jmb wrote:I thought we were talking about the specific event that happened in March/April/May (yes, some threads went on into May) on AVEN. So, the information/proof you request has already been provided elsewhere in this thread.

No we were not. I was asking for evidence for your assertions that
(1) AVEN says "We're first and we're the best and the rest of you STFU." or that 'AVEN is "The Best Site" and it should be the "only" Asexual site out there',
(2) people were "ridiculed and attacked" for going to other asexual sites and then coming back to AVEN.

But I wouldn't bother. You won't find evidence for the first. I sincerely doubt you'd have more luck on the second either, but who knows.

KAGU143 wrote:I think the biggest reason that AVEN *seems* to be portraying itself as elevated above the other sites is due to DJ. He refuses to even set foot (figuratively) into any of the other asexual sites. Why is that?

I spoke to DJ about apositive among other things the first time I met him in person, back in 2011. He seemed interested to know what was going on here. The overwhelmingly most likely reason he has never made an account is that he wouldn't have time to participate in many discussions. (After all, he doesn't have time to participate in many AVEN threads these days.) I'm sure if he'd known you saw it as important for him to make an account, and perhaps an intro post, even if he didn't have time to participate further, he'd have done so.

I don't know about discussion forums but has he ever participated in asexual *projects* that others have started? Absolutely. Examples that spring to mind:
[*] Hot Pieces of Ace - a video collaboration project, started on AVEN but not by him; I'm sure his participation for a time was a boost to the project,
[*] Asexual Awareness Week - a project started by Sara Beth Brooks (who has an AVEN account but is rarely on there); he has most certainly thrown his weight behind this one,
[*] WorldPride 2012; he took the time out of his busy schedule to fly all the way to London for WorldPride; you can imagine what a boost this was for me and others involved in making WP 2012 happen.

And probably many more.

DJ distinguishes between the asexuality *movement* and the *community*. All of the above projects are primarily movement not community projects, though there is some overlap. It seems to me most of his public participation these days is in the movement not the (at least online) community. (He does go to SF meets still.) That to me is the most likely reason he doesn't join other online communities such as apositive. It's a matter of not having time for everything and thus narrowing his role so that he is still able to have a role in asexuality.

Could you see his involvement in the above projects as promoting his own interests? Of course. But there is nothing wrong with liking the limelight, and by participating he is bringing benefit to others as well. I don't ask people for sacrifices. If everyone wins, I'm more than happy with the situation.

With regards to AVEN as a whole, I do think it tries to cater for too many sectors of the LGBT community. Yes, there are many asexuals who don't identify with their birth-gender but there are also other forums that they could go which AVEN could link to in it's community links page. This is another reason why i think AVEN has been failing in it's task. How many forums and subforums are actually necessary? I think at least half could be gotten rid of. I'm not sure how comfortable I feel dissing AVEN when I aren't able to discuss this on their with them.

Hm DJ, he has left his forum in what he believed to be capable hands. He was too busy to continue something he had started so handed the baton over to others, haven't you done the same? The guy has faults like the rest of us. I met him once, I was too tired to remember what was being said but I can't remember wanting to punch him in the face. Who are we to judge him? If he turned around and judged us for this conversation, we would be asking him the same question. He has other projects, lets move on from that and look at the actual issue.

I have made many posts, threads, comments complaining about admod actions, warns, nudges. I acknowledge that occassionally I fly into a rage, hyperfocus on one thing and a week long argument occurs. Shit happens. But the rest of my gripes could be solved with declassifieds, if I see how a conversation panned out I can't claim favortism or conspiracy. I'm sure that's the same for a lot of other peoples issues too. Details about the poster don't have to be given out, just the conversation.

I've had my disagreements and differences with AVEN over the years, but to be fair half the problems are inevitable with a forum that size, since they can't police everything and please everyone. One thing the admins could do to mitigate the problem is insist on a straightforward definition of what their movement/community stands for, e.g. 'Asexuality = Absence of sexuality', then it wouldn't be so much of a mindfuck of endless 'demi' threads, terminology members have pulled out their asses, anti-sexuals, arguments over who's more asexual than who, etc.

flergalwit wrote: (2) people were "ridiculed and attacked" for going to other asexual sites and then coming back to AVEN.

I can't see a problem with that, if some have complained about it then they are probably snowflakes but I am sure their mums will kiss them at night and when they are being tucked in she will tell them all the bad people have gone away

flergalwit]WorldPride 2012; he took the time out of his busy schedule to fly all the way to London for WorldPride; you can imagine what a boost this was for me and others involved in making WP 2012 happen..[/quote]

For those who think he is the asexual saviour then I can see the same reaction as anonomous members waiting to meet assange...plus from his view...a whole new media country to possibly to connect with would have encouraged the trip...hush my mouth

[quote="flergalwit wrote:DJ distinguishes between the asexuality *movement* and the *community*..

And this I feel is where mostly he is going wrong, it's a bit like going into an english resturant and ask for a dish in either uzbek or mandarin...those waiting for information get confusing and very little relative accurate information...although in dj's case that would be the house speciality