high chance I will develop some sort of (for lack of a better word) "squish" on them. This is very confusing for me because I don't usually feel any type of care for people (beyond "that is a human being, if they are hurt I should help them) even those I call friend. "Friends" to me are people I tolerate within my general area for a prolonged period of time, I rarely miss them (unless beneficial to me) and engage with them very superficially. I do acknowledge their existance when not around them. I don't let them physically touch me though.

Actually full on caring for somebody is an entirely different ball game and is very new to me ie 17-18yrs old. This made me think anyone I remotely cared about on a personal level was somebody I had a crush on (at the time, my three best friends) This led to me making the worst decision of my life and being trapped in a (let's go with 'unhappy' here) relationship for 4 years, including accepting a marriage proposal. Not to mention completely ruining my relationship with my 'best-est' friend because I thought I was in love with him when I had familial feelings for him.

These both had a few knock on effects, the one with my 'best-est' friend made me think I was also in love with my brother because the feelings were very similar. Which made me think I was attracted to kids with a particular affiliation for incest. I have neither, just to clear that one up. I wasn't used to interpretting feelings at this time (still aren't) so it messed with my head, made me hate myself, I completely withdrew from my sibling relationship with my brother and haven't been able to rebuild it. With my ex (and only serious boyfriend), a lot of stuff happened including me not being able to figure out why my feelings were the same for him as for my other friends. With all the negativity, I'm too scared (<.<) to let anybody close enough to me to have a proper close friendship.

Obviously my other feelings had other ideas and decide on a regular basis that I want close friendships with different people (usually one at a time). Because of the cognitive dissonance involved, if I get too close to anybody in particular, my fear wins out and I get that person to hate me destroying that relationship. Then the other side of me thinks "oh crap, I didn't mean to do that! Come back!" And it eats away at me.

If I am willing to let you close enough to hug me, you've been friendzoned. In the "I actually enjoy and seek out your company (offline or online), care about your wellbeing and talk about you when you aren't around" kind of way. I do not like you enough to talk to you over the phone. <- reserved only for my mother and father. Phones are scary. "Squishes" are the next level up - I get possessive and all hurt if they have close friends and jealous, exactly the same as if they get a girl/boyfriend.
You're all dead and I'm your eternal punishment.

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Re: Ciri's Shitty Blog [Dead]

Postby PiF » Sat Mar 08, 2014 1:51 am

ooo talking in a bar last night with some chums who I used to work with and aven and your situation came up Ciri. They work in the legal field and their outlook is that the internet is a huge untapped ambulance chaser for low life lawyers who will probably win.

As more and more of peoples lives are being shared on the web, forum owners and their designated officials..in avens case mods/admins ..could be held personally liable should they cause or promote any situation that may cause a person distress even more so once that situation that has become stressfull and has been identified and acknowledged.

so that got me thinking...aven is declassifying again..from 2010 (I suspect it's from 2010 because before then mods largely did things properly) so I thought.... what if they publicly declassify warning/ban threads and as a result a person feels they have been named and shamed by an organisation publicly, this would in effect be a double punishment.

Their opinion was that aven could be sued up the ying yang wether that person was still a member or even a banned member as they had not given their explecit permission for a punishment to be publicly viewed, nor does it state that they could do so within the operators rules i.e. the tos.

Me I don't give a flying doo dah reading some of my old ones would show how silly some of them have been.....but by publishing declassified threads based on punishment..Mr Jay and those who took the decision to publicly publish could be personally sued and even MAY get the site shut down

interesting times.

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Re: Ciri's Shitty Blog [Dead]

Postby flergalwit » Sat Mar 08, 2014 6:21 am

PiF wrote:.....but by publishing declassified threads based on punishment..Mr Jay and those who took the decision to publicly publish could be personally sued and even MAY get the site shut down

You are being even sillier than usual, Mr Forward!

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Re: Ciri's Shitty Blog [Dead]

Postby KAGU143 » Sun Mar 09, 2014 10:30 am

I don't visit AVEN very much anymore (as is common knowledge) but when I was there it was standard procedure to remove all traces of the members' names when threads were de-classified. I would be extremely surprised if that policy has changed.
If you can't say something nice, don't say anything at all.

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Re: Ciri's Shitty Blog [Dead]

Postby flergalwit » Sun Mar 09, 2014 11:01 am

People now have the option of asking that their name isn't redacted. But other than that, the policy hasn't changed afaik.

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Re: Ciri's Shitty Blog [Dead]

Postby PiF » Thu Mar 13, 2014 8:18 am

I see now that in the case of a ban... Unless they specify a time limit.... Then you cannot appeal the ban for 6 months!

Add to that the usual head in the sand and non communication because we don't want too ner na ner ner ner.... You could be looking at a year before you can appeal and get a result

What would have been nice and ever do slightly professional rather than the usual muppet style was ... If they had added on the notification something like.... Understanding how emotionally upsetting it is to be banned... Once the appeal had been lodged then we will endevour to give the member the decision of the appeal within 14 days.

Look back over the the last couple if years

There constant rule changes restricting members but very little in raising their own standard

I still maintain no mod should serve for longer than 2 years without having to face re-election.

Even corrupt governments get regular elections

I'm gonna take a wild punt here and ask ..... Ciri have you heard anything yet ?

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Re: Ciri's Shitty Blog [Dead]

Postby Ciri » Thu Mar 13, 2014 3:33 pm

Nope, no reply. 1 month, 2 weeks and 6 days. And the funny thing is, I was even threatening to sue them (I remembered, somebody else put those words in my mouth), I was threatening to go to the police to seek advice over the whole "we're stalking you over the internet" thing. I've seen them threaten something similar, so while I understand it was wrong, I don't understand why they can say it and I can't.

The "How to Appeal" thread filled me with rage, actually. I can see myself receiving an automatic rejection based on the fact I appealed my ban prior to being banned for 6 months. If that is the case then I will go apeshit because about 2 weeks before I sent my warn, I sent a request for clarification in the meaning of the phrase "in no less than 6 months". I never received a reply. I've stated multiple times in public and private that if you use needlessly pretentious language in an official message to me:

a) I will lose any inclination I may have had of reading past the first two lines. This typically results in me reading the first line of the message and the last line.

b) The language used makes me feel like the writer believes themselves to be superior to me thus increasing my anger if I happen to read more than two lines.

c) I am dyslexic, I do not read sentences as a whole, I read them word for word. If two negative words are next to each other, I will get confused as to the overall meaning. This isn't the first time I have been confused over a complex sentence structure, I was told if I needed help in understanding a message then I could contact them as necessary.

Why should I have to wait 6 months to appeal a ban over something that didn't happen? Circumstances such as this shouldn't occur in the first place. I'm under no illusions that somebody, somewhere along the line decided to set me up - admod or reporter. I'm pretty sure I know who it is, anyway. I expect a full investigation as to why this bullshit was allowed to happen particularly scrutinising anybody who deemed it fit to accept an out of context Skype message complete with message removed to look like I was admitting to stuff, as evidence of a lack of integrity on my part. If anybody is lacking in integrity, it's those who participated in this farce.

I'm gathering sooner or later I'm going to be accused of creating a "public appeal" for my messages here. In which case they should ask themselves why I'm not discussing it in private (Hint: It's because none of my private conversations are private.).

The reason I don't particularly want to go to WP anymore is this: why the hell would I want to sit in a room with a bunch of people who not only believe the worst in me but also completely destroyed a support network that was crucial at the time. People who outright lied about me and set me up believing I'm too stupid to notice. Suffocated me online to the point I had to change my name on most forums and nearly abandon my own to escape. I'm not going somewhere that I know somebody will constantly be watching me for any wrong move.

By the way, this make me feel like I'm incredibly stupid and naïve for not figuring this out from the start. No doubt I'll be blamed for misunderstanding their email. Part of me wonders if they're in some competition to make me feel crap about myself. I'm mainly appealing out of principle. I'm guilty of one thing in my warn and frankly, nobody has the right to judge me on that action until they experience the same situation that made logging into another members account necessary. As I've said before, I want nothing more to do with any of them, those who pushed it through and those who let it be pushed through.
You're all dead and I'm your eternal punishment.

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Re: Ciri's Shitty Blog [Dead]

Postby PiF » Fri Mar 14, 2014 6:50 am

As they didn't mention it referred to past bans then everyone should assume that it means from that implementation date and not be retrospective so you should be okay ciri... Still a poor standard as to why it's taken so long.

I wonder also if the banned person has to wait 6 months now will the not list that person as banned until a possible appeal has been heard ?

I'm well over 6 months ... I might appeal again.. After all I've done my time and to continue a ban as unlimited was never mentioned at any time .

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Re: Ciri's Shitty Blog [Dead]

Postby Ciri » Fri Mar 14, 2014 10:18 am

It wasn't a rule change, though. Rule changes are also announced via a thread in the Announcements forum. This is one that has been implemented for ages and it specifically stated in my ban email that I must appeal in "no less than 6 months". I don't think it should be considered my fault since I specifically asked what the heck that phrase means.

They list everybody that has been banned. Except me.

You should appeal, don't expect a positive response though :p
You're all dead and I'm your eternal punishment.

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Re: Ciri's Shitty Blog [Dead]

Postby flergalwit » Fri Mar 14, 2014 2:29 pm

God only knows what's happening any more - I really don't keep up with all this nonsense. But really, my guess is that no-one thought you would have difficulty understanding what "no less than 6 months" means. You're very far from a stupid person and most of the time your reading comprehension is fine. So if they used this kind of language, without further explanation, I don't think there was anything malicious in it.

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Re: Ciri's Shitty Blog [Dead]

Postby Ciri » Fri Mar 14, 2014 7:05 pm

No I don't believe that was malicious at all. I'm just pissed off that I may have lost my only chance to appeal through a mistake that could have been avoided if my question had been answered.
You're all dead and I'm your eternal punishment.

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Re: Ciri's Shitty Blog [Dead]

Postby PiF » Sat Mar 15, 2014 3:24 am

It would be clearer if the message had/would read, you cannot appeal for 6 months from the date of your ban would it not? Communication for the backroom is not it's strongest point.

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Re: Ciri's Shitty Blog [Dead]

Postby flergalwit » Sat Mar 15, 2014 4:08 am

Ciri wrote:No I don't believe that was malicious at all. I'm just pissed off that I may have lost my only chance to appeal through a mistake that could have been avoided if my question had been answered.

I don't think you lost any chance. If you want to appeal, just wait till the 6 months are up.

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Re: Ciri's Shitty Blog [Dead]

Postby PiF » Sat Mar 15, 2014 11:13 am

The problem I see with the 6 months is that for many using the Internet today, 6 months is a life time.

It's a shame that it has dragged on to be honest